Ryann - Chapter 4

Not far away a woman woke up suddenly.  Something felt were wrong.  She couldn’t put her finger on what but she had an unsettled feeling. She got out of bed and walked over to the window.  She looked a few houses down but the house seemed calm and still with sleep.  She sat out the window and looked over the scenery. 

“Lorna,” her husband said from the bed, “it’s three in the morning.  Come back to bed.  I have to get up in an hour to leave for the Airport.”

Lorna smiled.  “I know.” She stood up to go back to bed that something caught her eye.  There was a cab making its way down the street.  She wondered where someone would be going at this time of night.  Walter had a flight to catch for D.C.  He had military business to attend to. 

“Are you coming?” Walter asked. 

“Yes,” she answered and then stopped.  The cab stopped in front of her home.  “Walter, someone’s here.”

Walter got out of bed to take a look.  They watched as someone stepped out of the cab.  “Whoever it is, is very drunk.” He said unimpressed.  “Probably Bill and Michelle’s kid.  That girl always comes home drunk.  Probably gave the guy the wrong address.” He headed for the stairs.  “She’ll probably realize that her key doesn’t work and shall take a better look at the house.”

“You’re going down?” Lorna asked. 

“Yes, just in case.”

Lorna followed him a step behind.  They were halfway down the stairs when they heard the key in the door.  They stopped, waiting to see what the person would do.  To their surprise, the key turned and the door opened.  A woman walked in, if you could call it walking.  She took a few haggard steps then stopped and looked up.  Lorna took a closer look at the intruder.  “Ryann?” she whispered. 

Ryann fell to her knees.  “Mama,” She stared up at her mother, the pain in her eyes revealed for the entire world to see.

“Ryann!” Lorna ran down past Walter and sunk down to her daughter.  Ryann crawled into her mother’s lap and clung to her as she let go inwardly and cried.  Lorna held on tight and stroked her daughters back “you’re home, you’re home.” Lorna felt a combination of emotions.  She was happy to have her daughter home but she had seen the pain in her eyes and it broke her heart. 

Walter stood and watched mother and daughter clinging to one another.  He wondered for a moment if he was dreaming.  He knew he wasn’t though, he had seen it too and emotions that deep and strong had never ran in his dreams.  He finally stepped down off the stairs and walked around to shut the door the rest of the way.  He wasn’t sure how much time passed as he stood there watching.  After awhile, he took a few steps closer and reached down to pick Ryann up out of his wife’s lap.  Ryann said nothing.  She just reached her arms around his neck and buried her face in his chest.  She was crying silently now, her tears wetting his shirt.  

“What are you doing?” Lorna asked. 

“Taking her to her room,” He answered. 

He laid her on her old bed.  Lorna climbed on after her and Ryann laid her head in her mother’s lap.  Lorna stroked her daughter’s hair while she watched Ryann cry herself to sleep.  Three houses down the phone rang.  Drowsily and still half asleep, a woman answered.  “Hello,” she managed. 

“Hi, Teri.  How are you?”

“Dad?” Teri asked, still not awake. 

 “Yes, it’s me.” He answered. 

“It’s,” she looked at the clock, “almost four in the morning,” she told him. 

“I know,” he said.  “I’m about to leave for the Airport.”

“That’s right; you’re going to D.C. aren’t you.”

“Yes,” he answered. 

“So what do you need?” she asked, fighting to keep her eyes open. 

“I wondered if you could come over and be with your mother,” he asked her. 

“She stayed alone before,” Teri spoke.  “What’s wrong?” She sat up, suddenly worried.  “Is mom okay?”

“She’s fine, Teri,” he answered. 

“Then what’s wrong?” she probed. 

“Nothing, now don’t get upset,”  he told her.  He paused, hoping this wouldn’t get her riled.  “Ryann’s home.”

Instantly Teri was fully awake.  “What did you say?”

“I think you heard me.”

“Yes, I just needed to hear it again,” she said, “just to make it real.”

“It’s real, Teri.  I’m going to call the others but then I have to leave.  If you don’t think you should …” He didn’t get a chance to finish. 

“I’ll be over in a few minutes,” she interrupted.  She hung up and began to get dressed. 

“What’s going on?”

“I have to go over to mom and dads,” Teri answered. 

“It’s something wrong?”

“My sister’s home,” she paused.  Those words sounded foreign as though she’d never thought she would hear them.  “Ryann is home.” She resumed with getting dressed. 

“Oh,” he said.  His voice was emotionless. 

Teri shot him a displeased look. 

“Do you have to go now, can’t it wait till morning?” he asked.  “I think you should stay. I don’t want you to get upset.”

She gave him another displeased look. “Tel, she’s my sister. I need to go to her.” She shook her head. “If you don’t want me upset, stop upsetting me.”

Tel sighed. “Okay,” he started to get out of bed.

“No, stay,” she told him. “You have to get up in a few hours to go to work. The others will be there. I’ll see you later tonight.” She leaned over the bed and kissed him. “okay?”

He nodded, clearly unhappy about the situation. “Okay.”

“I’ll see you later,” she kissed him again. Grabbing her jacket she headed out the door. The rain had stopped a while before. The air held that fresh fragrance that only exists after a good rain. Teri didn’t notice. She walked as fast as she could manage without actually speeding into a jog. She ran in and met Walter on the stairs. “Where is she?”

“In her room,” he answered.

She walked past him and made her way to Ryann’s room. She froze in the door way. “Mom?”

Lorna looked up. “Hi, Teri.” She carefully lifted Ryann’s head and moved off the bed. She walked over and gave Teri a hug. “Stay with her, I’m going to go see Walter off.” She grabbed a trash can and handed it to Teri.

“What’s this for?” Teri asked.

“She’s a bit intoxicated. I have a feeling she’s going to need this soon.” She kissed her daughter on the cheek. “I’ll be back.”

Teri slowly made her way to the bed. She lowered down to her knees. “Ryann,” she whispered amazed. She reached out and touched her sister’s face lightly. “Oh, Ryann.” She brushed her fingers through Ryann’s hair.

Ryann stirred lightly. Teri pulled back and watched. Remembering her mother’s warning, Teri grabbed the trash can and put it near Ryann. Ryann awoke and sat up a little. Her color was on the green side of the spectrum and Teri waited for what she was certain to happen. She was ready when Ryann leaned over.

My word, how much did you drink? Teri wondered to herself. She handed Ryann a facial tissue to wipe her mouth. Ryann did so, and then leaned back against the wall. She didn’t have a head ache but her stomach felt awful. This is why common sense says drinking is bad. She sought out her mother and was surprised to see her sister in her place.

Teri stood absolutely still, waiting. She searched Ryann’s eyes and saw nothing. She closed her own eyes, in pain. She couldn’t take this again. Had Ryann come back just to block them out again? Was she to continue to lose her sister over and over again? She couldn’t handle this. She tried not to let it get to her but it was a struggle. She opened her eyes and saw Ryann’s hand outreached. When Ryann touched her she had a sudden sharp intake of breath. She looked up at Ryann once more. This time she saw, “Oh, Ryann.” She pushed herself up and leaned into Ryann. They held tight to each other, the tears flowing again from both.

“I’m so sorry, Teri,” Ryann whispered in her ear, “I’m so so very sorry.”

Teri leaned back so she could see Ryann’s face.  She touched her cheek, still wondering if it was all a dream.  Perhaps she would awake or perhaps it would be short lived.  She let her hand go limp, her fingers trailed down Ryann neck, her hand coming to rest on Ryann’s knee. 

Ryann put her head back against the wall and took a deep breath.  “mmn,” She smelled the alcohol, “do I have any clothes here?”

“Anything that you’ve left,” Teri answered.  In actuality she knew every piece of clothing that Ryann had in her room.  She had gone through them many times, recounting events where Ryann had worn them, smelling them for her sent. 

Ryann stood up and walked to the dresser.  She grabbed some clothing.  “Guess it wouldn’t hurt to clean up,” she said. 

Teri nodded.  “What did you drink, anyway?” she asked. 

Ryann paused.  She stared at the wall and snapped out of it and grabbed the clothes.  Before walking out the door she turned to Teri, “destiny.”

Teri sat silent and still.  She remembered. 

“Do you know what your sister bought, Teri?”

“No, what?”

“Destiny!”

“I didn’t say they were destiny. I said they had a destiny.” Ryann corrected. 

“Sorry, my mistake” David said seriously, a mischievous smile hidden behind his eyes. 

“What are they?” Teri asked. 

“They,” David started, “are two bottles of liquor.” He said in a phony British accent. 

Teri, surprised, turned to Ryann.  “You don’t drink.”

Ryan smiled.  “Oh I’m trying to start,” She teased. 

“Ha, ha,” Terry struck back. 

“I know that I don’t drink,” Ryann told her.  “I was just standing there and they caught my eye.  I picked them up and just didn’t set them back.  I guess someday they’ll have a very specific use and I figured I had to buy them.”

Teri nodded n understanding.  She sat silent as if in thought, and then leaned forward and spoke, “you are a nut.”

Ryann laughed.  “That’s what David said.”

“Great minds think alike,” she said.  “It just goes to show that we’re right.”

Lorna walked in and saw Teri on the bed alone.  “Where is she?”

“Taking a shower,” Teri answered. 

Lorna nodded.  “I thought I heard running water.”

Teri looked upper her mother.  “What do you think happened?”

Lorna shrugged.  “I don’t know,” she answered, “something drove her to drink.  I don’t think that she ever touched the stuff even after it first happened.”

“Why now?”

“Obviously something penetrated that wall she built.  From the looks of it, penetrated and crashed it.  Without that protection she couldn’t cope.” She sat down next to Teri.

“She was that the house when it happened,” Teri told her. 

Lorna looked over at her.  “She told you?”

Teri shook her head, “not exactly.  She told me what she got drunk on,” Terry answered.  “Remember the bottles that she bought.”

“Oh,” Lorna said sadly, “what a destiny.”

“Yeah,” Teri agreed. “What if she builds the wall back again?”

“We just can’t let her.”

Ryann walked into the room and stopped when seeing them both sitting there.  She leaned against the door frame and watched her mother and sister watching her.  It had been so long since she had seen their faces.  She suddenly wondered how she had existed without hearing their voices or looking into their eyes.  For a moment they were all content just to look at each other, no speaking just being able to see one another. 

Lorna caught Ryann’s eyes, “will you talk to us?”

Ryann took a few steps into the room.  “Yes,” she answered softly.  She looked over at them.  “I will.” She heard sounds behind her and turned.  She saw two young adults standing in the doorway that the last time she had looked had been rambunctious teenagers.  She felt both elated and sick to her stomach.  In the same instant, she was so happy to see them and sick for the time she had missed.  They stepped into the room obviously unsure of themselves.  They looked from their mother to their sister needing some type of permission to move.  They didn’t speak, they just stared. 

“Wow,” Ryann finely managed.  “Look at you two.” Her eyes rested on the boy first.  “Top!  Your hair is green!”

She got a reaction for the first time.  A large grin crossed his face.  “Isn’t that the color carrot tops are?” He looked rather proud of his hair. 

“I don’t believe that Walter let you get away with that.”

Top looked smug.  “I didn’t ask, and when he saw it he laughed and said it was quite fitting.”

She looked to the girl standing next to him.  Not meaning to, but pleased with the memory, she remembered seeing this girl for the first time in the hospital.  Her name was Hanna, yet when Ryann had first seen her all she could focus on was the fiery reddish orange hair on the top of her head. She had called her carrot and the name had stuck.  She was the first born of the twins.  Top came just a few minutes later.  After they’d gotten them home, they had laid them down on the floor by one another and top had managed to roll himself above carrot.  Teri had laughed and said he was a carrot top.  His nickname had also stuck.  “Hey, Carrot.”

“Hi, Ryann,” she said shyly. 

The twins split apart and standing before Ryann was the baby of the family.  For just a moment Ryann forgot how to breathe.  Feeling the effects of no oxygen, she took a sudden intake.  “Oh, wow,” she said.  “Look at you,” her eyes were transfixed on her youngest sibling.  She had glanced down at her hands and saw that they were shaking.  She clinched them to try and stop but it seemed that her whole body was shaking now.  “Hi, little one.”

Josey took a few steps forward.  “Ryann,” she said in response.  Ryann felt the distance there and knew it was her fault. 

She didn’t know what to do for the first time in a long time.  Her defense these last years had been to always have a physical response that hid the emotional pain and now there was nothing she could do.  She lifted her hand palm up toward her sister.  Josey, being outspoken and not too shy needed only this small gesture.  She stepped forward and threw her arms around Ryann’s neck.  Ryann held her tight.  It felt good and it took a little work not to cry.  Carrot and top joined the hug.  Teri and Lorna smiled at one another.  This was a good sign. 

Ryann felt a little faint. Josey felt her sway and led her to the bed. Top and Carrot followed and the group of them sat on the bed. They started asking her questions but no one was willing to ask what they all wanted to know. They were all afraid of saying the wrong thing and sending Ryann back into hiding. The room went silent for a while. Josey looked around to see if anyone was going to step up. Their eyes were all averted. Well if they wouldn’t, she would.

“So, Ryann,” she started, “what brings you to our neck of the woods?”

Ryann looked over at her. She could feel the underlying tone in her voice. She didn’t even know where to begin. What could she possibly tell them to make anything better? “I couldn’t run anymore. I couldn’t hide anymore. It was time to come home.” Ryann saw a look flash across the girls face. She read the message. It was time to come home long ago. “I also got a taste of my own medicine.” She stared off into the air. “It didn’t taste good.” She shook her head and refocused.

“Come again?” Josey pushed.

Lorna and Teri both smiled at Josey. The girl had little fear. She did what was needed.

“It’s a long story.”

“We’ve got time.”

Ryann smiled softly. Where did she start? “I made a friend against my will. It started quite rocky but somehow she got under my blockade. I slowly started to let down my guard just enough that when she confronted me about a magazine article she had been shown, I had to explain it.” They all knew what magazine article she was referring to. “She goaded me about it and I made a decision. We went to the house and I filled in the details. I really don’t know why or how I was able to after all this time, but she pushed me and I gave in. Her focus left the room and stopped on a memory. “She made me say his name,” she said distantly. They all knew exactly what she meant and how important it had been.

“What happened then?” Josey pushed a little more carefully this time.

Ryann crossed her arms and leaned back against the wall at the head of the bed. “She invited me to meet her family, her mom and grandmother.” She could feel the shock creeping in again. She could hardly believe herself what she was about to tell them. “I agreed but was wondering what in the world I was doing there.”

“A little too personal for you?” the slight sarcasm and anger unable to hide in her voice.

Ryann shrugged. “I believe Jenny put it as my having shut out reality for so long that any normal activity would throw me off.” Ryann smiled slightly thinking of her friend, a grimace followed. “I met her mother and talked to her for a while. Then her grandma came home and my world flipped upside down. My world,” she shook her head at herself. Would she always be this self-centered? “Jenny’s world was flipped upside down.”

“Why? What happened?”

Ryann checked her hands. They were still shaking. Was she going through withdrawals from her stone cold wall? “It was David’s grandma.”

Surprise and confusion showed on their faces. Ryann understood all too well. It was bizarre to say the least. “Jenny is David’s half sister.” No one spoke. They all waited for Ryann to go on. “She was understandably angry. She instantaneously gained and lost a brother and a nephew in a moment. Add that to the fact that no one ever told her and she had been lied to her whole life, well she didn’t react so well.”

“She held it against you?” Teri asked, reading between the lines.

Ryann switched focus onto Teri. “She accused me of using her to feel closer to David.” She ran her fingers through her hair. “I couldn’t deny that there was something unexplainable that drew me to her and now we both knew what. I tried to reassure her that she was my friend on her own merit. She didn’t go for it. She was so angry and hurt. I saw in her eyes the look I saw in my own eyes every time I looked in the mirror. I hated it from her side.” She looked apologetically at her family. “I hated it more from yours.”

“Something snapped,” she started again. “I could feel her pulling away and it felt like I was losing everything again. I couldn’t get those images out of my mind. She ran off and I ran to the house. I grabbed the only thing I could think of to make me forget. I remembered the bottles in the cupboard and I pulled them out and began to drink. I turned around and she was there. It was pretty much a repeat occurrence. She ran out and I broke down. I called a cab and came home.”

“This all happened last night?” Lorna asked. “You’ve had a long night.” Lorna stood up off the bed. “I’m going to go make breakfast.”

Teri stood up as well. “I’ll help.”

Lorna looked at the rest left there. “Why don’t you catch up,” she suggested.

Ryann watched them go and then turned to the twins. “I can’t even imagine what you’ve been up to.”

Top crawled further onto the bed so he could lean against the wall. Carrot did the same. She was the first to speak. “Just going to college.”

“How’s that going?”

Top shrugged. “It’s alright.”

“What’s next?”

Top answered the excitement noticeable in his voice. “I’m going to join the MCTU.”

Ryann smiled, “That would have been interesting.”

“Why?”

“We may have ran into each other. I’ve been asked to go and take a look at the program, see if improvements can be made,” she told him.

“Why you?” Carrot asked.

“Because,” Ryann explained, “I am the head of the WCTU.”

Tops eyes grew big. “Really!” Ryann nodded. “That’s awesome.” He couldn’t help but be proud that his sister was the head of the WCTU.

“Still, why you?” Carrot asked.

Ryann grinned. “Because after my division wiped the floor with them they had no other choice but eat crow and ask for my input.”

“I heard about that,” Top exclaimed. “Your unit captured the men’s unit and got an unconditional surrender! You crushed them!”

“We did well,” Ryann agreed modestly.

Lorna walked into the room. “It’s ready,” she announced.

“Mom! You’ll never guess where Ryann has been.” Top said.

Lorna smiled knowingly. “At the WCTU.” She grinned at their surprised looks. “You three go on ahead, we’ll be along shortly,” she dismissed them gently.

Ryann watched her siblings leave then looked back at her mother in question.

Lorna sighed. “Of course I knew. It was your father’s idea.”

Ryann agreed. “Yes, it was.”

“Daniel and you used to talk about it all the time. You were going to run one for the girls and your girls would beat his boys hands down.” She laughed. “He told you that he didn’t doubt it, and he didn’t. He told me later that night that if his girl ran a unit he knew they would rise above everyone’s expectations. They would crush anyone who came up against them.” Lorna sat down on the bed. “At the time I thought it was the unfounded and most likely unrealistic boasting of a proud father.”

“Thanks,” Ryann joked half-heartedly.

“It’s not that I didn’t think you could do a good job, I just figured there were too many obstacles to overcome. I was wrong. When I read how well you did, I went and told your father. I read him the article and confessed my mistake and apologized for doubting you both.” Lorna sighed. “Your father saw in you something that no one else could. The two of you had a bond I’ve never seen the like before or since. I just wished he had lived to see it come about.”

“I can’t believe you drove to the cemetery just to tell him that,” Ryann commented softly.

Lorna shrugged. “I was proud of you and knew your father would have been as well.”

Ryann grabbed a pillow and squeezed it to her chest. “What would he have done?” Ryann asked.

Lorna searched her daughter’s face. She knew what she referred to. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “He would have done something.”

“Would I have listened or reacted?”

Lorna sat thoughtful about that. “You wouldn’t have gotten far from us. He would have hog tied you and brought you home in an instant. He didn’t always care what was wise, whatever that may be, he just wouldn’t have let you go.”

“I’m sorry, mom,” Ryann apologized. The weight of what she had done to them was starting to come to her. She wanted to be sick again and this time not from alcohol.

“I know,” Lorna felt conflicted. So much time had passed and she wasn’t sure if everything could be fixed as quickly as her daughter needed it to be. “Are you hungry?” she asked.

Ryann shook her head. “No, my stomach is still unsettled.” She yawned.

“You haven’t slept much, maybe you should get some sleep,” she suggested. “I’ll come and check on you later.”

Ryann did as her mother suggested and lay down. To her surprise she fell to sleep easily. It was the first time she had a dreamless and pleasant sleep in a long time. When she awoke she saw someone standing at the window, arms crossed looking out at the scenery. Ryann watched her for a moment wondering what she was thinking.

“I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do,” Josey said.

“About what?”

Josey turned and looked at Ryann with such intensity it made her flinch. “About you,” she answered.

“I don’t know what to say,” Ryann choked out. She swallowed down the lump that rose in her throat. “What do you want?”

“Want?” She asked harshly. “I want you to know what you’ve done. Do you have any idea what you’ve missed?” She continued on without answers. “Denver will be here in a few hours. You should know that his divorce was finalized six months ago.”

Ryann grimaced. “They got a divorce?” She asked. “Why?” She wasn’t completely surprised.

Josey leaned back against the window frame. “They tried to have another baby. After failed attempts and two miscarriages, they couldn’t survive it.”

Ryann grimaced and took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “That’s too bad.”

“Yeah, it is. Denver is moving back to the area. Elizabeth and Tera are here at the old house. She’s on her honey moon right now. Tera went with them but Denver gave up his job so he could be close to his daughter and family when they get back.” She explained. “But why stop there. How about Teri?” Josey asked. “I don’t know if you happened to notice the ring on her finger.”

Ryann’s downcast head jerked up. “She’s married?”

“Yeah. He’s a great guy, doesn’t think too highly of you though. He spent forever trying to get Teri to accept his proposal. When he finally succeeded in that it took forever to get her to set a date.”

“Why?” Ryann asked. Josey raised her eyebrows in answer. “Oh,” Ryann figured it out. “She was waiting for me.”

“Yep,” Josey agreed. “He finally put his foot down and she finally realized she couldn’t keep doing that to him.”

“I see,” Ryann wanted to curl up and hide.

“Do you?” Josey accused. “There’s more. Did you even really look at her, Ryann? Was there anything you noticed or is your focus still too much on yourself? I would let her tell you herself but she’s terrified of how you’ll react. “

Ryann wasn’t sure what in the world she was trying to get out. What would Teri be terrified to tell her? The two could share anything. Granted Ryann was hard for them to approach right now but Teri could tell her anything…It struck her then. She had to admit she didn’t blame Teri. This was not easy and it should be. “She’s pregnant.” She could recall now the shape Teri had taken. Why hadn’t she realized it before? “Wow.”

Josey watched Ryann’s reaction carefully. She was hiding it well but she really was scared herself to how Ryann would take the news. Ryann looked surprised, perhaps a little sad. Josey couldn’t really read her. It saddened her. Ryann had never been unreadable before, not because she couldn’t hide but because she wouldn’t.

Ryann was lost in thought for some time. After a moment she looked up at Josey. “And what about you?”

Josey quickly turned her back. She wasn’t as good at hiding her feeling. “There hasn’t been anything much going on with me.”

“Nothing much?” Ryann said pushing herself up off the bed. She studied her sister’s form. “You graduated high school at the top of your class. Valedictorian isn’t too shabby. It’s pretty exceptional actually, as was your speech.”

Josey turned back just as quickly. “You were there?”

Ryann nodded. “Yeah, I saw it announced in the paper. I told myself that I couldn’t go, that part of my life was over. I still ended up at the school. I was really impressed with you.”

“I looked for you,” Josey admitted.

“I know,” Ryann said. “I noticed.”

“What am I supposed to do, Ryann? Is life to go on just like that?” She asked as she snapped her fingers. “At first I was sad. I understood that you were in pain. We all were. Then as time went by I became angry, angry for you having abandoned us and then guilt for the anger. Then anger for the guilt. I used to like roller coasters, having been on an emotional one I’m not so sure anymore. What happens now?”

Ryann said nothing at first. She just took a few steps to shorten the gap between them. Josey didn’t know what she was going to do. She was afraid that Ryann was going to give her a hug. Josey wasn’t ready for that right now. Initially she had been so happy to see Ryann she had just thrown her arms around her. Now, she just wanted to shake her. Ryann stepped up directly in front of her. In one swift movement she fell down to her knees and wrapped her arms around Josey’s waist and hung her head. “I’m so sorry, Josey. I’m so very sorry. I know what I did was wrong. I was selfish and angry. I have no right to ask and I don’t expect anything from you…Please forgive me.”

All the anger Josey felt vanished at Ryann’s humble plea. She put her hands in Ryann’s hair and tipped back her head so she could see her tear streaked face. “Just don’t do it again.”

Confusion and then a smile played over Ryann’s face. She hadn’t expected this. “Okay,” she agreed.

Lorna cleared her throat gaining the attention of the two girls. “Josey, why don’t you go down and get Ryann something to eat.”

“Like what?” Josey asked.

“I don’t know an apple or something.” Lorna pushed her out the door. She watched her disappear down the stairs. One down and four to go. She turned to Ryann. “I figured she would be the first to forgive and move on.”

“Really?”

“Yes,” Lorna pulled out the desk chair and sat down. She motioned for Ryann to sit on the bed across from her. “I told you that I had never seen a bond between any one like you and your father had. That’s true but the closest I have ever seen is between you and that girl. The moment she was born you proclaimed her your ‘little one’ and you two have adored each other ever since. In a way it was harder on her than anyone. You had always been there to lean on in everything and at the hardest time in all of our lives you weren’t there.” Lorna looked out the window. She couldn’t bear to see the pain that tale caused her eldest daughter and she couldn’t help but feel it was her own responsibility for that pain. Ryann had made the choice and it had devastated them all. “She had the greatest need to forgive. Just being angry at you hurt her just as much as you causing anger in the first place. She needed to let it go and you just helped her do that.” She looked at Ryann’s hands. They were shaking. Then she looked up at her face and saw the tears rolling down her cheeks. This was agony. This woman had been through such pain and the last thing anyone wanted to do was attack her. Yet issues had to be addressed for healing to begin.

“I made sure that Josey’s graduation announcement made it to you. I had hoped that it would get you there and maybe you would be ready to come home. I could tell the moment I saw you that the only thing that had changed was that you had become worse. I hardly saw any of my daughter in the person standing there. I wanted to run up to you and throw my arms around you and tell you to come home. I had a feeling that if I beseeched you, guilt might just kick in and you might comply.” She remembered the day well. She was just steps away from grabbing Ryann’s arm and twisting her around when she heard a voice, or she thought she had. “I swear that I actually heard a voice tell me to wait. I even looked around to see who had said it. There was no one. No one else had even noticed you there. I hesitated and you moved away. I nearly went after you but I felt that it wasn’t time yet.”

Ryann took this all in not sure what to make of it. “I didn’t know that you saw me,” she said sadly. “I’m sorry.”

“In the same way, I made sure that you heard no information on Teri’s wedding. I didn’t want you to show up and nothing to have changed. It would have been a disaster.”

Ryann couldn’t help but agree. “Yes, it would have.”

“We don’t mean to make you the villain.  We understood your pain and still do. We just wanted you to let us be a part of it.”

Ryann nodded. She understood that. “I honestly don’t know why I did it. I didn’t want to but it was as if I lost control and something else took over. I was too weak to fight it.” She knew there was more to it than that but wasn’t yet ready to admit her greatest error of all.

“Why now?” Lorna asked quietly. “Why let this girl in and not us?”

Ryann thought hard about this question. It was one she had herself. She knew what Jenny believed- that somehow she reminded Ryann of David and that is why she was accepted. “She was safe. There were no emotional strings. There was no conviction. I knew I was wrong and when I saw all of you, I felt that. She allowed me to hide all the while she got under my skin.” Ryann leaned her elbows on her knees and looked at the shapes in the blue carpet at her feet. “Still, I didn’t come home because I had to. I came home because I wanted to.” She looked at her mother. “I was ready to come home. Jenny just showed me that I was tired of the masquerade. I was ready to be home.” She chewed at her lip, a nervous habit she’d had all her life. “She just reminded me what it was like to be close and let myself just love someone. I missed that desperately. I missed all of you desperately.”

“I’m glad that you’re home.”

“Will things ever be okay again, Mom? Will I ever be able to make up for what I’ve done? I don’t know if I can handle it always being there between all of us.”

“If you’re looking for my forgiveness, Ryann, you have it.”

Ryann’s teeth clenched together tightly. She dragged in a sobbing breath. With more humility than she had ever expressed she looked into her mother’s eyes and gave her honest gratitude. “Thank you.”

Lorna stood and walked over to her daughter. “I love you so much, Ryann. I have missed you so much.”

“I’ve missed you too, Mom.” They held each other tight.

They heard someone in the hall. “That’s probably Josey. Try to eat whatever she grabbed for you. If it stays down, I’ll make you something better.” Lorna wiped the tears from her face and headed out of the room. She stopped and talked with whoever was out in the hall. Ryann recognized the voice. It was Teri, not Josey.  Ryann waited as Teri gathered the courage to walk through the door.

She felt a little fluttery still. She just couldn’t believe her sister was home after all this time. She almost felt like being sick. She couldn’t let herself get upset. She walked in and saw Ryann laying on the bed waiting for her. It felt so familiar. She had walked into this room many times to Ryann positioned just that way, looking at her just that way. For a split moment she was a kid again going to chat with her big sister and all was well. What if it wasn’t? She couldn’t help but wonder. What if her news ruined everything? She didn’t think she could stand it.

“Hey, Teri.”

“Hey,” she answered back. Teri tossed the apple to Ryann but stood a ways off. This was so hard.

Ryann studied her younger sister, wondering how much she had changed since she’d been gone. She had certainly been through a lot of changes. How did Ryann relieve her fears? “Do you remember when we were kids,” Ryann started. “I wanted so much to go to that Late Show that the school put on. Remember, the one where Josh Conner was going to be Johnny and Taylor Mayson was going to be a guest so was Doug and Stephanie. Remember that?”

Teri nodded.

“Do you remember what happened?”

Teri thought back. It was an odd conversation but she was glad of it. It gave her a chance to get her emotions together. “Umm, oh boy. That was a long time ago.” She pictured the time frame. “You came down with something, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, keep going.”
            “You couldn’t go, so I went in your place.”

“Do you remember if you liked it?” Ryann asked.

She did. “Yes, it was hysterical. They all did an awesome job and Kyle Timson was a surprise guest star as Eddie Murphy. It was great.”

“What happened afterwards?” Ryann prompted.     

Teri shrugged. “I came home.”

“And?”

She thought back to that night. “I didn’t want to tell you about it. I was afraid that you’d be mad that I got to go and you didn’t.”

“What did I tell you?”

What was she trying to get at? Teri wondered. “You made me tell you the whole show from beginning to end, every detail. You said that if there was something that you couldn’t have or do then the next best thing was for you to experience it through someone that you loved.” Teri froze. Did she know?

Ryann stood up and walked deliberately to her. “So, let me see it?” She knew that Teri had been shielding her left hand.

“What?”

Ryan cocked her head sideways and said nothing. She just moved her hand slightly to the left, grabbed Teri’s hand, and pulled it up to her. “Oh, that.” She had figured out she was married. How would she tell her the rest? She looked down at her baggy shirt. She had purposely put it on because it hid her condition.

Ryann glanced up at her sister then down at the rock on her hand. “It’s nice. Did you pick it out or did he?”

“He did.”

“He has good taste. If I’m still a good judge of character I’d say he understands your tastes quite well.” Teri nodded in agreement. “I hear he’s not too fond of me with good reason.”

Josey. Teri should have known. She sat down on the bed. She felt the need to defend her husband but no attack had been made. “He needed to blame someone and you were convenient.”

“Blamable,” Ryann suggested. 

“Perhaps, but it was my decision. You didn’t force me to make it. It was just hard for him to understand. He’s never lost anything, not even a pet. Death is just a word to him right now. He has never personally experienced it,” she explained. “Though he sympathized, he didn’t understand the amount of pain.”

“Where is he from?”

Teri smiled. “You’re wondering about the pet thing aren’t you?” Ryann shrugged. “It’s not so much where he was raised as much as who raised him. His parents were very wealthy and very stern. He was very sheltered. He told me that he’s only had two pets. He has the dog we have now and when he was younger he had a bird. One day he woke up and his parents told him that it was time for the bird to live on his own. That he had done a great job raising the bird and it was time for it to take care of itself.”

“How long did he have it?”

“Five years. He still believed that the bird had gotten out of its cage and somehow out of the house and flew away. I set him down and very gently said, ‘Honey, the birds dead. You’re parents found it first and dumped in the trash out back and told you that story so you wouldn’t be upset.’ He looked at me then jumped up and called his mom and dad.”

“You were right.”

Teri nodded. “Of course.” Teri’s face was lit up. She was having a good time talking about her husband to her sister. There were so many stories she had to tell. Ryann was being a great audience. Somehow Teri had thought that Ryann would listen but reluctantly. Looking at her sister, she saw that she had her full attention. She wanted to listen.

“What?”

“You’re really back.” It was said in mere disbelief.

Ryann somehow knew she didn’t mean just physically. Ryann looked down at her hands and chewed on her lip. If she kept this up it was going to start bleeding soon. “You want the absolute truth, Teri.”

“Yes,” she answered, though she was a bit terrified of it.

“I’m sitting here wondering how I ever lived a day without picking up the phone just to hear your voice. Listening to you, hearing about your life, it’s like I’ve been bleeding to death for all this time and I’m finally getting the transfusion that I need.” She looked up at her sister. “If you’ll have it, I want to know everything. Every detail, story, joke…everything. I want a play by play of everything that I missed.” She reached out and put her hand very protectively over Teri’s belly. She was further along than she’d thought. “Most of all I don’t want to miss out on a single thing from here on out.”

Teri gasped. She began to cry so hard that her body shook and her breathing was labored. Ryann quickly pulled her into her arms and rocked her. “I am the world’s biggest fool. I’m so sorry, love. I’m so sorry.”

Teri twisted around and threw her arms around her neck. “I love you, Ryann. I’m so glad you’re home.” She continued to sob and Ryann began to worry.

“Calm down, love. It’s okay.” She tipped her away just enough to look at her face. She took her fingers and pushed the hair out of Teri’s face and continued to stroke her hair. “It’s okay.”

Teri sniffled and forced herself to get control. “I’m sorry,” she simpered.

“No no, don’t you apologize to me for anything,” Ryann insisted. “No one has to apologize to me for anything for at least a good few years.” Ryann gave her some time to pull herself together. “I should have known,” Ryann admitted. “Now that I look, I can definitely see that mom look in your eyes. I just haven’t been seeing clearly for a very long time.”

“I know what you mean. I happened to look in a mirror just after I found out and I saw the same look on my face that I saw on yours when you told us about…” She stopped.

Ryann grabbed her hand and held it securely. “I’m sorry that I wasn’t there for you.”

Teri lifted her sister’s hand and kissed the back of it. “I’ve already forgiven you, Ryann. I’m just unsure how to proceed from here.”

“We’ll just get to know one another again. I suppose I’m going to have to get to know myself again along the way. I’ve been in hiding for so long I’m not even sure what I’ve become.” She squeezed Teri’s hand. “I’ve got a lot to make up for and I’ll need your help for one person in particular.”

Teri sighed. “I can’t deny that he’s a bit bitter. He’ll come around though.”

“How much does he really know?”

“He’s seen the articles. He knows the story but no one was ever to willing to talk to him about it and fill him in on details.”

 “Would it help?”

“Perhaps,” Teri said, “but who will volunteer.” She looked up at Ryann. “It’s still raw for every person in this family.”

“I made it impossible to heal.” She looked out of the window. It was a beautiful day. The sky was the clearest blue she’d noticed in a long time. Had she even looked up at the sky lately? “I didn’t want to heal. I wanted to hurt. Strange isn’t it, wanting to be in pain and at the same time trying to ignore it. I just didn’t want to deal with it.”

“No one did, you just took it to the extreme.”

There was a small tap at the door. Ryann’s heart leaped. “Denver!” She jumped off the bed and ran to him. He scooped her up in his arms and lifted her off her feet. Stepping into the room he found enough room to maneuver and spun her around before setting her down.

Teri stood up and gave her brother a hug as well. “It’s good to see you.” She turned to Ryann. “I need to go home. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Ryann looked out the window. It had been morning just a moment ago. Where had the day gone? “Okay, see you later.”

Denver and Ryann sat down and talked as if nothing had ever changed. Her brother was always quick to adapt and grow use to a situation. These two snapped into old routine instantly and it felt good to each.

“Josey told me about you and Beth,” Ryann started after the casual talk.

“Yeah, that’s not too surprising.” He sighed. “We just couldn’t make it work.”

“That’s one of the problems when you get married out of necessity rather than love,” Ryann commented softly.

Denver couldn’t hide his surprise. “You knew?”

“Yes,” she nodded. “I knew.”

“But how?”

You’re my brother, she was my friend, I just knew. I could tell by the look on your face the first night you two slept together. You hid it well but I know you.” Ryann explained. “You’re just lucky that Tyra was a small baby so you could pass her off as premature. Though I would guess mom and Walter know but have never said.”

Denver leaned back. “Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

Ryann shrugged. “I was waiting for you to be able to admit it. You and Beth seemed to be doing well. You were friends and loved each other, even if you weren’t in love. That’s a pretty good place to start. I hoped it would grow into more.”

Denver nodded. “It just wasn’t strong enough to handle disappointment after disappointment. Too many things had happened and we didn’t find solace in one another.”

“Do you wish that you had waited?”

“Yes, with the exception of Tera. I wouldn’t give up my little girl for anything.” He looked over at Ryann. “Do you ever regret waiting?”

“Never,” Ryann answered.

Carrot, Top and Josey walked in. They found places to sit around the room and made themselves comfortable. “What’s this?” Ryann asked.

Lorna walked in and made herself comfortable as well. “Now that Denver is back we want a detailed report on the life and times of Ryann Kodi. Out with it.”

“What about Teri?” Ryann asked.

“She expects to have you to herself tomorrow night for a one on one version of tonight.”

“Okay,” Ryann agreed. “What would you like to know?”

“Everything.”

Ryann nodded and with a deep steadying breath she got started. She told them about starting the W.C.T.U and all that was involved with that. She told them about the two people who kept her sane, first Doog helping her run the place and then meeting Jenny later. She tried to go into more detail with the story of Jenny. They talked well into the morning. She answered all their questions and by the time they were finished they knew everything she had done those years she was away, save one incident she omitted. Next they spoke of all that had happened in her absence. Ryann was pleasantly surprised on many accounts. There had been many rough times someone would have to stop and gather their emotions before they could continue talking. It wasn’t just an exchange of knowledge and past experience. They were getting to know one another again. They were leaning to be comfortable around each other and not to be afraid to say what was on each others minds. By the time morning light hit, the family was one again. It still wasn’t complete. There was still something missing that could be felt by each of them. For now it was enough for them to be together again.

When time finally permitted, Ryann and Teri had their one on one time together. Teri left her not so thrilled husband to fend for himself for one night. She had been unable to concentrate on anything since she had gotten the phone call. It was the only way to get back to normality. Teri had a lot of questions and Ryann forced herself to answer each of them as honestly as she could. They finally fell asleep the conversation tapering off into the night. When they awoke they picked up where they left off. Ryann was surprised how good it felt to just talk again. With the exception of Jenny and Doog, Ryann hadn’t really talked with anyone for a long time. It felt even better that she was talking with her sister.

“I think that I’m hungry,” Teri informed.

“Oh you think, do you?”

Teri nodded her yes, “but I’m too tired to get up. I need more than a few hours of sleep.”

“I don’t know why,” Ryann jested. She stood up. “What would you like?”

Teri thought for a moment. “Oh, you know what sounds really good right now?”

“What?” Ryan asked. When Teri told her, Ryann quite disagreed. “That doesn’t sound good at all. I didn’t have weird cravings when I was pregnant.”

Teri gave her a look that read two ways. First was uncomfortable surprise. She didn’t know how to react to speaking of the past after so much had happened. The second was an “are you kidding me” type of look. “Yes, you did.”

“Hmmph, not that weird,” Ryann countered. “You sure that’s what you want?”

“Yes,” Teri insisted.

Ryann shook her headed for the door in compliance. “If I didn’t know you were pregnant before, I sure do now.”

“Oh it’s not that weird.”

“Yeah, sure, whatever you say,” Ryann teased as she walked out the door. She head to the kitchen and started making the sandwich.

 Ryann set down the last pickle. A strange sensation crawled up her back and she had a strong sense of deja-vu. She turned slowly around and nearly dropped the knife onto the floor. Carefully she forced herself to set the knife on the counter. She leaned against the same counter for support. “Hello, Jenny.” She said in a soft whisper.

Jenny was amazed by the vulnerability she saw in Ryann. At the mere sight of Jenny, Ryann had shrunk down. Her eyes seemed so soft where they had once been stone. Jenny marveled at all she saw in the woman’s eyes. It wasn’t as though she had gotten better and dropped the wall. Rather, she had hit the opposite side of the problem. Now every emotion the woman felt flashed in her eyes for anyone to see. Where once her eyes had the ability to bore into someone with the intensity of a sledge hammer, now they were more vulnerable than a new born baby.

“This seems familiar,” Jenny said emotionlessly. “Only the substance seems strangely different.”

Ryann looked at the sandwich. “It’s a peanut butter, marshmallow cream and dill pickle sandwich.”

“Oh, of course it is,” Jenny said as though she were being silly.

Ryann smiled but the smile quickly faded leaving her with the explanation. “It’s not for me. It’s for my sister, my pregnant sister.”

Jenny nodded. “Right, Teri.” Ryann jerked in surprised. She had never mentioned any of her family before. Jenny read her thoughts as if they were her own. “I was always curious if you had any family. I figured that you might have one or two. I never imagined that you had five.”

Josey walked in from the opposite end of the kitchen and stopped short. She assessed the scene before her and took a step back. “Oh, I um have to go get…I have to,” she stopped, giving up, “yeah,” she turned and left by way she came.

Ryann learned a lot from the short encounter. Josey had not even asked who the visitor was. It was as if she already knew. Ryann looked back at Jenny who was watching her with a sense of amusement. Ryann looked at her in question.

Jenny started her story. “I was lying on a bed in my hotel room,” she set the scene, “it was still early and I had no desire to get out of bed. I forced myself up, took a shower, and got dressed. Having done that I lay back down on the bed. I had no where to go. I did everything that morning out of habit rather than purpose. There was a knock at the door. I had no idea who it could be. I knew it wasn’t my mother or grandmother. It wasn’t their style. So I opened the door and stepped back to get a look at who ventured to come and see me. I stood looking at a woman who was vaguely familiar but I knew I had never met her. I just waited for her to speak.

“She took a step into my room and gave me a warm smile. ‘Hello, Jenny,’ she said. I was quite boggled as to how this stranger could know me. She extended her hand. ‘I’m Lorna Patterson,’ she informed me, ‘Ryann’s mother.’ The revelation struck me with a blow. I shook her hand and stepped away. I was in no mood to put up with a lecture which I was sure was coming. I didn’t want to hear her pleas or her explanations. I asked her why she was there and her answer quite threw me off. She simply looked at me and said, ‘I just came to thank you.’ I couldn’t imagine what she had to thank me for and I said as much. ‘I want to thank you for your part in bringing my daughter home.”

“With that she handed me a card with her home address on the back. ‘This is our address if you should want to stop by.’ Then she thanked me again, gave me a warm smile, and left. After she had gone I ripped up the card and threw it in the trash. About forty five minutes later I finally stopped struggling with myself and took the stupid thing out of the garbage and taped it together.” Jenny held up the card for Ryann to see. “It was a bit hard to read but with a little work I would have been able to find you through a process of elimination.

“As it was, I didn’t have to worry about it. About an hour later there was another knock at the door. I again opened the door and took a step back. I wasn’t sure what to think of my next visitor. It was a young woman and upon a second look a young pregnant woman. I saw the similarities between the two of you immediately. She introduced herself and this time I wasn’t surprised. I just asked what she wanted and she just wanted to thank me. She handed me an identical card to the one I had retrieved from the trash. Jenny flipped the card given by Teri into view and placed it on top of the restored one. “The morning was starting to give way to afternoon when the third knock was heard on my door. I was a bit worried to open it. I took a deep breath and opened it to find this rather good looking guy standing by. I noticed his eyes immediately, those eyes I knew, your eyes.

“I was a bit unsure what to do.” She took out another card and set it on the pile. “Then later yet another knock at the door, this time I thought that I was safe. It looked like two college students on a scavenger hunt. The boy did most of the talking and he seemed to have an almost bubbly disposition. There was a spring in nearly every movement he made. The girl was calmer, more of a thoughtful persona. She was the yin to his yang. He began to talk and I knew I’d been caught again.” She set down yet another card.

“After they were gone I just sat on the bed in a daze. Who were these people? How is it they all took the same exact action? Was it all planned? Then yet another knock. I didn’t know what to do. I almost didn’t answer, but curiosity got the best of me. I was surprised by the young lady standing at the door. The resemblance struck me. She physically didn’t look much like you it was the way she looked at me. She leaned against the wall and crossed her arms identically to how I’ve seen you do it a hundred times. Her mannerisms and the words she chose to use they were all identical to those I have become accustom to as identifying as yours. Just seeing the look on her face made me want to straighten up as if we were back at the base.

“I felt almost intimidated by this young girl, though that was more of a reaction to you than it was to her. As I said, she reminded me more of you than any of the others. In reaction to, well you, I folded my arms and got a bit smart. I said something along the lines of having supposed she was there to thank me for my part in bringing you home. She must have been surprised but gave it little thought. She walked into the room and shut the door behind her. She wasted little time in getting started. Of all the people I expected a lecture from, it wasn’t this girl. I was very wrong. She forced my gaze. ‘Actually, though I am grateful, I came to get you straight on a few things. My sister has not won the award for best course of action since the tragedy. She caught us up on what happened with her and you. I can see a lot of reasons you can hold a grudge against my sister, but you have no ground to stand on in this last episode. You’re angry and hurt. You have every right to be but you do not have the right to take it out on her. You seem a great person and I’m sure that if you give us the chance we’ll all love you as much as she does but you are no replacement for David. He was a great guy. He and Ryann had a very strong bond that is irreplaceable, no substitutes accepted. If you have a bond with Ryann it is on your own merit. So don’t you dare throw that in her face. She is not guilty of that.

“She took a few steps toward me to make sure I was paying attention. ‘Secondly we are talking about my sister, who has always been a good judge of character. She seems to think quite highly of you and we all are quite inclined to believe her. I believe you must love and care for my sister as much as she for you. Otherwise you wouldn’t have put up with her crap for as long as you have. So putting those observations together I’m of the opinion that you couldn’t possibly be stupid enough to throw away a friendship out of a reaction to grief and pain.’ She took out a card and handed it to me unknowing that I had four just like it. ‘I expect to see you there within the next few days or you will be seeing me again.’ Then she opened the door to leave but before she did she took one last shot. ‘Don’t let pain and grief of the bad times keep you from enjoying the blessings in life.’ Then she was gone.

Jenny put the last card on the pile. Ryann took a step forward and grabbed the cards. Spreading them as she would cards during a game, she studied them. She recognized the handwriting and love of each.

Jenny continued. “I sat down on the bed in a daze. All I could think about were these people who had all the same thought and put action to it in the same day. They were so worried about you they each hurriedly sought me out to try and fix the problem. I was just blown away by how wonderful these people were and wondered how,” she stopped without finishing.

“How I could have ever been away from them for so long,” Ryann finished for her. Ryann looked at the cards again. “I’ll have to apologize for Walter,” she said with a smile, “he would have been there as well but he’s out of town.”

“Walter?”

“My stepfather.”

“Oh, and your dad?”

“He died many years ago.”

Jenny nodded in acknowledgement. Ryann set the cards down on the counter. A somewhat uncomfortable silence moved into the room. Neither knew exactly what to say nor did either have a wish to go first.

Denver walked into the kitchen amidst their silence. He seemed to take no notice of either of them. His hair was disheveled having just gotten out of bed. He still wore his Denver Bronco’s T-shirt and tight plaid pajama bottoms. He walked a little hunched over with his arms dangling at his sides. Had they been long enough his knuckles would have drug across the floor. Denver spotted the peanut butter and bread on the counter. He grabbed a piece of bread and very unprofessionally plopped a large amount of peanut butter on one side. He smoothed the peanut better down somewhat then seemed to be looking for the jam. Seeing none he again plopped some peanut butter on the other piece of bread and put them together. He took a bite and stood silently chewing.

Josey walked by the kitchen and stopped when seeing him. She walked into the kitchen preparing to herd him out. Before she could do so he left on his own volition, still unaware of any of their presences within the room. Josey followed him out with a shake of her head. Ryann and Jenny both broke out laughing at once. The silence gave way to their laughter for a long moment. It returned quickly upon Ryann and Jenny making eye contact. Ryann looked down to the floor. She glanced up, “he’s not much of a morning person.”

“So I gathered.”

Jenny wondered if her being there was a mistake. She seemed to be hurting Ryann just by being there. She was definitely hurting herself. She was about to just turn and leave but her actions were interrupted.

Teri walked into the kitchen with a measure of stealth. She locked onto the unfinished sandwich. Quickly she approached the sandwich and placed the second piece of bread on top. She took a bite and immediately her whole body relaxed. She released a moan of satisfaction. She finally turned her attention to the two in the room. “I’m sorry,” she stated looking back from one to the other, “but you do not keep a pregnant woman from her food.” That said she took another large satisfactory bite and left the kitchen.

Ryann watched her leave with a grin on her face. She turned to Jenny and saw the woman watching her. The grin faded as she realized something must be done. Ryann decided then that she had to be the first to speak. She could see the urge to run in Jenny. “I never meant to hurt you.”

Jenny immediately raised her hand in a motion to silence Ryann. “I know that. Josey was right. I was taking out my pain on you. I was wrong and I’m sorry.”

This time Ryann signaled for silence. “You’re talking to the pot, kettle. I know what it is to react out of pain.” She felt a step closer to reconciliation but knew it wasn’t all fixed yet. Jenny was searching for someone to trust. Ryann reached out her hand palm up in an inviting manor. “You know me well enough that we can cut through the bull. I can guarantee that I will make mistakes. I will choose the wrong path. I have and will at some point let down those I love the most. I will most likely disappoint you numerous times down the road. I am a fallible human.” Ryann paused letting her truthful words sin in. “This I can promise you, that I will always be your friend. I will laugh with you. I will cry with you. I will always try to do right by you. I won’t always succeed but I will never purposely hurt you. I have a long road ahead of me, as do you. Maybe we can help each other get down it.”

Jenny seemed unsure what to think of the speech. Ryann exhaled a sigh of weariness. “Why did you come here?” she asked softly.

Jenny’s lip quivered slightly. “I had no where else to go.”

Ryann extended her hand a little further. “Then come.”

Jenny hesitated for only a moment then took Ryann’s extended hand of friendship. They embraced and Jenny put her head on Ryann’s shoulder and cried.