Ryann - Chapter 7

            Jenny set down the cookies she had been seriously considering. She had a sweet tooth today but was trying not to give in. She stepped away and then turned back to them. She reached for them then pulled back her hand. “I really shouldn’t.”

“No, you shouldn’t. My mother can make much better cookies than that. Store bought goods aren’t even allowed in the house.”

Jenny turned to see Denver leaning lazily against the shelf. He had a lopsided grin on his face that she couldn’t deny was quite appealing. She felt her heart speed up at his presence. “Are you suggesting I buy the makings and then have your mother make me cookies?”

“Yep,” crossed his arms.

“I can’t do that.”

“Okay, I’ll just mention your craving. They’ll be done before you know it.”

“You would exploit your own mother like that?”

“She loves it,” he assured her.

She laughed easily at his banter. She felt at ease whenever he was near her. They had gone on a date only two short days ago. Her head was still reeling. Everything about him appealed to her. He was funny and attractive. He treated her like a lady and opened the door for her. When they walked through the crowd he had placed his hand securely on her back to lead her safely through. He had kissed her on the first date and her heart had fluttered. She hadn’t wanted him to stop.

“You’re incorrigible.”

“I do try,” he acknowledged. They were quiet for a moment. “Would you like to come over and I’ll make us something to eat with cookies for dessert?”

“You cook?” she asked skeptically.

“You’ll have to come over to find out,” he tempted.

She tried to hold back her grin but couldn’t. “Okay, it’s a date.”

“Good. Would you like to come with me now or meet me later?”

“I’ll go with you now. This I have to see with my own eyes.”

“Prepare to be dazzled.”

            Jenny felt an overwhelming sense of dread fill her entire being. What had she done? She could almost picture Ryann’s face when she found out. Jenny paced back and forth and gave herself every excuse she could think of to justify their actions. She cared about Denver. They were both consenting adults. Why should she feel guilty?

            After convincing herself that all was well and anyone who said otherwise was wrong, she walked into the house. Ryann was curled up on the couch reading a book. She turned her head sideways when she heard someone enter. “Hey, beautiful. Did you have a good time? You sure were out long enough.” Ryann turned back to her book and put the marker in place. Before she had time to speak further Jenny exploded.

            “You are not my boss, Ryann. What and how long I do things is of none of your concern.” Jenny snapped back.

            Ryann’s head came up in shock. She hadn’t said anything to warrant an attack of this degree, she had only been playing. “Are you okay?” she asked. They made a cute couple and everyone was happy with the match. Ryann even had relaxed over the idea.

            “I’m fine,” Jenny’s voice reeked of cynicism.

            “Jenny, something must be wrong. Did you and Denver have a fight?”

            Jenny gave Ryann and angry glare. “Does everything have to be an event to you, Ryann!”

            “What? I don’t understand what it is that I’ve done,” Ryann said. She watched Jenny in silence for a long moment trying to understand what was going through her head. Slowly a thought crept in. “Are you sleeping with him?” Ryann asked in unbelief.

            “That is none of your business!”

            Ryann saw the answer in Jenny’s face. “You are,” she said more to herself than Jenny. “What are you guys thinking? Haven’t you had enough failed relationships?”

            Jenny exploded. “You self righteous,” she couldn’t think of how to end it. “You think because you’ve been my superior at work and because I live under your parent’s roof, that you have any say over my life. Let me tell you this, Ryann Kodi, I don’t care what you think. Denver and I are adults and we will do whatever we want!”

            Ryann was in shock. She knew they were attracted to each other, but she had never dreamed that they would rush into something like this, especially not with their backgrounds. “What, you want to get pregnant, married, and divorced like Denver’s first marriage, or maybe you want to give away yourself just to later find out you threw it away on a relationship that would never last.”

             Ryann couldn’t put a description to the look that came over Jenny’s face, and she sure didn’t expect Jenny to take what she said the way that she did. Ryann had been describing Denver and Jenny’s previous relationships. She never would have guessed that Jenny would take it personally.

            “So now I’m not good enough for your brother. I could only be a diversion to be used and later discarded.” Jenny seethed.

            “That’s not what I meant,” Ryann countered.

            “Really, you obviously don’t think your brother could really care about me. You don’t think we could ever make it last. Either you think me not good enough or you think your brother to be worthless in keeping a relationship together.”

            “Now hold on. You came in here and attacked me. I’m sorry if I acted a little out of kilter but I was just reacting. What is it you want me to say, Jenny? Oh great, have a good time. Just be sure to use protection. No, I care about you and I don’t want to see you hurt.” Ryann reasoned.

            Jenny shook her head. “No, you just don’t want to lose control.” She turned and walked up the stairs. “This subject is closed.”

            Ryann stared after her mouth gaping. Lorna came out from her spot in the hallway. She had heard arguing and came to investigate. Ryann started up after Jenny.

            “Ryann,” Lorna called out softly.

            Ryann stopped and looked at her mother. “What?”

            “You won’t get her to your side by yelling at her.”

            Ryann threw up her hands. “She jumped down my throat first.”

            “That sounds grown up.”

            Ryann growled and pushed down her frustration. “I don’t want to see them get hurt. Look at her, look what it’s already done!”

            “You can’t protect them from themselves. They have to make their own decisions. You can only love them and try to make them see the truth.” Lorna tried to soothe her daughter, though all the while she herself was worried about her son and the girl she counted as a daughter. “Let the Lord take care of them. It’s guilt that you’re feeling from her. Let the spirit work on her.”

            Ryann turned away from her mother. Was she to stand back and let them make a huge mistake? She shook her head. “I don’t know if I can stay out of this.”

            Lorna shook her head. “You may not have a choice, Ryann.” She turned and quietly walked away. Silently she began to pray to the Lord to be with Jenny and Denver and the choices that they were to make. And she prayed for Ryann, who had a lot to learn about who was in control.

            Jenny gave Ryann the cold shoulder from that point on. Ryann tried to talk to Jenny but it ended in an argument every time. Josey was forced to intervene one night. She pushed Ryann back away from Jenny and got in her face. “Who is it that you serve with all this yelling and anger?”

            Ryann didn’t even hear her sister’s question, but didn’t have a chance to continue the argument. Jenny turned and left the house before Ryann could put another word in. A few minutes later Denver walked in. He had met Jenny at the door and talked with her.

            Denver stomped into the living room. “What are you doing to her?” he demanded.

            “What am I doing to her?” Ryann looked at him in astonishment. She collapsed on the couch. “Haven’t you learned anything from your marriage?” She saw his stony look and tried another approach. “Okay, if not, do you have any idea what Jenny went through? Do you know about her previous relationships? I don’t think so, or you wouldn’t be asking what I’m doing to her, you’d know what you both were doing to each other.”

            Denver seemed to waver but gained composure. “This isn’t your business.”

            “So I’ve been told,” Ryann said with a little too much sarcasm.

            “Then listen,” he barked out. He turned and left the house slamming the door behind him.

            Josey looked at Ryann and shook her head. Ryann noticed the movement and stood up. “What?” she said in a hostile voice.

            “Oh, are you going to yell at me now?” Josey asked.

            Ryann shook her head. “No,” she sighed, “I’m sorry.”

            Josey ran her hand over her mouth. “Have you ever heard the saying, ‘you attract more flies with honey than vinegar’?”

            Ryann gave her a slightly dirty look. “I know,” she began to pace. “I don’t mean to yell, but then we get into it and fall into old routines. I can’t help it.”

            “Well you’d better, Ryann, before you lose a brother and a friend,” she shrugged. “Maybe for good.”

            Ryann sat down again. “I know, I know.” She leaned over and buried her head in her hands.

            Josey wanted to comfort Ryann but decided to leave her alone instead. This was something Ryann was going to have to work out between herself and her God. “Lord God, help us,” she said to herself as she walked out.

            A few hours later Jenny and Denver walked back in. Ryann hadn’t moved from her space on the couch. They engaged in a short staring match, and then Ryann tried her best to make peace. “Look, I’m sorry. I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”

            “Stop it, Ryann.”

            “Stop what?” Ryann asked, the exhaustion coming out in her voice.

            “Trying to control my life,” Jenny said.

            “I’m not trying to control your life; I’m just worried about you.” Ryann tried to reach her friend. “I’m concerned that you’re making a mistake.”

            Jenny shook her head. “You know, Ryann, I think that you’re jealous.”

            “Jealous of what?”

            “You’ve had me following you around like a lost little puppy dog and now that I’ve found my way, you want me back,” Jenny accused.

            “I think you’re moving to fast!” Ryann countered.

            “No, you don’t think I’m good enough for your brother.”

            “Not that again,” Ryann shook her head, her anger was rising again. “You’re getting your stories mixed up. Either I want you for myself or you’re not good enough for my brother. I don’t think that they both work.”

            Jenny erupted. “That’s it, Ryann. I am not going to let you consume my life!” Jenny took a step towards Ryann. “You have been trying to break Denver and me up since the very first. From the way you’re acting I think you want him and his ex back together.”

            “Jenny, that is out of the question. Beth has moved on. She’s out of the country with her new husband. I wouldn’t think of trying to ruin her marriage,” Ryann argued.

            “Oh, but Denver can’t possibly move on and be happy with me.” Jenny mocked.

            “That’s not what I’m saying. Where exactly is all this anger coming from Jenny?” Ryann looked at her friend. She saw a flicker of guilt flash through Jenny’s eyes. “If being together is so right, then why get so angry? Why did you walk in here on the attack?”

            Jenny shook her head in denial. “You know what, enough. None of this is your business, for the umpteenth time. Just stay out of my life. I won’t let you drag me down any longer.” Jenny turned and ran out the door.

            Ryann stood there shocked and hurting. She didn’t know what to do. She turned and looked at Denver who had remained silent through the conflict. “What are you doing?” she asked him again.

            “This is all your work, Ryann.”

            “Don’t you understand that she has baggage from the past,” she tried again. “You can’t do this to her,” Ryann pleaded with him.

            “Can’t do what? Care about her?”

            “Denver, I don’t want what happened with you and Beth to happen to you and Jenny. You’re rushing into this. Slow down, that’s all I’m saying.” Ryann reasoned.

            “What do you know of what happened between Beth and I. You weren’t even here when Beth and I kept losing our babies. You weren’t here when our marriage was suffering.” Denver took a step towards the door. “You’re a control freak, Ryann. That’s your problem. That’s why you can’t stand this. You always have to be in control, and when you can’t, you run.”

            Ryann’s mouth gaped open in astonishment. “You make it sound like I had a fit because David and I had a little argument. I lost my husband, my son, and my unborn baby!”

            “Don’t,” Denver shouted, “Don’t use that card against me. It won’t work. These are our lives, Ryann. If it’s a mistake then it is one we will make together.”

            “You just don’t learn,” she said in a hushed tone. “You’re destroying your relationship before it even really starts.”

            “No, that’s what you’re trying to do. We aren’t going to let you.” Denver went out the front door, slamming it behind him.

            Jenny ran to him and flung her arms around his waist as he approached her. She held him close and buried her head in his chest. “Is your invitation to move in with you still open?”

            “Sure it is,” he answered. “Are you sure?”

            She reached up and touched his face. “Yes, let’s do it.”

            “I don’t want to rush you,” he said.

            “Denver, I want this.” She glanced at the house over his shoulders. “Kiss me,” she commanded. He flashed her a sexy grin and slowly kissed her. “Let’s go to your place,” she said and began to lead him away.

            Ryann walked to the window and watched Denver meet up with Jenny. She watched their encounter and read the body language as Jenny led Denver away. She wasn’t sure but she thought she saw Jenny throw a deliberate look her way. Ryann heard steps behind her and saw that it was her mother. “Don’t mom.”

            “Don’t what?”

            “Start in on me. Don’t tell me that I’m wrong about this.”

            “I won’t. I agree with what you are saying. I just wonder what you think you with accomplish by getting angry and yelling.”

            “They started in on me, mom.”

            “So you join in and your yelling back makes all the difference. You can’t batter this into them, Ryann. You can’t force them to see things as we do. Bullying them won’t get you any closer to getting them to understand,” Lorna tried to reason with her daughter.

            Ryann nodded in understanding. “I know.” She tried hard not to allow tears to well up in her eyes. “Oh, so soon, Lord?” she asked under her breath. “So soon.”

            Lorna put out her arms. “It’s okay, Ryann.”

            Ryann turned into her mothers embrace. “I had a feeling something was going to come between us.” She felt tears running down her cheek. “I even mentioned it to her. She didn’t believe it would happen.” Ryann closed her eyes. She knew that she had to let go. She just wasn’t sure how to do that.

            That night she couldn’t get any sleep. She finally gave up trying and decided to go for a walk. Ryann left a note in case anyone came looking for her, then left the house. She walked to a place where she and David had often gone. In the park there was a walkway in the shape of a figure eight. It started at the front entrance to the park and led through the park between two cliffs then went uphill over the cliffs over a bridge between the gaps and then down the other side joining again at the front entrance of the park.

            Ryann made her way up to the bridge. She stood in the middle with her arms crossed looking at the side of the bridge. She and David used to sit there. David would sit first and lean back against the column. Ryann would then sit situated between his legs and lean back into him. He would wrap his arms around her and hold her tight as they watched a sunset or sunrise, or sometimes they would sit there and look at the stars together or watch the people in the park, all depending on the time of day or night they made it out to the bridge. After Jance was born they would sit in the same spot in the same way, only Ryann would be holding Jance in her arms.

            Ryann sat down in the spot David had always occupied. She leaned back and wrapped her arms tightly around herself. She could almost feel him there with her. She would lean her head back and kiss his jaw or cheek. He would lean down and kiss her mouth so tenderly and then pull her even tighter into his arms, and they would just sit there as one and look at the glory of God all around them.

            Time passed rather quickly as she stared at the stars. The darkness was beginning to fade to the morning light. She heard a couple walking below her and broke her gaze from the still shining stars to look at them. Upon inspection, she saw that it was Jenny and Denver. The two made a good looking couple. She had never denied that. She had actually believed they would be good together. They complimented one another well. She had never wanted to keep them apart. She had just wanted them to take it slow and smart. She wanted them to see past the attraction and develop friendship, trust, and the kind of love that does not burn as hot as attraction and lust, but longer and keeps the attraction alive. Ryann wanted so much for them. She had to admit that she had not handled this situation correctly, nor had they. Tempers burned fiercer than lust when it came to guilt and past pain.

            Suddenly Ryann felt heavy and weighed down. “I’m holding on to this like a dog with a bone. I don’t learn very well, do I, Lord.” She looked at the couple who were about to round the corner. “Thy will be done,” she said softly, and slept for the first time that night.

            Denver looked up ahead. They were approaching the bridge. “David and Ryann used to come here,” he told her. Jenny stiffened slightly but didn’t say anything. Denver continued on, “She and David used to sit on that bridge for hours.”

            Jenny noticed someone on the bridge. “Maybe she’s there now.”

            Denver looked at the spot. “That’s where they sat.”

            They walked up to Ryann. Jenny noticed that Ryann was sleeping. She stood there silently watching. Ryann awoke with a feeling that she was being watched. The night had nearly vanished altogether. The sun was well on its way to dominating the sky. She looked over and saw Jenny and Denver. Had she been thinking, she would have known they would make their way up to her, and she would have never let herself fall asleep.

            “Are you following us?” Jenny asked. There was no accusation in her voice, neither was there teasing. She was simply asking a question.

            “It’s a good bet that I was here first, which would make you the followers of me,” Ryann returned the comment in the same fashion.

            “I don’t know, we were here pretty early.”

            Ryann smiled sadly. It almost sounded like a real conversation. So what if it lacked all life and love. “Hmm, can you beat two o’clock this morning?”

            Jenny stood silent for a moment studying Ryann. Finally she spoke, “no, you win that one.”

            Ryann nodded and turned her head from them. The park was beginning to fill up. Joggers, mothers with children, and early readers were making their way to their normal spots. Ryann’s eyes came to rest on a lone spot off behind the normal active areas. Slowly she rose and stood on the side of the bridge and leaned onto one of the bridge structures. Jenny and Denver, as well as everyone else in the park, dropped from her mind as her thought drifted into the past.

            “Mommy,” Jance called.

            “Yes.”

            “Will you read to me?” he asked.

            “Me read to you. Why don’t you read to me?” Ryann teased.

            “Don’t be silly momma, I can’t read this book yet.”

            “Which book?” she asked.

            “Our book, mamma.”

            She saw the book he carried towards her. “Oh, that book.”

            “Yeah, let’s find out more about Joe.” Jance insisted. “Please, mommy,” he said in his puppy dog pleading voice.

            Ryann took the book from her son. Beautiful Joe was the title. It was a story about a dog and those around him, told by the dog himself. “Okay, I’ll read.” She stretched out the blanket on the ground and lay down on her side. Jance lay beside her and snuggled up tightly against her. She leaned down and kissed his head, then began reading.

            All the while David had been taking pictures of the two of them. Someone walked by and David asked him to take a picture of them. He handed the camera to the man and snuggled up tightly against Ryann from behind. The man snapped the picture and David hopped up and thanked the man as he retrieved his camera.

            Ryann shook her head at her fanatic picture taking husband but never stopped reading to her son. David took his place behind her. They took turns reading to their son and spent the majority of the afternoon there as a family. Mother, Father, son, and complete with dog, even if he only existed to them in their minds.

            This was the picture of her family that Ryann never wanted to forget. She listed to the voice of her husband reading, felt both of their hearts beating around her, and knew that she was truly blessed by God. His peace was in her heart then. She never wanted to lose this moment.

            Ryann jumped off the side of the bridge and ran towards home. Jenny and Denver followed to see where she was going. Ryann ran across the road without looking and ran in front of a car. The driver braked and honked the horn. Ryann realized what she had done. “I’m sorry. That was really stupid. I’m really sorry.”

            The driver shook his head but dismissed her with a wave of his hand. She picked up running where she left off. Jenny was worried at this point and picked up her pace of following.

            Ryann ran through the front door and made a quick dash for the attic. She took a second to look around and locate the box that she was looking for. She grabbed it and set it on her lap pushing off the lid. Packs of photo’s were dated and sorted inside. She flipped through them one at a time until she found a date that worked. She pulled out the package and took out the photos. She flipped through them one at a time. Ryann was fairly sure she had the right package, but she was looking for one particular picture. She stopped when she found it. She stared at the photo of the three of them together reading a book.

            She smile and for the first time took in her surroundings and noticed the two people standing adjacent to her. “Oh, hi,” she said and turned her attention back to the picture in her hands. “Hmm,” she sighed then turned to them again, “what are you doing up here?”

            “You about got yourself hit by a car,” Jenny said.

            “Yeah, that was stupid of me,” she agreed.

            “Why did you run off like that?” Jenny asked.

            “I remembered being at the park. I wanted this picture,” she handed it to Jenny.

            Jenny couldn’t help but smile. It was a great picture. They had been the family most people only dreamed about. She handed it back to Ryann.

            Ryann was about to leave when she noticed a stack of large folders. They were very familiar to her. She reached over and touched one. They were Jance’s photo albums. She was feeling a strong urge to complete them. She stacked the albums on top of the box. “Denver,”

            “Yeah.”

            “Would you do me a favor and carry this down to the living room?” she asked him.

            “Sure,” was his displaced reply.

            She handed him the box then looked around for anything else she might want. Not seeing anything, she turned to go. As she turned her foot caught on something and she fell onto some boxes. She came eye level with a small stack of video tapes. Ryann reached for them. She knew what was on them as well as if she had just finished watching them. She looked over at Jenny who had remained rather than follow Denver.

            “I’m ready, we can go now,” Ryann said with he tapes in hand.

            Jenny almost shot back that she didn’t need Ryann’s permission but the little part of her judgment that she was still listening to told her that Ryann didn’t mean anything by it. She chose then to remain silent and follow Ryann down to the living room.

            Lorna and Josey walked in as Ryann spread out all of the paraphernalia. “What is all this?” Lorna asked.

            “Look, mom,” Ryann instructed and handed her the picture.

            Lorna smiled and showed the picture to Josey. Josey took it from her. “Where was this taken?”

            “In the park,” Ryann answered.

            Lorna took the picture back. “Beautiful Joe, your father and I used to read that to you.”

            “I remember,” Ryann said.

            Denver started to get antsy. Jenny noticed. “Why don’t you run up and get my stuff,” she suggested to him.

            All heads turned to Jenny in shock. Ryann’s head was the only one that Jenny noticed. Ryann didn’t say a word, she just waited.

            Josey, the brave one, finally spoke up, “Are you leaving? Where are you going?”

            Jenny didn’t take her eyes off of Ryann. “I’m moving in with Denver.”

            Nearly everyone’s mouth dropped open. Only with a great deal of force was Ryann able to maintain a blank look on her face. She forced herself to look at the picture that Lorna handed back to her--if she just focused on this picture. It was such a good picture. It was such a good memory.

            “Don’t you need to get it all together?” Denver spoke into the silence.

            “No, it’s already together in a box.” Denver went up the stairs to get it.

            A muscle in Ryann’s cheek jerked. She forced herself to start arranging the pictures. “It’s about time we get these albums finished up.”

            Lorna looked down at Ryann. “Sure, honey, that would be great.” She felt her daughter’s pain as her own.

            Denver started back down the stairs with the box. Jenny went to check and make sure he had everything. Ryann couldn’t even fool herself, she was shaking all over. She leaned towards Josey. “If you can get this into that box with out Jenny seeing, put it in.”

            Josey looked at the video tape and nodded. She grabbed it and headed past the two at the bottom of the stairs. Ryann wasn’t sure what Josey hoped to accomplish at the top of the stairs, but she just shrugged it off and tried to look as if nothing shocking or disturbing had just been said.

            Denver went out the door. Josey jogged down the steps and followed him outside. “Denver, this is Jenny’s.” She put the tape in the box.

            “Thanks,” Denver said. He looked at his baby sister. He had to quickly look away. It wasn’t that his sister would be judgmental, condescending, or look down at him, it was the disappointment and sadness that got to him. He felt as though he died a little inside when she looked at him like that. He felt that way at night as he looked up at the ceiling in bed after having made love to Jenny. It was stronger then. It felt like he’d lost something of himself he could never get back. He had felt that way before many years ago.

            The guilt he felt after being with Jenny was always great. He felt pain so deeply within that he wasn’t sure sometimes why he continued to do this to them. He knew that Jenny felt the same way, even if she wouldn’t admit it. How could something that at the moment felt so right, later in the cover of night or coming in with the morning light, always feel so wrong. It would get easier with time. It was just others beliefs weighing down on them.

            Jenny waited to see if she would get any comments out of Ryann now that Denver had left. She secretly wanted Ryann to say something. She wanted an excuse to be angry. She wanted to be able to let that anger out on someone.

            Ryann looked up from the album, “Do you,” she stopped and put down her head.

            “What?” Jenny asked near anger.

            “Oh, well, I was just wondering if,” she paused. “I’m going to have this enlarged and framed. I was just wondering if you would like a copy of it.”

            Ryann’s question left Jenny nearly speechless. It knocked the wind right out of her. She turned around and walked to the door. Before going through she answered Ryann. “Sure,” she said then shut the door behind her.

            Ryann stood and walked to the window. Josey walked back in the room. “Are you okay?” she asked.

            “Mmm,” was Ryann’s reply. She walked over to Josey and leaned down. She put her arm around Josey’s legs and stood up lifting Josey onto her shoulder.

            “What are you doing?” Josey asked.

            Ryann carried her back to her spot at the window. She watched as Jenny and Denver rounded the corner and disappeared out of sight. “I give it to you, Lord,” she whispered.

            Teri walked into the living room with the baby. “This is interesting.”

            Josey threw up her hands with a laugh. “She just picked me up.”

            Lorna smiled. “Ryann, dear, what exactly are you planning to do with her?”

            “I don’t know. I’m still debating.” Ryann said.

            “Well,” Lorna said, “there’s always that catch and release policy. The pool is out back.”

            “Mom!” Josey cried, “whose side are you on?”

            “Oh, are there teams?” Lorna asked innocently.

            Ryann reached down and pulled off Josey’s shoes. “Do you have anything in your pockets?”

            “Ryann, you wouldn’t!”

            Ryann felt her pockets and took out Josey’s wallet. She then headed out to the back yard and stood before the pool. “C’mon, Ryann, you’re not really gonna throw me in are you?” she asked sweetly.

            Ryann laughed. “You’ve got me pegged, don’t ya?” with that she tossed Josey into the pool. Ryann laughed as Josey flopped around in the water trying to straighten herself out. Ryann kicked off her shoes, emptied her pockets, and dove in beside her baby sister.

            “You threw me in!” Josey exclaimed.

            Ryann laughed. “Are you sure? I could have sworn that you jumped in of your own free will.”

            Josey splashed her in retaliation. Ryann splashed back and soon they were in a full fledged war. Ryann finally pushed away when there was no apparent winner. She took a breath and floated onto her back.

            Josey allowed this in hopes of a sneak attack. Ryann relaxed and let the water carry her, “You know what we need,” she said.

            “What?” Josey asked.

            “We need another family and friend Bar-B-Q like we used to,” Ryann said, “don’t you think that’d be great.”

            Josey nodded in agreement. “Yeah, but who all are you talking about?”

            Ryann turned her head sideways and looked at Josey. “Well, everyone.”

            “Blake and Luke?” Josey asked.

            “Of course, though you should definitely be the one to invite Luke,” Ryann said.

            “Elizabeth and Tyra?” Josey asked.

            “Yes,” Ryan agreed, “and her new husband.”

            “Do you think that’s wise? Between Blake, Luke, and Elizabeth, Jenny might not come, Denver either.” Josey pointed out.

            “Mmm, that’s a possibility, but it’s also their choice.” She closed her eyes and let the sun warm her face. “We need to include them all, especially now.”

            “Yeah, you’re right.”

            “I’ll ask Beth, you handle the Kodi boys.” Ryann said. “Sound good?”

            “Are you going to run this past mom and dad?”

            “Of course, but when have they ever said no?”

            “When you were gone.” Josey regretted her words as soon as she had said them. “I didn’t mean that how it sounded.”

            “It’s okay, Josey,” Ryann sighed. She knew that there were many layers to forgiveness and that her family would have to go through them all. “So, what do you think?”

            “It sounds fun,” Josey said. “So long as it doesn’t blow up in our faces.”

            “We’ve got to start somewhere,” Ryann said.

            Teri came out with the baby. “Oh, you two look good. Haven’t you heard of a small invention called swim wear?”

            “Watch it, right now all that’s protecting you is that wee babe in your arms,” Ryann threatened.

            Teri laughed. “No doubt.” She turned to Josey. “There’s a phone call for you, Josey.”

            Josey swam to the side and pulled herself out. “I still owe you,” Josey called back over her shoulder to Ryann.

            Ryann laughed not the least bit worried. She looked up at Teri. “So, what do you think?”

            Teri shrugged. She had overheard Ryann’s suggestion of a barbeque. “Well, I doubt Lizzy even knows that you’re home. She’s been away on that trip of theirs. I’m not sure when they’re even due back.” She took a deep breath. “Denver did mention he would be seeing Tyra soon, though.”

            “I’ll have mom find out when they’re supposed to be back,” Ryann said.

            “They live up at the old Miller place.”

            “Oh really, that’s interesting.”

            “It’s changed since you’ve been gone, you’ll have to go take a look.”

            Ryann nodded. “You still haven’t given your opinion.”

            Teri smiled. “It’ll be nice.”

            “Denver mentioned that Beth was away with her new husband, but he never really went further. Where are they?”

            Teri shifted her daughter in her arms. “Well, you know he’s a doctor.”

            “Yeah,” Ryann agreed.

            “Well, every so often he goes to Africa and spends a few months traveling to different hospitals offering his services and knowledge. Beth talked to Denver about it and they both agreed it would be a good experience for Tyra. Denver let her go, though it’s been really hard on him being away from his daughter. She writes him often, though he doesn’t get the letters every day, but he’s not really able to write her back because they’re always moving. He just writes letters that he’ll give her to read when she gets back. It’s kind of sweet and sad at the same time.”

            “Wow, that’s quite the sacrifice on Denver’s part.”

            Teri shrugged. “Denver’s had a lot to work out. I think he’s actually needed the time to get himself together. Plus Tyra was really excited about it and Denver doesn’t say no to her very well.”

            “As if you’ll be any different,” Ryann teased.

            Teri laughed, “Probably not.” She turned her head towards the house after hearing her name called from within. “I think I’m wanted.” She started for the house.

            Ryann pulled herself up out of the water. She was about to go in when a movement caught her eye. A woman was walking around the corner of the house.

            Ryann took a closer look. Her heart jumped. “Kit?” she called out.

            Kate walked casually up to Ryann. She was wearing a large dark blue shirt that was rather baggy with black stretch pants. Her arms were crossed in front of her with her jacket draped over them. She stopped about a foot away from Ryann. “I thought I heard your voice back here. I’d give you a hug, but I don’t know if you’ve noticed, you’re all wet.”

            Ryann hesitated and then laughed. “Yes, I am.” She smiled feeling uplifted for the first time that day. She had been feeling the stress of one pained friendship; she welcomed the ease of an old friendship. “Come on in the house and I’ll get changed. Then we can hug.” Ryann stopped short of the door when seeing that Kate wasn’t following her. “Kit?”

            Kate sighed. She almost wished that she hadn’t come, but she had no one else. She had no where else to go. “We need to talk first.”

            Ryann looked at Kate curiously. “What’s wrong?”

            “Nothing...exactly,” Kate sighed. She was nervous, what would Ryann think of her? She wanted to explain but that would have to come later. She might as well get this over with, she thought. She took a deep breath and again sighed heavily. Taking a step back she opened her arms removing her coat from in front of her.

            Ryann noticed Kate’s condition immediately. “Wow, you’re gonna have a baby.”

            Kate nodded, the nervousness and fear apparent in her face and eyes. Ryann stared at her round belly for a moment then looked up to her face. She saw all that was written there and compassion filled her. “Oh, Kitty.” She closed the distance between them. “I have clothes you can change into,” and with that she took her friend in her arms and held her.

            Kate realized that she had been holding her breath. She now took deep almost sobbing breaths as she embraced her fear.

            Ryann stepped back a little and touched Kate’s face. “You were afraid of what I would think.”

            Kate nodded. “Yes, I guess I was.”

            Ryann kissed her forehead. “Kit, you have nothing to worry about. Nothing you could do would ever make me to stop loving you.”

            Josey came out at that moment. She looked at the woman standing by her sister with no trace of recognition.

            Kate looked over at the young lady who had approached them. “Oh my, it isn’t, is it?”

            “Fraid so.”

            “She’s all grown up.”

            “Well, physically,” Ryann teased.

            Josey gave her a look but was too distracted by the newcomer. Was she supposed to know her? “I’m sorry,” she apologized for the lack of recognition.

            Ryann laughed. “See, I’m not the only one.”

            Kate shook her head. “I’m not impressed.”

            “Ha,” Ryann stepped aside so Josey could have a better look. “Josey, this is my good friend who likes to now refer to herself as Kate.” Josey still looked clueless. Ryann looked at Kate. “For as long as I live you will always be my kitten.”

            Finally there was a spark. “Kitty!” she exclaimed.

            Kate laughed and gave the young woman a hug. “It’s been so long.”

            Josey agreed, “Yeah, it has.” She patted Kate’s tummy, “and you’re going to have a baby.”

            Kate nodded, still a little cautious. Josey caught the vibes and didn’t ask about the father. “Are you staying?”

            “Yes,” Ryann playfully answered.

            “You think so,” Kate shot back.

            “Why else would you have come?” Ryann saw an emotion cross Kate’s face that she could not define. There was more to this than met the eye. Ryann also knew that it would do no good to push her.

            Kate had lived through each of her family members deaths. Her mother had died when Kate was nine. Kate’s older sister had been killed when a drunk driver had crossed that yellow line. Her father had died the year Kate graduated from High School. Kate had been through it all and had come out of it a strong independent woman. She would ask for help when she needed it, but not until she absolutely had to and only on her terms.

            Ryann could imagine what part of the problem was. Kate had no family; in that respect she was all alone. Pregnant and alone could be a very scary place. It would be that way no longer. Ryann knew that the moment her mother saw Kate, the guest room would be made hers. Lorna had always had a soft spot for the girl and now she would not likely let her go.

            “Good,” Josey said, “you can come to the Bar-B-Q that we’re having this weekend. It’s our first official one since Ryann has come home.”

            “Well, maybe I shouldn’t.”

            “Stop it,” Ryann commanded. “As you well remember because you have attended many of these, they are a family and friends event. That, my dear, very much includes you- on both parts.”

            “Okay, okay, I’ll stay,” Kate agreed. Deep down she felt overwhelming relief but she tried not to show it.

            “Good, now let’s go in the house so I can change.” Ryann ushered Kate up to her room. “Josey, you may as well get the ball rolling. There are a lot of people to call.”

            “Too true. I shall start right away.” She went on a search for the official Bar-B-Q phone book.

            Ryann walked into her room and opened her dresser up. As she gathered up some dry clothes, Kate looked around. “It’s exactly the same as it was in school.”

            “Yep, mom leaves them all the same,” Ryann explained.

            Kate looked out the window into the yard. “Where is McCarty?” she asked casually. Kate immediately felt the change in the room. She turned and looked at Ryann who continued to change into her clothes.

            When she had pulled her shirt on over her head, she looked over at Kate. “Well,” she said slowly and sadly. “My guess is she’s probably moving in with my brother as we speak.”

            Kate looked shocked. “Denver?” It couldn’t be Top. “What about Beth?”

            “Divorced,” Ryann explained.

            “Oh,” Kate sat down on the bed. She was both surprised and not. “I guess things have gotten a bit complicated around here.” Did she really need to add to that, she wondered.

            Ryann shrugged. “I’m just,” she stopped. “I don’t know what I am. One minute we’re best of friends and the next. . .well, I don’t know what we are.”

            “What exactly is the problem?” Kate asked carefully.

            Ryann didn’t speak but rather took the time to analyze Kate. She was curious to how much of Kate’s question was really aimed at Jenny or herself. Ryann knew that Kate was not the type who slept around, though neither was she celibate. Kate felt that it was natural to sleep with a man when the relationship had progressed to a certain point. Judging by a guess of how far along Kate was, this child was not a product of such a relationship. Kate had been, for the most part, confined to the base. She hadn’t had time for such a relationship. Course, then again, what did Ryann know? She had been in her own world.

            “What?” Kate asked sensing Ryann’s pursuit.

            “Are you going to expound on the situation?” Ryann asked.

            Kate gave her a stony look. “Should I have to?”

            Ryann sighed tiredly as she sat next to Kate. “That was not a threat, Kit. I don’t want to push you but I do want to help. Unbeknownst to me, you were there for me for a long hard time. I just want to be there for you too. And if you recall, there was a time when you could tell me most anything.”

            Kate closed her eyes. Some thing’s just hurt too much. Ryann pulled Kate close and held her. She laid her head against Kate’s and sat silent. She would not push any further.

            After a few moments Kate pulled herself together. She knew that now was as good as time as any, at least for part of it. “I don’t even know his name. I had a bad night and wanted to drown it out. I chose alcohol and a complete stranger to block it out. It actually made it worse until I found out about the baby.”

            She turned and faced Ryann, grasping the woman’s hand in her own she continued. “I love this child so much. The moment I found out, I knew that this was my reason for life. The only thing I care about is bringing this child into being.” She wanted so much for Ryann to understand.

            Ryann did understand. “Why are you here?” Ryann cut to the chase. The sooner they got the question out of the way, the sooner they could start moving Kate in.

            “I had no where else to go,” Kate said sadly pulling away.

            “Good, you’ve said it. Now you can’t give any arguments when my mother insists that you move in.”

            “Ryann.”

            “No, don’t even start. This is non-negotiable.” She stood up and reached for Kate’s hand. “Come on, let’s go down stairs.”

            Teri did not recognize Kate either. She was equally surprised when finding out who she was speaking to. “You don’t look that different, I don’t know why I didn’t recognize you.”

            “It must be a family trait,” Kate teased.

            Lorna walked into the house and sat her groceries on the table. She would have to go back to the store tomorrow to get everything for the Bar-B-Q, but there were a few items she wanted to start now that were better after they had marinated. She was really quite excited about their upcoming weekend bash. As soon as Josey had mentioned it, Lorna had called Walter at work and then ran off to the store for a few supplies.

            She heard voices in the living room and went in to investigate. Teri and Ryann stood talking to a guest. They all turned when hearing her approach. Lorna’s face lit up instantly. “Kitty!” she exclaimed and hurriedly ran up to her and gave her a hug.

            The group laughed at Lorna’s quick recognition of Kate. “I guess it’s not completely inherited,” Kate joked.

            “Well, it would have to be from mother,” Ryann pointed out. “Josey didn’t recognize you either and we have different fathers.”

            “True,” Kate acknowledged. “Maybe it skips a generation.”

            “Perhaps,” Ryann agreed.

            Immediately after mentioning the baby, Lorna knew the situation. A quick glance at Ryann further explained the state Kate was in. Lorna touched Kate’s face lightly. “So, how much stuff do you have to move in?”

            Kate’s eyes grew big. “I. . . a. . . well,” she wanted to protest. She looked over at Ryann and saw the woman’s humorous look and remembered their previous conversation. “There’s nothing much,” she gave in.

            Ryann smiled. “Are all your things still at the base?” Kate nodded. “Okay.”

            Lorna looked at Ryann. “At the base?”

            Ryann smiled and shrugged. “I’ll let Kit explain. I’m going to go make some calls and get her things shipped over.”

            Ryann nodded and walked off to make her phone call. Looking back she wondered exactly when Kate knew about the baby. When Jenny and she had been there training someone to take over, Kate had insisted that along with herself that the two other’s previously mentioned should be trained as well. Had Kate known then that she wouldn’t be there long? Is that why she fainted that day? Ryann felt as if there was something missing in the story. Picking up the phone she glanced down the hall at Kate. Kate would tell her in her own time. Ryann would wait till then.

            At Lorna’s insistence Ryann escorted Kate up to the room for a nap. Kate couldn’t contest. For one, she was tired and two this woman was her secondary mother. She’d been loved, tutored, encouraged and disciplined by the woman since she was nine years old. Her own mother had not been gone long when Ryann had forced herself into Kate’s life. Once Ryann was in her entire family followed and Ryann’s mother had treated her like her own blood child ever since. When Lorna ordered, Kate followed.

Ryann sat on the bed while Kate walked to the window and looked out. She turned to see Ryann studying her. “What?”

“You disappeared on me again.”

Kate nodded. “Yeah, I’m sorry about that.”

“I was trying to figure out how I was going to find you this time. When you want to disappear, you really do the job well.”

“I suppose.” She didn’t want to get into it.

“You changed your name, Kit.”

“You know I didn’t like my name.”

“That was it?”

She turned and faced Ryann. “What do you want me to say?”

Ryann knew that she should back off but she had so many questions. “I only have one question.” She paused, “for now,” she added.

“What?’ Kate asked cautiously.

“If you hadn’t gotten pregnant, would I have ever seen you again on your own volition?”

Kate locked eyes with her against her will. “I missed you every day since I left your home that day.” She knew how deep Ryann’s questions would like to go. By going there first she was able to control the content and put off more questions for a time. “I felt at home for the first time in a long time on a military base. Do you really think it was the location?”

“Kit.” Ryann didn’t know what to say.

“You could have returned at any time and you didn’t.”

Kate nodded. She would have to answer the question now to stop more of them. She couldn’t lie. Ryann would see through a quick un-thought-out answer. Circumstances had forced her decision to return. There was no denying that, more so than even Ryann knew. “I don’t know.”

Ryann looked at the floor but not quickly enough for Kate to miss the hurt look. Kate’s heart clenched. She thought hard. “Leaving your family, which had become my family, was the hardest thing I have ever done.” She smiled, more to herself than anything. “Having you as a pain in my neck was like having my sister back. I don’t think that I could have stayed away again.”

Ryann rose and walked to stand face to face with her. “Don’t ever leave like that again, okay?”

Kate swallowed hard. “Never again of my choice,” she agreed.

They hugged. Ryann kissed her forehead. “Now to bed before mom comes up here and yells at me.

            Bryant angrily shoved his hand through his hair. Every time, why did this have to happen every time? “Fine,” he said in a harsh tone. He slammed the phone down on the receiver. “Aaah,” he growled.

            Ryann walked around the corner. “Was that just a growl I heard?”

            Bryant didn’t answer. His look was not one of happiness. He was surprised to see her. She had been avoiding him since he had kissed her. He looked behind her, but no one was there. “No shadow today?” he asked gruffly.

            Ryann did a combination shake of the head, sigh, and shrug. “Nope, my shadow and I have issues, much like Peter Pan and his.”

            Bryant studied her. “I see. You just have relationship issues all over the place, don’t you?”

            Ryann wasn’t daunted but she was instantly irritated. “I see that you have recurring attitude problems yourself.”

            He sat back in his chair and stared at her. It was a match of wills and he was just as skilled as her at this game. “What are you here for anyway? I thought that you were avoiding me.”

            Ryann ignored the last statement. “I came to read the profiling on Mr. X.”

            He leaned forward. “I see. Why would you think I would let you? If I recall, you’re not an officer of the law.”

            “No, I’m just skilled at outdoing one.” She leaned forward onto his desk. “But since you are in such a fowl mood, I’ll leave and try back later.” She straightened up. “I’ll leave you to bask in your male chauvinist backsliding.” She turned and abruptly left the room.

            Bryant watched her walk down the hall. He swore under his breath. “Fine,” he said to himself and through his paper weight at the visitor’s chair. “Just go.” He looked up at her again as she stepped into the elevator. “Crap!” He ran out of his office.

            Ryann was working herself up more and more as she exited the building. She had a few more choice words that she would like to relay to him at the moment but contained herself from going back. She stopped short as she rounded the corner. He was leaning against her car. She took a soothing breath and started for the car. She took out her keys to unlock the door, ignoring his presence.

            He reached down and stopped her hand just before the key went into the lock. “I’m sorry,” he said softly. Ryann stepped back and crossed her arms. “Look, I know that there’s no excuse, but I really am sorry.” She stood silent waiting for an explanation. He sighed and leaned against the car. “There are just some people who rub you the wrong way, no matter how determined you are to not let them.”

            “I’m so glad that I could fit in that category,” Ryann bit.

            “You don’t,” he said with a look that told her not to be silly. “I had just gotten off the phone with my father. The man infuriates me to no end. Sometimes it takes me a day to get back to normal.”

            Ryann understood, but she was still mad. “Okay, I understand. Bygones.”

            His eyes narrowed at that. He was beginning to hate that phrase. “No, no bygones. I feel like a jerk. Have you eaten yet?” Ryann looked at her watch. It was getting late. She shook her head no. “Let me take you out, my treat.”

            She shook her head no. “I don’t think so.”

            “Come on. If you don’t let me I’ll feel like a jerk for the rest of the night,” he pleaded.

            “I thought you were trying to convince me to go with you,” Ryann teased with an edge.

            “Let me buy you supper,” he insisted.

            “You know, it’s not necessary. I’m alright.”

            “Please, let me do this. Don’t make me resort to more serious measures.” Her face remained hard. “Okay, you asked for it.” He poked out his lower lip and made one of the most pathetic and adorable puppy dog faces that Ryann had ever seen. It even rivaled her son’s and Jance had been a master.

            Despite her resolve to give in, Ryann couldn’t help but laugh. “Okay, okay, put it away.” She shook her head and a grin appeared on her face. “That’s just not fair. You should not be allowed to use that.”

            A large smile crossed his face. “You forced me to.” He motioned to his car. “Let’s take mine and I’ll bring you back to pick up your car later.”

            “Okay,” she agreed.

            He drove them to the Rose Bed, which was owned by some friends of her parents. It was a nice restaurant and not exactly cheap. “I guess you really do feel bad.”

            He nodded in agreement. “It’s probably also the only time that I’ll ever get you to agree to go out with me, so I thought I better make it a good one.”

            She waited quietly to see if he would be presumptuous to order for her. He looked over the menu. “Did you want any wine or anything? I’m not a big drinker, but I do upon special occasions.”

            Ryann ignored the implement. “I don’t drink often either but I’m more of a wine cooler drinker than a wine drinker. I can’t stand the stuff.”

            He laughed. “It is rather un-tasty. Though I have had good wine before but don’t know what it was, so that doesn’t help much.” He looked at the menu. “I think I’ll just have some iced tea.”

            The waiter walked over to take their order. Bryant waited for Ryann to order first, and then relayed his choice. He handed the menu over and focused on Ryan. “So, what’s been going on in your life?” he asked.

            She told him about her problems with Jenny and Denver. He empathized but didn’t have any advice for her. He couldn’t handle his own family, let alone anyone else’s. They moved on to talk about Ryann’s base. “I’ve decided to turn it over to the FBI of all places.” She informed him. “I wanted to be a soldier like my dad since I was a kid. That idea quickly vanished when I,” she hesitated looking for the right words, “became more feminine. The WTCU was a perfect retreat for me. I could hide and still feel that small connection to my dad, even though I wouldn’t acknowledge it. I feel sad leaving that world but it’s not my world anymore.” She thought about the women she was leaving behind and suddenly remembered who she was talking to. “I’m very proud of the women there and I’m glad they found a place they can thrive.”

            “You should be proud. Those are remarkable women. They’ll have a lot of challenges and politics to overcome. The world is changing though. Maybe even just ten years ago you would not have been successful. In ten years,” he shrugged, “it will probably be common place. That’s both good and bad.”

            Ryann studied him closely to see where his beliefs were coming from. She decided that he wasn’t being male chauvinist, he was being practical. Whether women of the age liked it or not, God had designed women as help mates. “It’s hard finding a comfort zone between God’s word and the worlds expectations for women.” She said thoughtfully.

            He nodded, “That it is. Sometimes I have a hard time with it just for the fact that I’m afraid I’m acting like my father. I have more respect for women now than I have ever had in my entire life, but I also know what God says that the roles of women and men should be. It’s a hard line not to cross over either way.” He took a sip of his iced tea. “So,” he asked casually. “How did you get into my base?”

            Ryann laughed. “On my belly, of course.”

            “I see. You turned snake, did you?”

            Ryann took a bite of her fajita. “All the way. Unfortunately I did have to kill a few men but that’s war for you.”

            As the meal came to an end Ryann had to admit that she had enjoyed herself. Bryant was easy to talk to and the two chattered on all the way back to her car. He parked next to her car and walked her the few steps to the door. “Thank you for letting me redeem myself tonight.”

            She turned to face him. “You’re welcome. It was fun.”

            Silence crept in. He stepped towards her. Quickly Ryann stepped away, bumping into her car behind her. “Goodnight, Bryant,” she said abruptly.

            “Goodnight,” he said roughly. He turned around and began walking to his car.

            Ryann stared down at the ground. Her heart was pounding. Why couldn’t he get the hint that she wasn’t interested in him that way? She turned to open the door but her hand was shaking. Why did he have to do this to her? She turned around to see if he had gone. He was standing directly in front of her. “What do you want?” She had meant to bark it out in a protest, but it came out as a choked whisper.

            He studied her for a moment, taking the time to figure out what he wanted to say. “I know that you loved your husband, Ryann. But he’s gone. He’s not coming back. You need to put that part of your life behind you.” He insisted.

            “Who are you to presume that you know what I need,” Ryann exploded. “Don’t presume that you know me, Bryant Kacie. You don’t. You have no idea who I am or what I want.” She asserted. “One stolen kiss at a club does not make you the authority on my life.”

            “It told me all that I needed to know.” He stepped in and kissed her. She resisted, but she felt weak. Her strength just seeped out from her body. He kissed her until finally she responded and then he leaned back. He grabbed her hand and put it flat to his chest. “Now tell me that your heart is not pounding as mine is. Tell me that your body isn’t shaking from the emotions of that kiss.” He let go of her hand. She wanted to move it, but was powerless under his gaze. She didn’t like that one bit. “You can deny it all you want, Ryann, but you are attracted to me and furthermore I believe that you have feelings for me.”

            She took a series of steadying breaths. Then, looking up at him, she shoved him away from her. “Get this through your head, Kacie. I’m not interested in a relationship with you. You don’t know me and if I have anything to say about it, you never will.” She turned, opened her door and got in locking it behind her. She started the car and left without giving him another look.

            Bryant watched the car until she drove out of sight. Why did he do that? Why did he keep pushing her? He knew that she didn’t respond well to it, but when faced with her, he let reason fly out the window. He had been told that she and David had started out bumping heads but it had been different than this. David, he had learned, had been calm and controlled. Ryann had brought out his contradictive side, and after they had gotten married, he had brought out her calm and controlled side. Bryant wasn’t like David. He liked to let loose and have fun. He needed to be wild every once in a while. Sometimes he needed to argue to let out steam. Sometimes he needed to argue just for the fun of making up. He was the type to let loose and howl at the moon upon occasion, no matter how odd it made him look. Ryann made him want to do that. She made him want to dance and run and jump. She made him feel excited and happy. It really bugged him that he just made her run away in an agitated fit. He sighed heavily feeling tired and defeated. “Okay, Ryann, have it your way. I’ll back off.” Rather than get in his car and go home, he went back up to his office to get some more work done. He wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight anyway.

            Ryann pulled over a few blocks down. She was so angry that she couldn’t see straight. Her body was reacting to his kiss more than she wanted to admit to even herself. “Why? Why can’t he just leave me alone? Why can’t he accept my friendship and leave it at that?” She rested her head on the steering wheel. Why did she tremble at even the thought of him touching her? The intruding thought surprised her. It was anger. He was being presumptuous and that annoyed her. Is that what that shiver down your spine is, annoyance? She shook her head. “Stop it, I do not have feelings for him, and I never will!” She waited until she had calmed down and then drove home.

            She was still on edge when she got home but she tried to hide it. When she walked in the house she heard voices in the kitchen. They were planning the barbeque. She walked to the fridge and took out a pop. She opened it and took a drink before saying anything. They were all looking at her. “What?” she asked.

            Josey was eyeing her closely. “You walked in here with the grace of a caged cat. Are we a little agitated at someone?”

            So much for hiding it. She took another drink. “A little, yes.” She looked around. “Where’s Kit?”

            “Upstairs sleeping. She gets tired out pretty easy,” Lorna answered. “Are you okay?” she asked.

            “I’m fine, mom.” She smiled reassuringly. “Some people just push my buttons.” She stopped short when she realized that she had just looped him in the same category as he put his father. In all truth, she wouldn’t put him in that category at all, at least not anymore. He just had a way of getting her riled, not driving her literally mad. “I’m going to go check on Kit.”

            She walked upstairs and found Kate lying on her side on the bed looking through a photograph album at pictures of them when they were younger. Ryann smiled at the sight. Kate looked good pregnant. “How are you feeling, sweetie?”

            Kate looked up. She looked rather content. “Fine, I feel better after my nap.”

            “This baby is wearing you out, huh?”

            A strange look covered Kate’s face but quickly faded away. Her eyes had grown so distant for a moment and almost fogged over. Ryann walked over and sat on the bed. “Are you okay, Kitty?”

            She rolled over onto her back and looked up at Ryann. “I’m not sure I could be any happier at the moment than I am now.” She glanced around the room. “I don’t know how I can ever thank you for all of this.”

            “Kit, my home was always open to you and always will be. I love you, you know.”

            Kate grinned. “I do know. Thank you.”

            Ryann leaned over and kissed her cheek. “No, thank you. I missed you after you left. It didn’t feel right without you here.”

            “I missed you too.” She turned and started flipping the pages. She stopped mid page. “Do I smell cologne?”

            Ryann stood up off the bed. She sniffed around and smelled it to. It must have rubbed off on her when he kissed her. “Must be in your head,” she lied.

            Kate sat up with a rather evil grin on her face. “You’re lying!” she accused in astonishment. “Where have you been?”

            Ryann had never been able to get away with anything where Kate was concerned. She had two choices, tell her the truth or say she didn’t want to talk about it. She may as well save the time and energy and skip the pleading and probing and just tell her. “I went to see Bryant.” She gave in.

            “Bryant Kacie. Why?”

            “I was antsy for some reason or other and Jim had told me that they had a profiler make a report on the man who’s posting the pictures on the net, so I thought that I would go and read it.”

            “What happened,” she asked quite interested.

            “We got in an argument and then he apologized and asked me to let him buy me supper to make up for it.”

            “Continue,” Kate encouraged.

            “There’s not much to say,” Ryann said.

            “Another lie, what is going on, Ryann?” Kate asked. “Do you have feelings for him?”

            “No!” Ryann insisted. “I do not.” She sat down on the other bed. “He just annoys me.”

            “What happened?”

            “We had a nice dinner. We talked about what was going on in our lives. He dropped me off and that’s the end of it.”

            “That is the third lie that you’ve told me in three minutes. You do like him.” Kate found this highly interesting and amusing.

            “No, I don’t and stop saying that.” She shook her head. “He kissed me,” she admitted.

            “He kissed you?”

            “Yes.”

            “Was it nice?”

            “That’s not the point,” Ryann insisted.

            “It wasn’t a good kiss?”

            “It was fine. It doesn’t matter.”

            “Just fine?”

            Ryann stood up exasperated. “Fine! It was great. I thoroughly enjoyed it both times but it doesn’t matter because I don’t have feelings for him!”

            “Both times, huh. So it’s happened before?”

            Ryann sighed annoyed and sat down again. “Yes, at the club. Josey dared me to dance with him, we danced and he kissed me.”

            “What did you do?”

            “I left the club. Then after I had cooled off I talked to him and told him it was okay. We were caught up in the moment, bygones.” Ryann explained.

            “Bygones.” Kate knew Ryann probably better than most. She could read her friend quite well. “Interesting,” she said under her breath.

            Ryann heard. “No, not interesting. There is nothing going on, Kit. End of story.”

            Kate decided to drop the subject for now. “Okay, so what would you like to talk about?”

            Ryann leaned back against the wall. “You wouldn’t want to let me in on what you’re keeping from me, would you?”

            Kate didn’t respond for a moment. She should have known that Ryann could read her just as well. “Not now,” she responded quietly, “Soon.”

            Ryann accepted that. She would give her the time and space that she needed. “You ready for this barbeque?” she asked.

            Kate shrugged. “It will be nice to see everyone again. Course you know who I would really like to see.”

            “Beth.”

            “Yeah.”

            Ryann nodded in agreement. “She should be home within the next few weeks, I’m told.”

            “Does she know that you’re back?”

            “No,” Ryann answered.

            “What are you going to do?” Kate asked.

            “I don’t know but there has to be a way to get through this.”

           

            Reaching out her right arm she pressed the doorbell lightly. She wasn’t sure why she was there. Denver had said that they wouldn’t be back until next week. Curiosity had brought her out this way. Teri had told her where they lived and Ryann had wanted to see the place. She had nothing better to do so she jumped in the car and headed out. She was going to give the place a look over and then go. Even now standing at the front door, she wasn’t sure what had possessed her to get out of her car and ring the bell. It didn’t really matter, they weren’t home.

            Ryann took a step back and looked at her surroundings. The neighborhood had shaped up since she had last been here. It wasn’t a hovel before but it wasn’t quite the rich neighborhood either. It was obvious that some development team had come in and gave the area a face lift.

            This new man of hers must have some money. Of course he seemed the type. He was a doctor after all. He offered his assistance over seas when he was able. They were in Africa at the moment. It had been a partial honeymoon trip from what Ryann had been told. It was a three month long honeymoon to boot. It was a long time for Denver and Tyra to be apart but Denver knew what kind of opportunity this would be for Tyra and had agreed to let her go.

            Ryann closed her eyes and felt the sun light on her face. She was being silly. She should just go home. She took a step off the porch but stopped when hearing the door knob turning. She looked at Elizabeth in surprise.

            “Can I help you?” Elizabeth asked.

            Ryann stepped back up onto the porch. She slowly progressed towards the door and slid off her sunglasses as she walked. “Hi, Lizzy.”

            Elizabeth’s eyes widened in surprise. “Ryann?”

            Ryann smiled and shyly looked down at her sunglasses in her hands. “Yeah, the one and only.” She grinned up at Elizabeth but the grin quickly faded as she saw the guarded look arise in her eyes.

            “Wow, it’s been a while.”

            Ryann nodded. “That it has.”

            “A lot has changed,” she stepped back and motioned for Ryann to come in, “Come on in.”

            Ryann did as directed and took a good look around at the house. It wasn’t hard to figure out that the new husband was rather wealthy. He also had a tendency to bring home what looked to be major souvenirs. There were artifacts all over. Most were high up out of the reach of an overactive young girl. “Did your husband already live here or did you both move in after the wedding?”

            Elizabeth didn’t answer for a short moment. “Tyra and I moved in with him. Why do you ask?”

            Ryan shrugged. “It just doesn’t look a whole lot like you, but you haven’t really had the chance to add your touch to the place yet.”

            “Maybe I’ve changed, Ryan.”

            Ryan sighed. “Lizzy, you don’t need to be on defense with me. I didn’t come here to attack.”

            “Why are you here?” She folded her arms across her chest as a barrier. She could see the change in Ryann but she didn’t know what it meant to her.

            Ryann covered the distance between them and got right up in Elizabeth’s face. “When did I ever give you the idea that our friendship was conditional on your relationship with my brother?” Ryann patted her cheek. “You were my friend before and during, what makes you think that I would forsake your friendship after?”

            Elizabeth looked into Ryann’s eyes for sincerity and found it. “It’s been a long time, Ryann.”

            Ryann agreed. “Yes, it has,” she repeated, “but I’ll always love you, Beth. We all care about you.”

            Beth turned away and wiped at a tear. “I just don’t know where to go from here or how to go on from here.”

            Ryann laughed. “Funny you should bring that up.”

            Beth shook her head slowly. “What are you up to, Ryann?”

            “It’s time to move on, n’est pas?”

            “Oh no, you’re speaking French. Ryann, I don’t know if I can take your schemes.”

            Ryann gawked. “Schemes! I’m insulted.”

            Beth shook her head and moved deeper into the living room. “This isn’t easy.”

            Ryann walked up behind her. “Look how easy this can be.” She opened her arms. “I’ve finally come home, Beth, in more ways than one. By the grace of God I’ve faced my demons and I don’t even get a hug from my childhood buddy.”

            Beth stood in silence. She remembered the last time she had seen Ryann. It had broken her heart. She had never seen Ryann so cold and distant. She had wanted to reach out then and give her friend a hug but had been too afraid to. It was a regret she had carried with her since the day Ryann left. Was this her second chance? A tear rolled down her cheek that she desperately wanted to wipe away but she would have to move and she didn’t think that she could. Ryann was offering more than a hug and Beth knew it. She was making a bridge back to the family that Beth desperately missed.

            Beth looked down at the floor. She had a new family now and she couldn’t jeopardize that family for anything. “I can’t, Ryann.”

            Ryann saw and understood the struggle. “Okay, Beth, it’s okay.” She looked around. “Where’s the rugrat?”

            “She’s out in the back. Paul had a park installed while we were gone as a surprise.” She wiped the tears away while Ryann’s back was turned to her. “She should be coming in any minute.”

            Ryann was a little nervous about seeing Tyra. Would a young girl understand what a group of adults couldn’t? They both heard the back door open as if on cue. Ryann braced herself for her niece’s reaction.

            Tyra calmly came around the corner and stopped short when seeing that there was company. She looked Ryann over carefully before delivering a squeal of delight and heading their way in a dead run. Ryann ducked down and swooped her niece up and around. She held onto her tightly and worked on composing herself.

            Beth’s eyes filled up with tears again at the sight. She had observed the looks on both of their faces as they saw each other. It was a beautiful reunion and she was happy that she had been able to see it. In truth, she had wanted to react the same way her daughter had but the adult world and all its many complications had made her react in a totally different manner.

            Tyra rambled off at a hundred miles per hour and Ryann made sure to keep up with her. She heard all about their trip and all of the activities Tyra had been able to be a part of. Ryann was impressed and said so. Tyra’s face shined at the praise and attention she was getting from her long lost aunt. “Oh, I wanna show you my souvenirs! They’re up in my room.”

            “Okay,” Ryann agreed.

            The front door opened as they headed for the stairs. “Oh, hi, Paul!” Tyra ran and gave him a hug. He scooped her up in his arms and Ryan couldn’t help but be a little jealous for her brother’s sake but she hid it well.

            “Honey, I’d like to introduce you to someone.” Beth was nervous. “This is Ryann.”

            He looked at Ryann in surprise. “Thee Ryann?”

            Ryann laughed, not sure what to make of the comment. She reached her hand out and shook his. “I guess you could say that.”

            Paul set Tyra down. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

            “Honey,” Beth said to Tyra, “why don’t you run up and tidy your room before Ryann comes up. She might be frightened when she walks in.”

            Tyra knew that she was being dismissed but allowed it. “Okay,” she ran up the stairs. “Don’t be too long!” she called out to Ryann.

            Ryann smiled at her nieces antics. “Wow, she’s grown up.”

            Beth heard the sorrow in Ryann’s voice and wanted to comfort her but held back. “She’s still got more to do,” was her only effort.

            Ryann turned to the two newly weds. “Okay, here’s why I came.” she decided to just get it out. “We’re having a family and friends Bar-B-Q and we want you to come.”

            “Ryann,” Beth started to protest.

            “Now, before you shoot me down, listen for a moment.” Ryann smiled at her. “Yes, it will be a little awkward but it’s best we just get that over with now. You know how bad Denver and mom and Walter want to see Tyra and you. They’d all like to get to know this guy here too. I think it would be good for everybody.”

            Beth turned away from Ryann. Paul took her hand and pulled her to him. Ryann backed off and gave them some room. “You know you miss them, they’re your family.” Paul said to her.

            “You’re my family.”

            “Yes, but they’re not dismissing me from the invitation.” He kissed her cheek. “The first thing I remember you saying about Ryann was how much you wanted to run up and give her a hug. It’s your chance, baby. It will be awkward but she’s right. It will be better for Tyra if we can find some way to all be friends.”

            Beth sighed. “I just don’t want you to be hurt, Paul. I divorced Denver. That includes his family.”

            “No, honey, it doesn’t, not if you don’t want it to and they don’t want it to. You’re with me now. If they try to change that we’ll back off but until then we can give it a chance.”

            She searched his eyes. “Are you sure, Paul?”

            He kissed her. “Yes, ma-am.”

            “Thank you.” She turned to Ryann. “Okay, I guess we can come.”

            Ryann sighed. “Well, there is a condition.”

            Beth’s defenses went up but Paul could see the playfulness in Ryann’s eyes. He wasn’t sure how Beth missed it. Beth had often told him of Ryann before and after her tragedy. He couldn’t help but want to know the woman that Beth had spoken of. Now that he was face to face with her, he found himself trusting her. “What’s that?” he asked.

            “Well Tyra mentioned earlier that you bought a really big grill because you were a championship barbequer. We could always use a good man behind one of the grills.”

            Paul laughed. “You’ve got it.”

            Beth teared up yet once again. “Oh, Ryann.” She gave in to her emotions and ran to Ryann.

            Ryann was ready and waiting. She opened up her arms and gave Beth a bear hug. “Hey, Lizzy, you’re in my heart.”

            Beth nodded in agreement. “I’ve missed you, Ryann Kodi.”

            “Same to you.” They hugged again.

            Ryann spent the remainder of the evening spending some quality time with her niece. They all agreed to make their entrance a secret so that Tyra could surprise her dad.