Ryann - Chapter 5

Jenny had very little time to feel uncomfortable in her new surroundings. She was too busy trying to understand this family. She studied and analyzed them as she ate with them, watched TV with them, shopped with them, walked with them. She was completely amazed at how they immediately fell into treating her as if they had known her all their lives. What truly amazed her was how they made her feel as if she had known them all her life.

Jenny walked into the kitchen. She slowed to a halt when seeing Josey. Josey was dress in black tight fitting jeans. She wore a loose fitting navy blue silk shirt that was tucked into her jeans. Her hair was pulled back in a braid. She looked very casual and laid back. “Hey, baby,” was her cheerful greeting.

“Hello,” Jenny answered back.

“Ryann still in bed?” Josey asked.

“Shower”

Josey nodded her head. “How’d you sleep?”

Jenny put her hands in her pockets and shrugged her shoulders slightly.

Josey smiled broadly. “If it’s too hard to sleep in the same room with her, we do have a spare bedroom. I wouldn’t be surprised if she snores.” Josey teased.

Jenny went to smile but rather a small frown crossed over her face. “No, she doesn’t snore.” She continued on a sober note. “She talks in her sleep and thrashes around.” She walked quietly over to the table and sat down in one of the many chairs. “I talked to her softly last night and held her. She finally calmed down. I went back to my own bed but couldn’t help but keep and eye on her until I couldn’t help but fall asleep myself.”

Josey picked up a cup from the counter and took a sip. She held the cup in both hands, her eyes locked in a thoughtful gaze. “What did she say?” she finally asked.

“Mostly she just muttered. She said their names.”

She took another sip of her drink. “What did you say?”

Jenny thought it an odd question but she answered it. “Just that it was okay.”

Josey put the cup to her lips but didn’t drink. She was about to comment further but they heard Ryann’s footsteps on the stairs. Ryann walked into the kitchen under close scrutiny of the two present. She opened the fridge and took out a mountain dew. It was her morning coffee. She popped open the top and gave a quick look to both of the girls watcher her. “Good morning,” she said awkwardly then took a long drink.

“Morning,” they each echoed back.

Josey took her sip that she had earlier started. This time she drained the cup and set it in the sink. She gave Ryann a last critical glance then put away the earlier conversation. If Ryann remembered the dreams she wasn’t letting on. They all heard Denver’s footsteps approaching from the stairs. Jenny quickly learned the sounds that each of her hosts possessed. Denver was a large man but not over weight. He was a bit taller than Ryann with broad shoulders and a large frame. His were the heaviest sounding footsteps. He put a good deal of force into each of his movements.

Denver entered the room in a cheerful mood. It was a bit later in the morning and he was a bit more awake. He opened the fridge and searched through it. He obviously wasn’t finding what he sought.

“Is this what you’re looking for?” Ryann asked holding up the can of Dew.

He reached for it but she pulled it away. “Hey, you snooze, you loose.”

“Hand it over,” he insisted. “I’d hate to have to hurt you.”

At this Ryann began to laugh. She hadn’t meant to, but she just couldn’t help herself. “I’m sorry,” she claimed through the laughter.

Denver did not look amused nor was he truly upset. He enjoyed a good jesting game as they called them. “It is to laugh, ha ha,” he said un-amused. “You don’t think I could take you?” his question a dare.

Jenny, who had been enjoying the scene, decided to intervene. “That’s probably not a good idea.”

Denver was too far into the game now. “You doth not believe it is a sound enough reason to brawl. Fair enough, I will find another which will suit my lady.”

Jenny’s brows rose at Denver’s jesting.

“You are a dork of the highest caliber,” Ryann said in amusement. She noticed then the look on Jenny’s face. Smiling she made fun of their good humor. “Your lady seems none to impressed. Perhaps she believes you the unworthy cause.”

Denver did not waiver a moment. “Thou hast insulted my lady’s intelligence by questioning her preferred knight. I shall avenge thee,” he swore to her. Jenny laughed but shook her head and held up her hand for him to stop. “I shall avenge my lady’s honor,” he bellowed. With his pledge taken he made a sudden move towards Ryann. Not even Jenny was able to catch the motion of what happened next. One moment Denver was standing there and the next he was on the floor. His cheek rested tightly on the tile as he lay on his stomach. One arm was twisted up behind his back while the other lay trapped beneath his own weight. “Do you yield?” Ryann asked casually.

Denver was in too much shock to speak at first. Ryann applied slight pressure to his arm, taking care not to hurt him. She asked her question again.

“Yes, yes, I yield,” he finally managed.

Top and Carrot entered the room. “What’s up?” Top asked before seeing Denver hugging the tile. “Or should we say what or who is down?” Carrot continued once they had discovered the full scene.

Ryann jumped away letting Denver up. She leaned casually against the wall. Josey shook her head at her eldest sister. “You’re acting very nonchalant about all this.”

Ryann merely shrugged. “He was warned.”

“I can see you’re going to be a little cocky until someone takes you down,” Josey determined. She gave a meaningful look to the others. Jenny saw and was about to give another warning but held off. It was all in jest and she doubted that Ryann would let anyone get hurt. Josey attacked first. Ryann grabbed her and used her forward advance to pull the girl down to the floor. She positioned Josey to her advantage and waited for the rest to attack. Everyone, excluding Jenny, quickly followed Josey and formed a dog pile. There was a bit of struggling but mostly on Josey’s part.

Ryann pulled herself out from under the struggling group with ease. She stood and silently walked over to Jenny. Ryann crossed her arms and waited for them to notice that she had escaped. Carrot was the first to notice. She stood up and gave Ryann a curious glance but didn’t say anything. Top followed Carrot’s motion and discovered her as well. He jumped up when seeing her. He then looked down at the pile. “Hey, Denver, you might want to let Josey up,” Ryann said.

Denver recognized the voice and its positioning. He turned around to face Ryann with a funny grin on her face. He bit one side of his lip lightly and looked down at the floor. He held his hand out to aid his baby sister. She took it and was pulled up to his side.

Brushing off her clothes she gave Ryann a disgruntled look. “That was just rude. I can’t believe you would sacrifice your baby sister like that.”

Ryann cracked a smile for the first time since she had first bated. “You kind of fell into that one,” she teased.

“Ha, ha,” Josey shot back playfully. “We just need more recruits.” She looked to Jenny.

Jenny’s hands went up as a shield. “Don’t look at me,” she said and headed for the living room. The whole procession followed her. She came to a stop next to Lorna who was conversing with Teri.

“C’mon, Jenny. Surly you can take her or at least all of us together.”

“Have you not been told what the woman has been doing in her spare time away?” Jenny shook her head in disagreement. “Then take into account that every move I know, came from miss thing herself. There’s not a whole lot any of us can do.”

Teri looked over the group. “Did we miss something?”

“We’re trying to subdue Ryann,” Josey explained.

“Oh, having problems?”

Josey gave Teri a look. “Just a few set backs.”

Ryann laughed. “Give it up.”

Josey looked to Jenny pleadingly. “Hey, I’m just being realistic.” She responded to the plea. “She’s probably the only one who could take her right now,” indicating Teri.

“Me? How so?”

“You’re an incubator.”

Teri laughed. “So my unborn child would protect me?” Jenny nodded. “I like the sound of that.” She walked toward Ryann.

Ryann put her hands up in front of her. “Hey now.”

“What are you going to do, Ryann?” Teri taunted. Ryann stepped back, but not before Teri grabbed her hand and twisted. Ryann followed the movement to spare her arm and ended face against the wall with her arm held behind her back. “Oh, I like this.”

“You’d better enjoy it while it lasts,” came a muffled response. “I don’t imagine forgetting this occurrence.”

Jenny smiled as she watched the play. Slowly the smile faded as a dim thought filled her mind. She took a few steps away from the family. Once far enough away she turned and was out the doorway.

“I have just been threatened,” Teri spoke down to her belly. “Guess you better stay in there.”

“Oh no, you won’t be an incubator forever.”

“I guess that means I’ll have to start on number two rather quickly then.”

“You might not make it home from the hospital,” she threatened playfully.

She leaned against her sister and spoke into her ear. “I’m not ascared of you, Ryann Kodi. You can tackle me anytime. With you it always ends up more like a hug anyway.” She let Ryann go and stepped back a safe distance to her mother’s side.

Ryann turned around and assessed her sister. “So much for no fear, you little coward.”

“Mom, she’s calling me names.”

Lorna shook her head and sighed. “You all are crazy.”

“Yes and you love it,” Josey countered.

Ryann looked around and saw that Jenny was missing. She stepped into the hall and decided to try the front porch. She was relieved to find Jenny just standing looking out across the yard. Her arms were crossed in front of her. Ryann walked up and put her arms around the girl, sensing that she was sad. She rested her chin on Jenny’s shoulder. “What are you thinking about?”

Jenny frowned. She didn’t know if she wanted to talk about it or not. She decided to give it a try. “I was just wondering where I belong now.”

“What do you mean?”

“I was just watching you with your family. It still amazes me. I would never have dreamed in a million years that you belonged with them. They talk about trying to take you and I think about a woman that wasn’t afraid of anything and would fight to the death if need be. I think of the way you looked at me when I shot those people. The way it felt when you threw those folders at my feet. Then I see you on the floor wrestling with your own siblings or against a wall yielding to one of them.” She looked amazed.

“They don’t fit so well together,” Ryann agreed. She ushered Jenny to the railing around the porch and they both leaned against it.

“No, they don’t. If someone had put the two options before me and asked where you belonged, I would have picked the first hands down.”

“With good reason,” Ryann said.

Jenny turned her head to the side to look at the woman adjacent to her. “I would have been wrong. You belong here. It’s the perfect fit. Now I can look back and see how awkward you were in that other person; how wrong it was. I thought you played that cold heart so well. Now I see you actually sucked at it. I didn’t realize it then. If you had played that part well, none of us would have felt anything for you. I would never have been drawn to you or cared what you thought of me. This is what I sensed, the person who would playfully torture her siblings. This is where you belong.” She ended in wonder.

“It means a lot to me to hear you say this, but I can also sense your retreat. What is going on?”

Jenny shook her head. “I don’t belong here. I fit at your side for a time but you’re back where you belong now.”

Ryann stood up off the railing and walked around in front of Jenny. “That is just an excuse to run.”

“It’s true, Ryann. This is your family not mine.”

“Fine, then you walk in there and tell them what you told me. You step into that room of my family and tell them that you’re going because you don’t belong here. Let’s see what happens. I dare you. Please do it.”

Jenny sighed. “You just don’t want me to go.”

“And what does that tell you?”

“What do you mean?”

Ryann crossed her arms. She wasn’t about to budge and Jenny felt a little intimidated by the move. Ryann may have revealed her soft bunny side, but there was still a deadly tiger in there. “You said it yourself. I want you here. Isn’t that enough for you?” She shook her hand. “If there is somewhere you need to go that’s different, but if you’re running to run, this crap won’t fly.”

Jenny was bewildered at Ryann’s approach. “Why are you getting mad? I just don’t feel…”

“What? You’ve looked very at home this last while. You don’t feel welcome?” Ryann asked.

“That’s not it at all. You’ve all been wonderful.”

“You are so losing this argument.”

“You can’t make this my family,” Jenny argued. “Nothing will change that.”

“Wrong again, sister.” Ryann took a half step closer. “Every one of the people in that house has adopted you. The document has been drawn up and signed by each one. If you don’t believe me, ask them yourself. If you need it in actual writing we’d be happy to draw up legal documents for you. We’re yours whether you like it or not. What you choose to do with us is your choice. Don’t think you’ll get rid of us easily.”

“I’m not trying to get rid of you,” she countered.

Ryann continued. “Secondly, my fine feathered friend.” That drew a smile and shake of the head. “Are you forgetting something rather essential?”

“What?”

“You are my sister.”

Her shoulders fell. “Ryann.”

“Don’t Ryann me. Just because David is gone doesn’t make his family any less mine than they, you, were before he died. You are my sister and you are stuck with me. I would give anything to have known you while they were alive, but we weren’t given that choice. So we have to deal with what we were given and I’m not going to waste that. I’m not about to let you either. I know this is all a shock for you and it doesn’t seem real right now. But if you need to know where you belong, that’s easy. You belong here with us.” She paused to let it sink in. “You also belong with your mother and grandma.”

Those were the secret words, the words that if spoken would break the peace that Ryann was lulling Jenny into. Jenny slipped past her and walked half the porch distance away. Ryann nearly lost her balance as Jenny pushed past. She swung around ready to block the exit off the porch if need be. Jenny didn’t head for it, so Ryann just walked over to face her.

“I don’t want to talk about them, Ryann.” Her voice was authoritative and un-budging.

“Okay, I’ll pick my battles. We’ll leave it alone, for now.”

“For now?”

“Do you really think you’ll be able to avoid it forever? Do you really even want to? That’s an awfully long time.” She reached up and touched Jenny’s cheek. “So, for now. But as for now, never doubt your place in my life.” She cradled her chin between her thumb and fingers. “You’re stuck with us. And you can count on us.”

Jenny leaned forward and the two embraced. “Thanks, Ryann. Could I have a minute out here alone though?”

“Sure, but don’t take a step off that porch,” Ryann warned half jokingly.

“Do you think I’ll run away?”

Ryann shrugged. “I’d chase after you.”

“I’d expect you to,” she said as she swallowed an emotional lump rising in her throat. “Don’t worry, I wont,” Jenny reassured her.

Ryann smiled and nodded. “Okay.” She walked into the house and stepped into the living room. Her mother was looking out the window. She had been watching them and Ryann could see she had been concerned.

“I want to talk with Jenny when she comes in,” Lorna said without looking from the window, “alone.”

“Okay,” Ryann said slowly. “I’ll make myself scarce.”

Jenny came in a few moments later. She started for the stairs but a voice called her into the living room. She saw that Lorna was standing there alone, waiting for her. “Hello, Lorna.”

“Jenny,” she said in greeting. “Come in and have a seat.”

Jenny did as she was told. She sat down a little unsure of herself. Lorna picked up a picture from the end table. She smiled sadly and touched the picture with her finger tips. “You and Ryann were wrong,” she declared. Jenny waited curiously for her to continue. “You were wrong when you thought it was David that she first saw in you.”

“How do you figure?” Jenny asked curiously.

“I’ve watched you for a while now, Jenny. I know who you remind me of and it is not so much your brother.” It was odd for Jenny to have someone refer to her as having a brother. It was such a foreign sound. “You have him in you,” she conceded, “but it’s my grandson in you that drew Ryann to you.” She closed her eyes for a moment. “Sometimes if I’ve just looked at a picture and then close my eyes, I can see him as if he were standing right in front of me.” When she opened her eyes Jenny could see the sheen of tears covering them. “Jance did not have much time with us, but he left a solid and definite impression. That little guy had developed a distinct personality from the get go. His personality and body language were unlike any of ours.”

She sat down next to Jenny. “Just now I was watching the two of you on the porch. I couldn’t hear anything of course, but I was just watching you two reacting with one another. You and Jance react to Ryann in the same way. Especially when she gets all puffed up and intimidating. You both compensate so that even though you feel the intimidation you’re not about to show it. Even the way you cross your arms and set your head,” she shook her head in amazement. “You must get it from your father, but I’ve never seen any of the Kodi’s resemble Jance before.” She sat next to Jenny and turned in her seat slightly to face her. “Even the way you enter a room. You’re cautious and survey your surroundings before relaxing and determining the next step. Jance would look around until he knew exactly who was in the room before he did anything.” She glanced at the picture. “If there were someone new in the room he would head there first. He’d have to make sure they knew who he was before he went to anyone else.

“I think you would have stirred up some jealousy. That boy adored his mother and he adored anyone who adored his mother. You two look at her the same way, almost in awe.” She laughed, “in awe, affectionately, and a bit protective. We were in the grocery store once. Ryann was up ahead and Jance and I were casually lagging behind. A lady approached Ryann. They had gone to school together and she had never like Ryann. No one understood quite why but it was rather apparent. Jance had never seen the woman before but he could sense it. He walked up and got between her and his mother. He folded his arms, cocked his head to the side, leaned back on his left foot and just looked at her. Ryann was so stunned she couldn’t say anything. The woman stepped back and dismissed herself. Jance didn’t relax until she was out of sight and then he turned to his mother as if nothing had happened. He couldn’t even really talk much yet.” She smiled fondly in remembrance of the boy. “He would have loved you from get go, first because he could see how much you care for his mother and then because of who you are. He would have fallen for you as we all have.”

Jenny felt tears slipping down her cheeks. “You don’t even know me,” Jenny argued.

Lorna smiled at her softly. “Oh there’s much more to learn but I know more than you think. I know that you’re patient,” she got a look at that statement but continued on, “how else could you have put up with my daughter this long. I know that you’re curious in nature, which helped with that. I know that you’re loyal. I think you’d step in front of a train for her. You have a good sense of humor, you’re reserved, you’re smart, and have a great capacity to love.”

“Where are you getting all this?”

Lorna patted her cheek. “It’s not hard to see, dear.” She took a breath and let it out slowly. “You know,” she looked down at the picture in her hands again. “I do see some of your brother in you. He was rather reserved and had a calming effect on Ryann that I haven’t seen since I met you.” She touched his face in the frame. “I may not have given birth to him, but I felt his death as if I had, my dear son. We lost so much that day. We all had to find our way through it and Ryann made a bad choice. Don’t get me wrong,” she looked back up to Jenny, “I asked God why more times than I can count and I never got an answer. I simply had to trust that there was some reason even if I didn’t understand or agree. I held on to that with all my might. Then I lost my daughter as well.” She wiped a tear from her cheek. “I prayed for Ryann’s return constantly. I prayed for her when I woke in the morning. I prayed before I went to bed. I prayed as I passed her picture or something that reminded me of her. Always I got the answer not yet. I had my good days and bad days with that answer. No word must mean she’s okay, we’d have heard if she wasn’t. No word must mean something terrible must have happened to her and I couldn’t help her. Some days I would get this overwhelming feeling, just an urgent command to pray and pray hard for her. Then other days I’d find I almost forgot that she was missing. Josey took it harder than anyone.”

She reached over for another photo and pulled it off the table. It was of Ryann and Josey cuddling on the couch. “Those two have a bond like few I’ve ever seen.” She set the photo back. It was the lowest time of our lives. Then when I least expected it I got the answer I wanted. I woke up in the middle of the night. I didn’t get it at first. Now I see that it was a nudge from the Lord, ‘Wake up, you’re prayer is being answered.’” She turned to Jenny and took her hands in her own. “Then I got yet another nudge the very next day, ‘I have more for you than just this.’ When you opened that door and I saw you for the first time, I felt instant compassion and care for you. I knew then that the Lord was telling me that he had sent me home not one daughter but two.”

Jenny couldn’t stop the tears from rolling. She wasn’t sure about all this Lord stuff, but she could see the earnest truth and love in this woman’s eyes. She could feel love. It was different than anything that she’d felt before. It was without reason or condition. She still felt the need to argue. “You just feel grateful,” her words were shaky and sounded like a stretch to even her. “You’ve all given me credit for getting through to Ryann, but now I see that I got through to Ryann because she wanted me to. She was looking for a reason to come home.”

Lorna gave a thoughtful nod. “Perhaps, I’d even like to think that. That doesn’t change the fact that you were the tool. I can see that you feel like running. I was watching you before you went out on the porch earlier. I saw the look that crossed your face and I think I can guess what it is that is really bothering you.”

“What?” Jenny asked cautiously.

Lorna squeezed her hands. “You think that you’ve served your purpose and are no longer needed.”

Jenny was shocked at the revelation. She hadn’t even thought of that but now that it had been said, she couldn’t deny that was what had her feeling as if she hadn’t belonged any longer. She hung her head realizing also that it was so true. “She’s home where she belongs.”

“Praise God,” Lorna said, “but you’re wrong. Look at this picture, Jenny. I am so grateful to have that girl back and I do not deny that she is doing so much better, but is this the girl you’ve seen lately?” She held up the picture of David, Ryann, and Jance. “My daughter has traded one extreme for another. She will refer to them, but have you seen her actually mourn them and move forward?” She handed the picture to Jenny. “She will always need you. You are in her heart and once there, don’t expect to be let off that hook. Life may take you in different directions, but you two will always need each other. But in the immediate, that girl still has a ways to come and she needs all the help she can get. This is going to hit her and when it does it’s going to hurt. Believe me, she really needs you right now.” She stood and moved in front of Jenny. She leaned down. “God took away my son and grandson but He is faithful and he gave me yet another daughter.” She kissed Jenny on the forehead then turned and left the room.

Jenny watched her go then stared down at the picture.

“What was that look for?” Josey asked from the door way.

Jenny looked up. “What look?”

“The look when she called you her daughter. Do you find it so hard to believe that she could feel that way?” she asked.

Jenny shrugged. “I have a hard time believing that it’s not just gratitude.”

“Gratitude may start a relationship but it doesn’t build one. Only love can do that. In time you’ll see the difference.”

“You think?” Jenny asked amused.

“Just wait until you do something stupid.”

“What?”

“It happens to us all, some of us repeatedly. That’s when you’ll see. You typically don’t get away with much in this family.” She took the picture out of Jenny’s hands and set it on the table. Then she placed herself on Jenny’s lap and put her arm around her shoulders. “When you get put in your place, then you’ll know for sure. Gratitude doesn’t take the time to correct. It just disappears. It’s love that corrects. You wait, you’ll see.”

Jenny was surprised to find the girl sitting on her lap but she wasn’t at all uncomfortable. She’d seen Josey sit on Ryann’s lap a few times and saw that it was typical of these siblings. Jenny, who had never had siblings or cousins even, at least that she knew about, was unaccustomed to this type of closeness. However, she felt even more at home now than before. Were they getting through to her? “You are quite the family. I have to admit that.”

Then a wave of playfulness came over her. She started tickling Josey. Josey started wiggling around and they ended up on the floor. They played around for a while and then Jenny rolled away and sat up and leaned against the couch. Josey turned on her side and propped her head up on her hand.

“Can I ask you something?” Jenny asked turning serious.

“Sure,” Josey okayed with a smile.

“Why didn’t someone correct Ryann? Why didn’t they force her to deal with it?” she asked.

Josey sat up and curled into a ball, her arms wrapped around her legs, her chin on her knees. “It was too much. No one knew how to handle anything. No one knew how to handle their pain, let alone hers.” She paused. “You would have had to been there. You would have had to seen.”

“Been where?” Jenny asked softly, sensing she meant more than a time frame.

“That night, the night it happened.”

“You were there?” Jenny asked surprised.

“Yes, I was there,” she pulled herself tighter. She was not looking at Jenny, but Jenny had a good view of the girl’s eyes as she spoke. She could see the events reflected there as the girl began to tell the story. “I couldn’t sleep that night so I got up to make myself a snack. The phone rang and I picked it up at the same time that dad did. Curious to what it was about, I listened in on the conversation. I recognized the voice immediately, it was daddy’s best friend Jim, he’s the head of the police department.”

“Hello,” Walter answered groggily.

“Walter, it’s Jim.”

“Hi, Jim, what’s up?” Walter asked, still not quite awake.

Jim paused before speaking. “About twenty minutes ago Ryann and David’s security alarm went off,” he started. “A police officer was nearby and responded. When he got out of the car two men were running from the house. There was gun fire. The officer hit and killed one of the men but the other got away.”

“What about…” Walter started, his voice shaky. He paused looking at his wife lying their watching him, “the people in the house?”

“I don’t know, Walter.” He answered. “I’m on my way over there now.”

“Okay, I’ll meet you there.” Walter hung up the phone and started getting dressed. He looked at his wife and debated what to tell her. Should he take her? He was about to go without telling her anything but looked up and saw his baby girl standing in the door with a dazed and frightened expression on her face. “You were listening on the phone, weren’t you?”

“Yes,” Josey answered, though the look on her face was all the answer that he needed.

“What’s going on, Walter?”

He looked at Josey. He knew there was no way she would stay put. “Go get dressed,” he told her. He explained the situation to Lorna and the hurriedly got ready and headed over to the house. He pulled up amidst a circus of vehicles. He spotted Jim immediately.

“Josey, you stay put,” he ordered as he opened the car door. He ran over to Jim. “Jim! What’s going on? How is Ryann?”

“She’s alive, Walter.” He looked at Lorna was still sitting in the front of the car.

Walter felt overwhelming relief. “Can we see her?”

Jim nodded but he was trying hard to get some words out. “Walter,” he gritted his teeth together working to force the words. “David and Jance,” his eyes watered up, “they’re gone. They didn’t make it.”

Walter felt like falling to his knees and crying out in anguish but he knew that he couldn’t. He nodded in acknowledgement then walked back to the car. Lorna opened the door and stood up as he approached.

“Ryann?” is all she could manage.

“She’s alive. She’s in one of the ambulances.” Walter said.

“Can I see her?” she asked.

“Yes,” he stopped her before she walked off. “Lorna,” he stopped her. “David and Jance…” he couldn’t say the words.

He didn’t have to. It was written on his face. Lorna felt the blow and staggered backwards. She caught herself. She had to be strong for Ryann. She nodded in understanding. “Take me to her.” They headed off toward the ambulance. Josey followed quietly behind at a distance.

An officer stopped them as they approached but Jim okayed them through. They could tell something wasn’t right but they couldn’t see Ryann. A few men stepped aside and they finally spotted Ryann. She was huddled way in the back corner, clutching her dead child in her arms. One of the men took a step towards her. She shrunk even further back. “Get away from us!” she yelled. The voice sounded unnatural. “You’re not taking him!” She hugged Jance tightly to her chest. “You can’t have him. He’s mine.”

Another man took a step forward and she chucked something at his head. He ducked and it barely missed him. “No! He’s mine! Mine! He’s mine!”

Lorna touched the man’s shoulder in front of her. “Let me try,” she said softly. He moved aside and Lorna stepped through. She walked up to Ryann. “Ryann, Ryann, its mother.”

Ryann looked up, her eyes seeming to focus slightly. Lorna inhaled sharply at the look of pain in her daughter’s eyes. “Mom?” Ryann asked confused and in a state of shock.

“Yes baby, it’s me.” She reached out and touched Ryann’s face. She looked down at her grandson. “Ryann, you need to let him go.”

At that instant Lorna became an enemy, one of the others who were trying to steel her son. Her eyes covered over. “Get away from us! You can’t have him!” She looked to Lorna’s left at empty space. “David please, don’t let them. Don’t let them take our son! Please, please, please no! You can’t let them take him. Stop them, please David, please don’t let them take him. Don’t don’t.” She started rocking Jance back and forth. “Don’t, don’t…no...don’t…don’t…no. David, don’t let them.” She just stared into empty space begging David for his help, pleading for help.

“Ryann,” Lorna choked out. “Let me hold my grandson.”

Ryann just stared at her for a moment. She must have understood the need of a grandmother to hold her grandson. She slowly held him out to her. Lorna took Jance into her arms and hugged him to her body. She looked into his precious face for a moment and kissed his forehead. She needed to say goodbye. Taking a deep breath she turned and handed him over to a man standing by.

When Ryann saw what she was doing she jumped up to grab him back. Two men grabbed her from either side. “David!” she screamed out. “Give him back. Give him back. David, make them give him back.” They forced her down on the bed.

“They gave her a shot of some kind of drug to put her out, when they first got here.” Jim told Walter.

“What does that mean?” Walter asked.

“She has enough drugs in her to put out a horse.” Jim said.

Ryann over powered the two men and started for where they had taken Jance. Walter grabbed her and handed her back to the men. They held her down as they strapped her into the restraints. Ryann’s eyes settled on a spot in the sky out of the back of the ambulance. “You give them back!” she yelled. “Give them back. I want them back! You can’t have them! You give them back!” She turned her head slightly and looked at Lorna. “Give them back!” she said quietly, almost in a whimper.

Jenny wiped the tears from her face and focused on the young woman before her. “Have you ever talked about this with anyone?”

Josey shook her head. “No, I walked back to the car in shock. Mom and Dad thought that I had been in the car the whole time.”

“Oh, little one.” Jenny said sympathetically. She pulled the girl onto her lap and held her.

           

“I’m going to the store!” Lorna called out as she grabbed her purse.

Ryann was lounging on the couch with her feet plopped up on the coffee table. “Would you like me to dictate my list?” she called out.

Lorna poked her head through the opening. “If you want anything you’d best come.”

“Ooh,” Ryann looked at Jenny. “We get to sneak things in the cart.” She heard her mother ‘hmmph’ from the hall. “You want to go?”

“Well, what do we get to put in the cart?”

“Whatever we can get in without her noticing.”

“Sounds fun.”

“It is. She’s easily distracted.”

“I heard that!” Lorna called from the hall.

“Little Bit!” Ryann called out.

“Little Bit? I thought she was Little One?”

Josey came around the corner. “It changes from mood swing to mood swing. Usually I’m Little Bit when we’re up to a bit of no good.”

Jenny and Ryann jumped up. “Yep.”

“Please control yourselves,” Lorna said as she walked through the doors of the store.

“Control, yes. It’s all about control, discipline, and stealth.” Ryann said fiendishly.

“Oh brother,” Lorna shook her head but couldn’t hide her grin.

The three huddled together as Lorna walked off with her cart. They broke their huddle and Josey headed off alone. Ryann and Jenny headed for isle three. Half way there they were stopped.

“Ryann?”

Ryann turned to the voice. She forced a smile. “Mrs. Bensen, how are you?”

“You’re home,” she continued as though Ryann had not spoken.

“Yep.”

“Your mother must be pleased.”

“Well, you’d have to ask her that,” she joked.

The woman just looked at her. It didn’t seem as though it was a joking matter. “Okay, well it was nice to see you again,” Ryann stated and quickly moved away.

“Well that was uncomfortable.”

“Yes. Okay, back to business.” They headed off for their items. Ryann grabbed a box of crackers from the shelf. She handed them off to Josey who walked past the isle. Lorna turned down their isle just as Josey disappeared. Lorna was so tickled by the game she could barely contain her joy. She grabbed the next item on her list and looked up. Jenny had disappeared. Ryann was watching her with a content look on her face.

“Ryann?”

They both looked over at the voice. “James,” Ryann said with a smile. They had gone to school together. “How are you doing?”

He glanced up at Lorna then back to Ryann. “Good, and you?”
            Ryann had registered the look. She would be getting a lot of these. “I’m doing alright.”

He again looked from Lorna back to her. “It’s good to have you home.”

“Thanks. It’s good to be back”

They stood in uncomfortable silence. James finally broke it. “Well, it was nice to see you. Welcome home.”

“Thanks.”

Lorna grabbed her last item in this row and quickly pushed past James. She could feel Ryann’s discomfort as her own. Ryann fell in step behind her, now lost in quiet thought. They turned down the next isle.

“Hello, Lorna,” a merry voice caught their attention.

“Oh no,” Ryann whispered under her breath.

“Hi, Misty,” Lorna responded. “How are you?”
            “Well,” she saw Ryann then. A look of surprise crossed her face then disappeared. “Hello, Ryann.”

“Hello, Mrs. Howell.”

“Misty, please. Mrs. Howell makes me feel so old. You know, I’m not that much older than you.”

Ryann smiled feeling more at ease. “Yes, Ma’am. I know.”

“Oh no you didn’t,” she feigned insult. “Not, ma’am. You’re killing me.”

Ryann grinned. “Sorry, it’s habit with me when speaking to people in authority.”

Misty laughed. “I’ve never had anyone describe me like that.” Ryann just smiled in response. “Well, I have to grab a few items and hurry off. It was nice to see you both.”

“Nice to see you as well,” Lorna said.

She and Ryann turned back to the cart. No one was in sight but the cart was considerable more full. Lorna looked at Ryann. “My grocery bill was much cheaper while you were away.”

Ryann grinned. “I do have a lot of goodies to make up for.”

Loran patted Ryann’s cheek. “Just try not to get us all fat.”

The girls managed to get two more raids in before heading to checkout. It was an agreed upon success. Lorna gawked at the bill but was unpleasantly distracted, for Ryann received several shocked gawking hellos. She got one from the cashier, two on the way out the door, one when they’d got to the car, and someone on the street did a double take as they drove out of the lot. Ryann didn’t comment on any of it but got very quiet on the ride home. Lorna recruited Ryann to help put away all the groceries. The other two decided to help by stashing their goodies in special hiding places. Lorna worked on getting up the nerve to talk to Ryann about their encounters.

Ryann could tell her mother’s thoughts. “I’m okay, mom.”

Lorna sighed. Would she ever get over this worry? She was so frightened that someone would say the wrong thing and she would lose her daughter again. “I’m sorry that it was so awkward.”

Ryann shrugged as she put away a six pack of pop. “It’s to be expected.” She grabbed the bread and put it in the bread box. “I just wish we could get it all done with at the same time.” Lorna gave her a sympathetic look.

“That’s easy enough,” Josey responded.

The two looked over at her. “How so?” Ryann asked.

“We have a coming home party. Send out invites so everyone’s surprise is in the comfort of their own home.”

Ryann was skeptical but Lorna latched onto the idea. “That could work. It would give people time to get used to the idea and then when they see you they can just be happy that you’re home and not surprised. I like it. Plus, we haven’t’ had a good celebration for a while. How about it?” she asked Ryann.

Ryann shrugged. She wasn’t so sure about it but trusted her mother’s judgment. “If that’s what you want to do.”

“Good, then it’s settled. Josey, you’re in charge of the announcements.”

“Let’s just put it in the paper.”

“Let’s not,” Ryann countered.

“Party pooper,” Josey teased.

“When are we going to have this?” Ryann asked.

“How about when dad comes home,” Josey offered.

The mention of her stepfather stirred butterflies in Ryann’s stomach. She was nervous to see him. They all agreed that would be a perfect time, Ryann because she could focus on Walter coming home which would over ride nerves about the party.

Walter was to arrive at 4:00 and the party to start at 5:00. Ryann could not force herself to hold still. Top and Carrot went to the airport to retrieve their dad. Lorna, Teri, and Josey were finalizing party items. Denver was watching a game, oblivious to all. Jenny was going back and forth between helping out the party planners and checking on Ryann. Ryann sat down at Jenny’s suggestion but jumped back up and started pacing. “Wow, you’re really nervous about this thing aren’t you?”

“What thing?” Ryann asked absent mindedly.

“The party. Hello?”

“Oh, yeah.”

“What’s up, Ryann?”

“They’re home!” Josey called out.

Ryann spun around, her nerves apparent on her face. “Wait a minute,” Jenny said. “You’re not nervous about the party. You’re nervous about your dad.”

Ryann glanced at her and did not deny her revelation. She braced herself. Walter came through the door and did first what he always did first, kissed his wife hello. Then he lifted his head and sought out Ryann.

They locked eyes as he walked toward her. Ryann flashed through her life with this man. Her memories of the first time they had met and he had so graciously took her sizing him up, of the day he married her mother, the first time he had to discipline her, the first and last time she yelled that he was not her father, of him giving her away at her wedding, the first time he held her son, all the memories that made him her father by choice. She was noticeably shaking. He stopped directly in front of her. They just gazed at one another.

“Welcome home, darlin’,” he said softly.

She stepped up to him and flung her arms around his shoulders and buried her face in his neck. He held her firmly. There were tears shimmering in his eyes as he welcomed his daughter home.

Ryann was both excited and nervous about the festivities down stairs. Her homecoming party was just a reminder of the pain she had caused everyone by running away. Jenny was leaning against the door frame. Her arms were crossed and she had a smirk on her face. She found this side of Ryann fascinating. It was so different from the woman she had known. Before coming to this house, she wouldn’t have believed that Ryann could be unsure of anything, let alone nervous. “You ready to go down stairs?”

Ryann took in a deep breath. “Yeah, let’s get this over with.”

They both walked down stairs and greeted everyone they came in contact with. Ryann did her dutiful rounds. She had never been more scrutinized over in her life. People were looking her over as they would a fragile china doll which had just fallen off the counter that they were searching for cracks in. She kept a large smile on her face at all times and answered questions as they came. Now the initial shock was over and people were probing. She grinned as she looked over at Jenny. She was getting pelted with questions as well. She was the one they attributed Ryann’s return with and everyone wanted to know how she had done it. It was a good question. Ryann excused herself from the crowd she was standing with. Her mother and Walter had stepped up to Jenny and the lady that she was speaking with. Ryann stepped up behind them.

“So you just slowly broke through to her?” the lady asked.

Jenny shrugged then shook her head. She wasn’t sure what to tell people. She wasn’t so inclined to believe that it was any of these peoples business, even though most of the people here were relatives, it just didn’t seem like party talk. “No, really it came all at once. I’m not so sure we’d even be here right now if Ryann hadn’t been shot. Really, it was then that I saw through her wall and she wasn’t able to hide any more do to the physical trauma she was going through.”

Ryann cringed. She froze as she waited for the reaction.

“Excuse me,” Lorna spoke up.

Jenny looked at Lorna and then the cringing face of Ryann. She realized her mistake to late. “Oops,” she shrugged. “Guess you left that out.”

Ryann sighed. Lorna and Walter turned to her. “You were shot?” the voice was not a pleasant questioning form. She was not happy.

“Umm, yeah,” Ryann drew out.

Lorna reached out and grabbed her daughter firmly by the arm. “Excuse us, please.” She pushed Ryann toward the hall. They walked away from the group to a guest room. Once inside she closed the door after Walter had stepped in behind them. She turned to Ryann sharply. “What’s going on?”

Ryann looked at Walter. She could see that he had figured it out. Lorna followed her gaze. “Did you know?”

He stepped back and put up his hands. “No, I just put it together.” He shrugged. “Thinking back, I should have known. I remember when it happened. I even mentioned it to you that someone had gotten shot.”

“You didn’t tell me it was at the WTCU.”

“I didn’t think much of it. You didn’t tell me that Ryann was there, so I didn’t know that there was a possibility that it was her. They were trying to keep it under wraps at the time, so I didn’t go into detail.” He looked up at Ryann. “I heard that the commander had been shot and taken to the hospital. When you were revealed to me as that person, it was so far removed from the shooting that I just didn’t think about it. When Jenny said that, it all came back.”

Lorna turned on Ryann again. “Well I know nothing about it. Was it an accident? I thought that you only used laser sensor guns.”

Ryann cleared her throat. “Well, we do.” She looked down at her feet. She did not like the way her mom was looking at her. She felt like a child who was is a great deal of trouble. “It wasn’t an accident.” She looked at her mother. “He hit where he was aiming or close enough.”

Lorna shook her head. “Someone tried to kill you. Was it them?”

Ryann shook her head, knowing who her mother was supposing. “No, it was a disgruntled ex-employee.”

“How bad was this?” Ryann didn’t answer but the look on her face gave the answer for her. Lorna nodded. It wasn’t a good nod. It was an upset irritated nod. “Walter, could you leave us alone for a moment.”

He seemed eager enough to leave.

She set her gaze on Ryann and would not allow Ryann to look away. “You could have died?”
            Ryann half shrugged. “I didn’t.”

“That’s great, Ryann. You were shot and no one contacted us.”

Ryann had no response. She hadn’t given anyone a contact number for her family. “I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry. You could have died and we wouldn’t have even known right away, let alone have the chance to say goodbye.” She turned her face from Ryann. “You would have left this family broken.”

Ryann took a step toward her mother. She wanted to comfort her but could see the rigid stance and knew that right now she was not welcome to do so. “What do you want me to do, mom. I can’t change what happened.” She sighed. “I’m here now.”

Lorna turned on her. “Are you?”
            “Mom.”

“Don’t mom me. I’ve waited for you to come home to find out that we almost lost you forever without ever being able to fix the chasm between us. Now you’re home and it’s supposed to make it alright?”
            Ryann wanted to cry. “I don’t know what you want from me.”

Lorna stepped up to her first born child and grabbed her by both arms. “I want my daughter back.”
            Ryann stared at her. “I’m right here.”

“No, no you’re not.” Lorna stepped back. “I’ll admit you’re similar but you’re not my girl. You’re her physically but those aren’t her eyes. Not even the voice is the same.” Lorna shook her head. “It surprises me when you even laugh. Part of me is happy to hear you laugh again and the other part of me cringes because I don’t know the person laughing. That is not my daughter’s laugh.”

Ryann swallowed down the lump in her throat. She wanted to tell her mother what she wanted to hear but it wasn’t possible. “I don’t think that person exists anymore. She’s buried with her son and husband.”

Lorna looked thoughtful. “If you were anyone else, Ryann, I might believe that. But I know my daughter. I know that she is there. She’s angry and hurting and she refuses to be comforted.”

“Mom.”

“She’s in rebellion. I can see it and there is nothing that I can do.”

Ryann instantly became defensive. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Lorna looked at her with such understanding that Ryann wanted to wipe the look off her face. “Be assured Ryann, I will not be content with this mannequin form of the real person. I will wait patiently but God will have His way with you.”

Ryann stepped up to speak but held her tongue. She was going to speak to her mother in anger but held back. Lorna again looked at her with that understanding gaze. “What you see is what you get.”

Lorna smiled, this time as though she knew something that Ryann did not.  She sighed. “This is neither the time nor place.” She smiled sadly. “I’m sorry. I just have a hard time picturing losing you that way when so much was unfinished.”

Ryann calmed immediately. “I’m sorry. I hadn’t expected anything like that to have happened.”

Lorna nodded. “Okay, let’s go back to the party.”

“Okay,” Ryann agreed.

Ryann followed her mother out. Jenny caught her gaze and gave an apologetic look. Ryann smiled at her to reassure her that it was alright. She needed a breather. She walked into the kitchen and pulled a bottle of water out of the refrigerator. Turning around she walked back into the living room. She stood quietly and drank her water. She heard a commotion outside. Setting down her water she walked to the door to investigate. Ryann opened the door and started to step out but quickly stepped back behind the door and pushed it in front of her so she couldn’t be seen by anyone outside. She hadn’t expected this problem. Would this never end? Walter had heard the disturbance as well and was heading for the door. Ryann signaled to him that she would handle it. Taking a very deep preparative breath she stepped outside. Jenny watched her go. Ryann had a look of defeat on her face and it peaked Jenny’s interest so she followed her out. She closed the door absentmindedly behind her as she stepped outside. She wasn’t sure what to make of the scene before her. A young man holding a bottle stood in the middle of the yard. He was complaining to anyone who would listen about something. She moved along the railing to get closer.

She watched as Ryann took a few steps towards the young man. “Luke,” she called to him.

He whirled around at the sound of her voice. An array of emotions played out over his face.  It started with the short element of surprise, a glimpse of pleasure followed, though later Jenny thought she was probably seeing things. These were followed by a flash of pain and then a wash of anger that crossed his face and stayed there.  “You’re still here?” he piped up.

“Yes, Luke.  I’m not going anywhere,” Ryann answered him patiently. 

“Too bad for us, isn’t it?” his sarcasm bit hard. 

Jenny took a step toward him.  She was about ready to take its head off, “just who do you think you are?” she yelled angrily.

Ryann turned when hearing her voice.  She bounded up onto the porch to Jenny side.  “Jenny, please stay out of this, okay?  I’d don’t want you to say something you’ll later regret.”

“What are you talking about?” Jenny asked.  She gave the stranger an intense look.  “I think you need to leave.”

            “Don’t give her your allegiance,” he warned.  “She’ll end up stabbing you in the back with it.”

“Why you little punk!” Jenny took another step towards him.  She had no problem knocking him on his backside. 

Ryann put her hand firmly on Jenny’s shoulder and held her back.  She shook her head regretfully.  “This is not how I wanted this to happen,” Ryann said.  “Look, Jenny, don’t take what he says personally.  He’s drunk and there’s more to the story then you can see.”

“What’s wrong with you?  Why are you defending him?  You’re not one to let anyone treat you like this.  Who is he?” Jenny looked at Ryann as if she didn’t know her.

“Calm down. He’s just in a lot of pain and I’m an easy target. I’m still very capable of taking care of myself. Please trust me on this. I’ve been trying to come up with the way of introducing you two. This isn’t how wanted it to happen.” Ryann walked down off the porch. She stood before the young angry man. He glared at her in response. She thought it quite amazing that he had stayed silent while they were arguing among themselves.

Now that he had her attention, he didn’t remain silent. “You’re not wanted here,” He spoke harshly.

Jenny nearly exploded that she knew better than to cross Ryann. She stepped off of the porch and came up next to Ryann. “Who is this?” Jenny asked.

Ryann looked reluctant. She did not want to do it this way. “This is Luke,” she looked from Luke to Jenny. I’m so sorry about this, Ryann thought. “Luke is David’s little brother.” Her heart went out to Jenny at the look that crossed her face. “This is your brother.”

Both parties froze and stared at one another. Ryann put her hand on Jenny’s shoulder. “Jenny, I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you earlier but I didn’t know how to explain this.”

Luke reacted to the touch. “Get away from her,” he pushed Ryann away from Jenny.

Well it didn’t take long for the protective brother to kick in, Ryann thought. “Luke, cool it.”

“Cool it? I don’t answer to you.  I’m not going to let you do it again.” He kept stepping toward Ryann in an aggressive manner. Ryann wasn’t about to get into a fight with him so she allowed herself to be pressed back. “You,” he accused.  “It’s all you!”

“This isn’t helping, Luke.” Ryann tried.

“If it wasn’t for you, they would still be here. You let them die. You stood there and did nothing. We don’t need someone who puts herself before her own child and husband. You killed them!  You!” Luke yelled out of control.

Jenny had been so shocked she had just been standing frozen watching the scene unfold before her. She was confused that Ryann would back off from a challenge she could easily have handled. She was shocked that this intoxicated young man was her brother. Jenny snapped out of it and forced herself to concentrate on what was being said. She would deal with the brother things better. Right now she had to think about Ryann. It was safer to focus on that, at least for now.

“He’d still be here with a good wife and their children if he hadn’t met you!” Luke threw the bottle at her. Ryann caught it with ease. There was a blank look across her face. If his words struck true, she didn’t let it show. “You killed my brother! You killed my nephew! My little,” he paused and his voice dropped off, “boy.”

Jenny snapped out of her state of shock. She grabbed him and twisted him around abruptly.  “Where do you get off with this attitude?” She didn’t know what to say.  She only knew that she was angry and confused.

Lorna stepped outside when she heard the yelling. She knew exactly what was happening the moment that she saw Luke. She wanted to do something but her feet wouldn’t move.  She was stuck in place as she watched the boy rip into her daughter. Ryann just stood there and took it.  She made no move to defend herself verbally or physically. What if he was causing her to backslide? What if he undid all the progress that they’d made so far? Lorna was relieved when Jenny finally stepped in. By now the girl knew she had another brother.  This must be killing her. Lorna saw Ryann make a dash for it for it. Walter was behind her now. She didn’t know what to do. Should she send him after Ryann?

Jenny clinched her fist into a ball. She was just about two seconds away from landing this boy on his backside when she happened to glance in Ryann’s direction. She got a strong sense of Déjà vu but only in reverse. She took a double take and saw Ryann was gone. Jenny ran to the spot where Ryann had been. She saw Lorna and Walter standing there.  “Where did she go?”

“She ran off in that direction,” Lorna pointed it out.

A bolt of lightning flashed and lit up the sky but there was no sign of Ryann. Jenny began to get worried.  It wasn’t raining but the lightning was nearby. “Where would she go?”

 “I don’t know,” Lorna shook her head. 

Jenny was near panic.  If Ryann had slipped back she could disappear.  “I think that I might know,” She said as a thought entered her head.  She started off but felt a hand on her arm. 

It was Luke.  “No, it’s best this way.  Let her go.” He looked off in the direction Ryann had run.  “I hope you never come back!”  He yelled at the top of his lungs.

It took everything she had, every ounce of willpower to not beat him down.  She wanted to strike him hard, brother or not.  At that moment she hated him.  “Get out,” she growled in him.  “Get away from us!”

Walter stepped in.  “Come on Luke, I’m going to take you home.”

Luke complied but gave one last look in his newfound sister.  “You’ll see that I’m right,” he stated.  “You’ll see.”

Jenny took off. She had only one guess to where Ryann could have gone. She had only been there once before and it taken her a little time to find the right spot. It paid off though. Ryann lay on the ground in a fetal position. She was lying very still across the graves of her husband and son.

Jenny lost it then. She let out a sob and reached for Ryann.  “Ryann,” she cried, “look at me.” She pulled Ryann into a sitting position. Ryann’s eyes were lifeless and blank.  It looked as if she had lost all hope.  “Ryann, talk to me. It’s me Jenny. Please say something.” Ryann stared right through her. Jenny’s thoughts were much the same as Lorna was having at that exact moment.

Was Ryann going to be lost to all of them?  How would they get her back this time? What if they lost her forever? Lorna gave her fears to the Lord and trusted. “Lord, please don’t let this take my daughter from me. Whatever happens please give us the peace to handle it. Lord, I believe you can do what you say you can do, please help us.” Lorna bowed her head and felt the Lord’s peace around her.

Jenny was not so peaceful. She shook Ryann and called to her and begged her to come back to them.

Ryan finally spoke, “what have I done?”

“Nothing, Ryann.  It wasn’t your fault,” Jenny stated.

“What am I doing?” Ryann looked at her hands. She stared at the area beyond Jenny but that was not what she was looking at. A vision popped into our head, one so strong and lifelike that she couldn’t take her eyes from it. She doubled over in pain.  “What am I doing?” she asked again.

Who am I? She heard whispered in the recesses of her mind. Take my hand, the whisper came again, I’ve been waiting for you.

Ryann jumped up suddenly and took off out of the cemetery. Stunned, it took Jenny a few seconds to start after. They were both in good shape, after all Jenny had learned from the master. But Ryann ran as though her life depended on it and for the life of her Jenny could not keep up. She continued to run after, keeping the same distance between them.  To her surprise Ryann had undone her shirt and tossed it off to the side. Jenny stopped momentarily and picked it up then continued running after her. What is she doing? As she watched Ryann proceeded to kick off her shoes as she ran, this almost caused her to fall but she managed to stay a foot. Jenny gained some ground during this time but had to stop to grab Ryann shoes and her now discarded pants. Her confusion suddenly ended when she saw the cliff ahead. “Ryann, no!” she screamed. She desperately tried to go faster but her legs suddenly felt like lead. She was only feet away from the edge when Ryann dived from the cliff edge. “Ryann!” she felt to her knees. Her scream lingered in the air. She watched in horror as Ryann fell toward the ground. Relief flooded her as the ground parted to prove itself to be water and not dry land.

The cold water washed over Ryann.  She let the momentum drag her downward towards the bottom of the lake.  The image popped into her mind again.  She had felt the need to let water wash over her body and now she let blood wash over her soul.  She only began to head for the surface when her lungs started to burn for lack of air.  She stroked upward with all her might.  As she sprung up through the water she remembered words from long ago.  Arise and be baptized, and wash away your sins, calling on the name of the Lord.  “Oh Lord, God.  Oh, Jehovah, please.” At the moment she broke through the surface the rain began to pour down from the heavens. 

Jenny saw a path down to the bottom of the cliff.  She rose off her knees and ran down the path.  She made it to the water’s edge at the same time Ryann broke through the surface.  She came out with pretty good force and as she came up and fell back down into the water as she spread her arms and landed on her back.  Jenny heard a noise but couldn’t quite distinguish it.  Ryann turned and swam toward her. She came out of the water and grabbed her shirt and put it on.  Then she grabbed her pants and threw them on quickly as well.  She was shivering but not from the cold water.  The lightning flashed nearby, so close that they felt it was going off all around them.  In the flash of lightning their eyes met.  Jenny was taken aback.  This woman before her was not the same woman who dove into the water.  Her eyes were clear and bright as though a light were shining from within them.  Jenny realized what the sound had been, it was laughter. 

She began laughing and she grabbed Jenny around the waist and spun her around. She set her back down and then lifted her arms and face to the clouds above.  Jenny had never heard that laugh before, especially not from Ryann.  It was filled with joy and peace.  She stared at her friend and wondered what was happening to her.  What could possibly have changed this much this quickly?

  Ryann grabbed Jenny’s hand and hurriedly guided her back up the path. At the top jenny stopped abruptly and their hands parted. Jenny fell to her already sore knees. Ryann turned and looked at her questioningly. She brought herself down to Jenny’s level and looked intently into her face. “Are you okay?” she asked.

“I thought,” Jenny looked at the cliff. “I thought…”

Ryann followed her gaze. “Oh, Jenny. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to frighten you.” She put her hands on Jenny’s shoulders. “I’m so sorry.”

Jenny looked into Ryann’s eyes again. Jenny couldn’t help but be amazed at the change.  For the first time she was even able to tell the color of Ryann’s eyes.  Before all you could really see was a clouded over darkness, shadowed by the sorrow and pain; Now her blue gray eyes shown vibrantly.  They twinkled! 

Ryann jumped up and grabbed her shoes.  She hurriedly slipped on her shoes and tied them.  “Come on, let’s go home!” Ryann exclaimed excitedly. She felt such energy and peace.

Jenny stood but she didn’t move forward.  “What is going on?”

Ryann turned to her.  She saw the confusion and Jenny’s face.  Jenny had never seen her this way but Ryann remembered.  Ryann remembered when she had this peace with in her.  She remembered when she wanted to shout out loud for joy.  Ryann smiled and forced herself to calm down.  She wanted to fly.  She knew that this wouldn’t last for long.  Soon life would hit her upside the head again but everything had changed.  God had picked her up out of the mire and set her straight.  Right now He was giving her balance and with His steady hand upon her she really did feel as if she could fly.  Her soul was flying.  Soon He would slowly take away His hand just enough so she could learn to steady herself again. Yet now she knew that even though He was letting her stand on her own two feet, He would be there every time she needed to be caught when she stumbled.  Ryann knew that He was always right there making the way before her.  She stood there wrapped up in peace that only God could give.  It was unexplainable to man.  Even Ryann who was experiencing it didn’t understand it. 

“I,” Ryann tried to find the words to explain, “I’ve been trying to carry the weight of everything that has happened.  I’ve carried the death of my family on my shoulders for so long.  I refused to let anyone help me, not my family not my friends not my God.  I was determined to carry the burden on my own.” She smiled and took a breath as though it was her first.  “Now I’m free.  The weight is gone!”

“Gone?  Gone where?” Jenny asked.  “I don’t understand.”

“Oh, Jenny.  I have been running from God for so long that you’re not going to understand this.  I’ve shown you through my actions and my attitudes a false picture.” Ryann explained. 

“What false picture?”

“That I can and do live independent from God. I’ve never made any reference to Him or even told you how much He used to and still does mean to me.”

“Used to,” Jenny repeated, “what has changed?”

“I have,” Ryann answered. “Job lost his entire family, his fortune, his wealth and he never cursed God. I lost part of my family and my faith was too weak to stand on. I chose anger as my crutch and I used it to run from God. Only all the while I thought I was running from Him, He was directing me back. He brought me to my knees. I saw what I’d done.  I saw a vision of my Lord on across, nailed to a cross and I was holding the hammer.” She turned to Jenny, all the while having been looking at the horizon. “I was at the point that I had no lower to go. I was on my knees and there were His hands reaching out to me, palms bleeding. He reminded me of the time when I first believed. He reminded me that nothing could take me from Him, not even myself.”

Ryann extended her arms and slowly twirled around. She turned again to Jenny.  “He has taken my burdened load from me and set me free.”

Jenny just looked at her as though she had completely lost her mind. She had never heard the word God come from Ryann’s lips and now He seemed to be all she could think about. “I don’t understand.”

Ryann frowned. “Understanding comes from God.  I cannot make you understand.” She rubbed Jenny’s arm.  “All I can tell you is that what I’m saying is true. God has redeemed me yet again. The first time He redeemed me from the pits of hell and this time He redeemed me from my transgressions.”

“Transgressions?”

“My willful and premeditated sins. I was a child in rebellion. I was always His; I just wasn’t listening to His voice calling me. I was so angry I refused to forgive. I refused to even try and understand or accept His authority.” Ryann continued to try and explain. “He was always with me; I just wouldn’t turn to Him.”

“Why now?” Jenny asked confused.

Ryann smiled. “Because sometimes we are so stubborn that we have to be pushed to our very lowest. Sometimes we force Him to let us sink so low that we have nowhere to go but to raise our arms the call out his name. Now because He is God. He allowed me to work my way into the depths only so He could pluck me out and strengthen my faith.” She raised her hands palm up and tipped her face to the sky. The rain drops splattered on her face. “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are Mine!” she quoted. She laughed from deep within. “I, even I am He who blots out your transgressions for My own sake; And I will not remember your sins.”

Jenny felt a chill run down her spine at Ryann’s emotional and heartfelt recital.  Jenny couldn’t reach understanding, but she realized it didn’t really matter. She had been afraid that she was going to lose Ryann. For whatever reason Ryann was okay and Jenny was just happy to have her back.  She said so, “I’m just glad you’re okay.”

Ryann gave her friend a hug, knowing full well that Jenny had no comprehension of what was happening to her. She also knew that everything happened in God’s timing and not her own. “Come on, let’s go home.”

They ran all the way home.  The rain continued to fall. By the time they reached home, they were both soaked to the bone. Ryann welcomed the rain. It felt good. She had often danced in the rain before the Lord. The last time she danced before the Lord was with her son. She smiled at the memory. They had read the passage about King David dancing in the streets before the Lord. Just as they finished reading they heard the lightning crack. She grabbed his hand and jumped up and said ‘let’s go dance’. The rain came down and she and her son danced before God with all their might. She had lifted her son and twirled him and pictured the smile on her God’s face. He had been there with them dancing. Tears ran down her face, but they couldn’t be seen through the rain. They were between her and her God. They were good tears. Ryann came through the door in a rush. Everyone inside whipped around at the commotion. Most everyone had gone, just immediate family left.

Ryann scanned the room for her mother. Once she had spotted her she rushed her. She threw her arms around her. “Mom!”

Lorna step back and looked into her daughter’s eyes. What she saw there gave her more joy than she had had in a long time. “There’s my little girl. I told you. I knew that you were in there.”

“Back from the mire and the muck,” Ryann agreed.

Lorna laughed gleefully. “You’re really back,” she threw her arms around Ryann again and squeezed her tight. “Thank you, Lord. He’s brought you back.” Ryann picked her up and twirled her around. Lorna laughed and held on tight.

Ryann had all this energy. She wanted to dance as David had danced. She flipped on some music and shouted to everyone “I’m in the mood for a celebration. Let’s dance!” Though surprised, in a good way, the family and close friends remaining joined in. Everyone in the house felt different. They all felt as if they’ve just been given a great gift.

Josey walked over to Jenny, “Jenny, what happened?”

“I don’t know.  One minute she seemed about ready to shut down again.” She seemed lost in thought. “When she broke up through the surface she was different.” Jenny watched amazed as Ryann enjoyed herself with her family.

“Surface?”

“She dove off a cliff into some water,” Jenny explained.

“Where were you?”

“Somewhere near the cemetery.”

“I know the place.” Josey said. She stepped towards the group that was dancing and singing. “I’ve been waiting for this day for so long that I almost didn’t think it would happen. I just clung to faith. That’s all I had and look,” she looked at Jenny then back at the group, “The day has arrived.”

“Mmm,” Jenny didn’t have much to say. She just watched. Everyone was enjoying themselves. They were all happy and excited about this new change in all of their lives; everyone perhaps except Tel. He just sat there un-interested and unimpressed. Ryann was so happy she didn’t even notice but Teri did. “Is something wrong, Tel?”

“Nope,” Tel answered shortly. 

“Why can’t you be happy for us, for my sister?” Teri asked him. 

“Why,” he asked her abruptly.  “Because for this moment she’s who you all want her to be.  You all act as if the sun and moon rise with her.  She can do nothing wrong or if she does she’s so quickly forgiven.  You don’t hold her accountable for anything she’s done.  You all let her off the hook for everything.” Tel argued. 

“That’s not true.  Ryann has paid. She’s paid the price more than anyone else here.” Teri sat next to him.  “You have to stop blaming her for the decisions that I made myself.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I put off setting the date, not Ryann.  I chose to wait, not Ryann.  I put you off, not Ryann.  It was always my choice.”

“A choice you made because of her.”

“I didn’t say yes because I wasn’t ready to say yes.” She sighed.  “My dreams of marriage were based on Ryann’s marriage.  I wanted so much to have that kind of marriage.  I loved watching them together.  They completed each other.  I’ve never seen her happier than when she was with him.  My sister is the strongest person that I have ever met in my life, short of my mother.  It tore the heart out of her and all of us when we lost them.  I can not even contemplate that kind of pain.  I already loved you so much.  I was scared to death that I was going to lose you.  I wasn’t waiting for Ryann to come back.  Well, not completely.  I was scared in and of myself.  How would I have ever gone on if I had lost you?”

Tell turned her face to him.  “Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“You would never listen when it came to her.  How did I explain something to you that never experienced?” She touched as faced gently.  “Don’t blame Ryann from my fears.  It was still my choice.” She looked at the group dancing.  “As for our forgiveness of her, she’s the prodigal son come home again. How could we not welcome her home?”

She looked up and saw Ryann watching them. Ryann had noticed their heavy discussion. She smiled then cocked her head to the side as if just remembering something. She took a deep breath and seemed to travel even deeper into thought. Teri watched Ryann intently. It was almost as if there was something wrong. Teri rested her hand protectively over her unborn child. Why did she get a husband and a baby when Ryann had lost hers?

 “Is something wrong, Ryann?”

Ryann’s smile was a mixture of encouragement and sorrow.  She knew what she had to do.  She had to share with her family the secret she’d been keeping from them from even before the death of her husband and son.  She took a deep breath and concentrated on allowing the air to leave her lungs.  “Lord, give me the words,” she said quietly. She waited until the last of their friends had left so only immediate family was still around.  The family could read her now better than they had been able to for quite some time.  They all gathered around and made themselves comfortable and waited.  She prayed again for the strength to get through what she had to say and strength for her family to accept what she had to say.  When she looked up from the floor she smiled that same smile again.  Jenny saw the sadness in Ryann’s expression but it was nothing like before. Could there be something to this God of Ryann’s?  The change in Ryann that she was seeing was not just coincidence or chance.  It wasn’t something Ryann could do for herself; that Jenny knew for certain.  Jenny knew that Ryann would do anything to be with her family.  She would do anything for them.  There was no way that Ryann would’ve stayed away from them for so long had she had the ability to change fully by herself.  Now Ryann had something new to add to the pile of pain.  Her eyes still shown as they had the instant she came out of the water but whatever she was about to say was serious.  Was someone or something giving Ryann the courage to take this step she was never able to take before? 

Ryann took a deep breath and made herself comfortable.  There was no way to start except to just do it.  “Well, you remember,” she paused, “that’s a stupid starting, of course you remember.” She looked over Teri. 

Teri caught the look.  She knew that whatever Ryann had to tell them she was worried it would upset her.  Ryann was worried about the baby.  This both relieved and worried Teri.  She had still been afraid deep down that her pregnancy would hurt Ryann somehow.  The fact that Ryann was worried about the baby gave her some relief.  On the other hand the fact the Ryann felt this news was bad enough to upset her and the baby definitely worried her. 

“I don’t remember everything that happened that night,” Ryann started again.  “I remember everything that happened in the house and afterwards holding Jance.  I remember the feel of the weight of his body in my arms.  I remember faintly fighting in an ambulance.” Josey glanced at Jenny whose eyes were on Ryann.  Ryann continued, “But I don’t remember everything that happened.” Ryann sat quietly and tried to find the words to continue.  “The next thing I remember is being at the hospital with this horrible pain in my abdomen.  I knew what was happening so I made sure that the doctor promised me that he wouldn’t let anyone in to see me and that he would keep everything to himself; that he would uphold his doctor patient confidentiality.” She looked around the room for acknowledgements of remembrance. 

Lorna gave her one, “I remember.  We tried to get in, we tried to find out was going on but no one would tell us what was happening.  We couldn’t understand why they wouldn’t let us be with you.”

“I wouldn’t let them.”

“But why?” Lorne asked confused. 

“Oh, mama, I don’t know why,” she shrugged.  “Something in me had already snapped.  I didn’t want anyone’s help nor did I want anyone to feel the pain that I was feeling.  It was a burden that I felt I had to bear alone.  I did it in some ways to protect you all.  I know that I was wrong.  I...” she bit down her lip.  “I never expected to run from you or from God.” She bowed her head and closed her eyes. Everyone remained quiet.  They would let her tell what she had to say in her own time.  Oh lord, help me to tell them.  Help them to have peace with what I have to say.  “That night in that room I miscarried our baby.  I was three months pregnant.”

If the room at been silent before the slightest pin drop could be heard now; hearts had stopped beating and lungs had stopped exchange and air.  “David new,” Ryann offered.  “We had obviously known for a while.  Those first months are sometimes risky and we wanted to know for sure that I would carry the baby to term before we surprised you all. We were betting on it being a girl.” She chewed on her lip some more.  “Whether we were right or not I’m not sure, all I knew that night was that she was gone too. They were all gone.” She sighed. 

Ryann looked up at Jenny.  Jenny stood up and walked over to her.  She stood face to face with Ryann as if about to say something.  Not having any words that would ever do justice, Jenny just put her arms around her friend and held her tight.  Ryann accepted her comfort.  Jenny step back and let the rest of the family come forward. 

Ryann looked at her mom and Walter.  “You don’t need to say sorry.  I told you so that you could have the opportunity to mourn for your grandchild.  You deserve the chance to do that and I took it away from you.” She hugged them both one arm around each of their necks.  “I’m okay. ‘Come, and let us return to the Lord; For He has torn, but He will heal us; He has stricken, but He will bind us.’” She stepped back and looked in their faces.  “He has binded me.  He is healing me as we speak.  I know that the pain isn’t going to end here.  There are still layers of healing to go through but this first step, this first layer has been stripped.” She looked at her family and put her hand over her heart. “I have peace for the first time since it all happened.”

Lorna reached out and touched her face gently.  “I love you, Ryann.”

“I love you too, Mom.” She leaned over and kissed Walter on his cheek, “you too, Walter.” Ryann looked around the room.  Something was wrong.  She saw Tel setting where he had been before.  He was staring at the floor.  The poor guy looked dumb struck.  Ryann felt for him but what worried her most was that Teri was no longer sitting next to him.  Ryann glanced at the back door.  She had to have gone through there.  Ryann excused herself and headed out in search for her sister. 

Tel noticed her walk by and looked around.  Realizing Teri was gone, he got up to go find her.  Feeling someone grab his arm he stopped.  Lorna held his arm, “let them talk for a minute before you go to her.” Tel nodded in agreement. 

“Teri?”

Teri turned her back to Ryann and wiped her eyes.  Ryann stopped short of her and watched her sister.  What could she say to reassure her?  “Teri,” she sat down and straddled Teri and put her arms around her.  “How do I get it through that head of yours that I’m happy for you?” She put her hand on Teri’s stomach.  “I love this baby, Teri.  I can’t wait to hold this baby, to read him or her stories, to tell this child all about her crazy mom.” Ryann laughed. 

Teri stood up as though she hadn’t heard a word the Ryann said.  “I knew,” Teri said. 

“Knew what?” Ryann asked confused. 

“I knew that you were pregnant.” She crossed her arms.  “Maybe not for sure but I watched closely and waited for evidence.  That look that we talked about you having with Jance, you had that look.  When you and David would look at one another, when your eyes would lock, it was there.” She turned and looked out over the yard.  “It hurt too much to contemplate so I told myself I was wrong and I blocked it out.”

“Teri,” Ryann spoke sympathetically. 

“What if,” she started. 

“No,” Ryann jumped up and went to her side.  “I’m not going to let you do this.  Don’t try to be God.  You didn’t have the power to heal me, no matter how many facts you had.  Everything happens for a reason.  It’s all in a plan so much bigger than us.” She grabbed her sister’s shoulders and turned her so they stood face to face.  “Let it go, Teri.  Be happy.  I am.”

Teri flung her arms around Ryann.  “Thank you so much.”

Ryann laughed, “I’m not the one who got you pregnant.”

Teri joined her.  She wiped away the tears from her eyes, “I am so happy to have you back.”

“I’m happy to be back.” Ryann turned her head.  “I think someone else wants to give you a hug.”

Teri followed her gaze. “Hi, honey.”

Tel walked forward and put his arms around his wife.  “Hi, baby.” He looked over at Ryann. “Could I talk to you for a moment?”

“Sure,” Ryann agreed.

Teri wiped the tears from her eyes again.  “I’ll give you some room to talk.” She walked over to the fountain and waited.

Tel looked at Ryann.  “I wanted to say that I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Ryann asked, unsure where he was going.

“I haven’t exactly been the most gracious of people. I have blamed you for almost everything that hasn’t gone exactly my way since I met Teri.” Tel covered his mouth with his fist. “I couldn’t understand nor did I want to, what it would be like,” he looked at Ryann with sad yes. “I couldn’t imagine what I would do or what life would be like if something happened to my baby or Teri. I never want to know.”

Ryann extended her hand. “I made a selfish choice that hurt everyone, most of all myself. I did affect your life and I am sorry for that. So how about we forgive one another and start fresh. Sound good?”

He nodded. “Great.”

They shook hands as Teri walked up. “Let’s go inside.”

“You two go ahead. I think I’ll stay out here for a moment.” Ryann said.

Teri nodded. “Okay,” she took her husbands arm and they walked into the house hand in hand.

Ryann watched them until they disappeared into the house. She found a seat under the open sky and sat with her head tipped up toward the stars. Jenny walked out into the back yard. It didn’t take her long to find Ryann. Ryann’s head was tilted back but her eyes were closed. Jenny stood there staring at this person before her. Who was she? She wasn’t that infuriating authority figure she had first come in contact with. Nor was she the woman behind the wall who she had come to love. She wasn’t even that wounded vulnerable person she had gotten to know this last while. So who was the real Ryann Kodi? Jenny was both dying to find out and scared to death she would. She was happy for Ryann, she guessed. Ryann seemed happy now. She sat there in silence with such a look of peace on her face. Jenny wasn’t sure if this was real or if it would last. More than that though what part did she or would she have in this new Ryann’s life?

Jenny’s whole world was blowing up around her. She had a younger brother that hates her best friend. She had a father who abandoned her. Her family had lied to her. How did she go on? Where did she go from here? Jenny closed her eyes and tried to hide from her pain and confusion. Ryann opened her eyes feeling someone’s presence. She saw Jenny a short distance from herself. Quietly Ryann stood and walked over to her. “You okay?”

Jenny opened her eyes. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“I am so sorry, Jenny.” Ryann touched her cheek softly. “You’ve had so much heaved on you and now this.” Ryann sighed. “I’ll understand if, you know, if things are…different.”

Jenny looked at her funny. “What are you talking about?”

Ryann shrugged and then shook her head. “You had no idea what you were getting into. I was a different person when we met. I brought a lot of baggage into your life and on top of that, I’ve changed. I am not that person that you became friends with. If you,” she stopped.

“Ryann, are you trying to give me an ‘out’ of our friendship?” Jenny asked.

“Well, yeah…I guess.”
            “Oh I see,” Jenny laughed. “For a moment I thought you were trying to break up with me.” She grinned mischievously.

Ryann shook her head and laughed. “Thanks.”

Jenny sighed. “Here I’ve been wondering if I still would have a place in your life and you’re wondering if I want a place in your life.” She shook her head. “You’ve went through a lot of changes.”

Ryann agreed. “That I have.”

“The thing is that each change has led to someone better.” She reached out and touched Ryann’s cheek. “I’m glad to finally be meeting the real you. It’s been a long time coming. I just worry that I don’t fit in to the equation.”

Ryann hugged her friend. “You will always have a place in my life. You’re one of God’s gifts to me.”

“Who is this God of yours?” Jenny asked confounded.

Ryann smiled. “I hope you’ll give me the chance to show you.”

They hugged again. It had been a long day and they were both starting to feel it. “Let’s hit the hay. I’m bushed.” Ryann tugged on Jenny’s arm. “Tomorrow will be a new day with new trials. We’d best get ready for it.”

Jenny nodded. Without warning the face of a young man popped into her head. “Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked as they walked toward the house.

Ryann turned slowly around to face Jenny again. “I was going to tell you the other day and then I ran into him. I’m not the only one who reacted badly through this whole thing. When I shut down Luke took it as belief that I just didn’t care. When I left, it made it all the worse. I was trying to find a way to tell you. I never dreamed he would show up like that.”

Jenny nodded. “I understand.”

Ryann sat down again. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

Jenny nodded. “I just don’t know how to deal with him.”

“Compassionately. Trust me; he needs a lot of it. But really, he’s your brother, just get to know him.” Ryann suggested.  

Jenny looked at her like she was crazy. “I don’t want to know him. Didn’t you hear a word he said to you?”

Ryann nodded, “oh yeah I heard. But I explained that, it doesn’t have anything to do with you.”

Ryann received another dirty look. “Look, I do not want to talk about this.” Jenny said.

Ryann watched her for a moment. She would pick her battles, this was one she would let go for now. “C’mon, let’s go in.”

The next few days went by without much excitement. Both Ryann and Jenny took it easy and relaxed. Jenny didn’t allow any talk of Luke but they did do a lot of talking about anything but Luke. Ryann knew that something needed to be done. She had just the thing in mind.

“Let’s go for a jog,” Ryann suggested. “It would do you some good.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jenny asked defensively.

“Just that you’ve been letting yourself go these last few weeks.” Ryann teased.

“Oh and you haven’t!”

“Well, I’m in better shape than you. I can take a short period of laziness.”

“Oh,” Jenny said, “you’re going to eat those words.” She shoved Ryann towards the door. “I can match anything you throw out at me.”

“That’s because you learned from the best,” Ryann teased.

“What an ego.”

“You do need to take it down a notch.”

Jenny shook her head. “You’re impossible.”

“I try to be,” Ryann agreed. “Let’s run.”

They took off, Ryann leading the way. She gave them both a really good workout but that was not her only priority. Ryann was up to something and Jenny could feel it. The longer they went on, the more she felt that they had a specific destination.

They stopped in front of a house. “You ready for a break?” Ryann asked.

“Sure,” Jenny answered cautiously.

Ryann smiled and walked towards the house. “Come on, there’s someone that I want you to meet.” She stopped half way up the walk. “Now that things have settled down I have a surprise for you.”

Jenny eyed her suspiciously. She’d had enough surprises for a while, but took comfort that Ryann seemed excited about this one. They walked up to the door and knocked. Ryann gave her an encouraging smile as they waited. “They don’t know we’re coming. It’s a surprise for them as well.”

A woman not much older than Ryann opened the door. She looked pleasant enough in her quizzical state, her face lit up when she saw Ryann. “Ryann!” They embraced. “Oh wow, it’s so good to see you. Come in, come in.” She stepped back and let them walk through.

A young boy heard the door close and came out of his room to investigate. When seeing Ryann he stopped and studied her for a moment. He looked so serious as he examined her features. “I think I know you,” he stated.

Ryann smiled. “You do,” she squatted down to his level. “It’s been a while since I’ve been by.”

He nodded in agreement. “You’re Ryann.”

She was touched that he remembered. “And you, little mister, are JR.” He walked up and gave her a hug. She engulfed him and stood with him in her arms. “You’ve gotten so big.” She kissed his cheek. “Hey, I have someone for you to meet.”

“Yeah?”

“Yep, this is Jenny,” she motioned toward her, “and guess what.”

“What?”

She looked up at Jenny. “She has the same daddy that you have.” She noted Jenny’s sharp intake of breath. “She’s your sister.”

JR looked Jenny over thoroughly. “I’ve never had a sister before,” he said in awe. “That means I’m her little brother, huh.”

Ryann smiled at him then looked up to Jenny. “It sure does.”

He motioned that he wanted down. He ran over to Jenny. She awkwardly bent over to his level. “Hi, Jenny! I’m JR.”

“Hi, JR.” She glanced up at Ryann with a lost look in her eyes.

“JR, why don’t you go pick up some of those clothes you threw on the floor, then you can show Jenny your room.” His mother suggested.

“Okay,” he turned and ran towards his room.

“Well, I’d like to say I’m surprised, but nothing much with Blake surprises me anymore.” She turned to Jenny. “I’m Daphney.”

“Jenny.”

“Yes, I caught that.”

Jenny looked at Ryann in question. Ryann just smiled. “Surprise.”

“That’s putting it mildly. I don’t have any other siblings out there, do I?”

Ryann shook her head. “Nope, no more siblings will pop out of the woodwork.”

“Well, at least none that we know of.” Daphney chimed in.  Jenny looked at her questioningly. “Oh, it’s a long story.”

Jenny nodded in belief. She had no doubt it would be a long and interesting story. JR came out and grabbed Jenny by the hand. “Will you come see my room?” Jenny nodded and followed her young leader. “You’ll like my room. Daddy buys me lots of toys. Mommy says it’s because he feels guilty not taking responsibility for his relationships.” JR repeated. “But he is doing better,” he stated in his grown up voice.

Ryann laughed while Daphney made a mental note to be more careful what she said around her son. “Would you like to sit?” she asked Ryann.

“Sure,” Ryann agreed.

They sat and chatted for a while. “Oh, I almost forgot. Luke should be showing up at any time.”

“Good,” Ryann said, “it would be good for Jenny to see him with JR. It’ll give her a chance to see him a bit differently.”

“They’ve met?”

“Yeah, it didn’t go well. He showed up at the house drunk, spouting his feelings about.”
            “Oh,” Daphney responded knowing exactly what was said.

“Mmm, Jenny didn’t take it well. She’s torn between the sensations of having a new brother and loyalty to me. Unfortunately, loyalty won out big time.” Ryann explained. “Maybe seeing him with JR will give them another chance.”

There was a knock at the door. “That’s him.”

“Okay, I’ll go in the kitchen. Just send him into the room.” Ryann got up and walked toward the kitchen.

“Make yourself at home,” Daphney told her. She opened the door after Ryann disappeared into the kitchen. “Hey, Luke, JR is in his room. Go on in.”

“Okay, thanks.” He walked by her into the room. “Hey, JR…” His words stretched out as he saw Jenny. They stared at each other for a moment. JR didn’t notice the tension. He ran up and gave his brother a hug.

“Hi, Luke!” JR took his hand. “This is Jenny. She’s my sister.” He thought for a moment. “Hey, is she your sister too?”
            “It would appear that way,” Luke affirmed.

JR got them immediately involved in building a great castle out of Lego’s. Jenny excused herself but promised to return. She found her way to the kitchen. Ryann saw her coming and put up her hands.

“I didn’t know he was coming,” she defended herself before Jenny could say anything.

Jenny looked to Daphney. “She’s telling the truth,” she backed her up.

“Lucky me,” Jenny said sarcastically.

“Hey,” Ryann pled, “give him another chance. He was drunk.”

“Oh,” Jenny started, “so if he walked in here now, he wouldn’t be such an ass.” No one answered. “Didn’t think so.”

Ryann grabbed her and pulled her closer. “Don’t let me come between you and your family.”

“That’s not fair, Ryann.”

“What’s not fair?”

“I’m supposedly a part of your family but you’re not a part of mine.” Jenny accused her.

“Okay, okay, you have a point.” Ryann admitted. “Look, I don’t want you to take his side and hate me or anything. You’re giving me too much credit if you think I’m not offended. He’s hurting and he needs someone to blame. I fit his bill.”

“Why doesn’t he blame the people responsible?” Jenny asked annoyed.

Ryann sighed. “Because they’re not here and I am. I just want to give you a chance that was stolen form you. Agree to disagree and get to know one another. Before all this, Luke and I were great friends. He’s a good guy; he’s just hiding behind a wall. You’re good with people like that.”

Jenny shook her head but she was calmer. “I don’t know, Ryann.”

“Go on, get to know your brothers.” Ryann pushed.

There was a knock on the door. “Probably money collectors for the paper. I’ll get it.” Daphney explained.

Jenny walked back into JR’s room. Ryann followed Daphney out into the living room. She opened the door but it wasn’t a collector, it was Blake.

“Well hello, Blake.” Ryann greeted him.

“Hi,” he answered surprised. “I didn’t expect to see you here.” He looked over Ryann awkwardly.

She had a feeling he wanted to hug her but felt he was not allowed to. “Nor we you,” Ryann countered.

“Is Jenny here?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“Maybe I should go,” he suggested.

Ryann shrugged. “Well, you could pansy out. That is one option,” she goaded, “or you could try and get to know your own daughter. It will be a real family moment. Luke is in there as well.”

“Are you sure?” he asked hesitantly.

“Yes. Just make sure you mention that this was a last minute drop by or she’ll be out here chewing on my head.”

He nodded and turned towards JR’s room. He looked nervous. Ryann watched him plod towards the room. She had never pegged Blake to be lacking in courage. He was starting to border cowardice in her eyes. She pushed the thought out of her head. She had no right to judge him. “You ever hear the deserted island theory?” She asked Daphney.

“Have you ever heard of homicide?”

Ryann chuckled. “Does the door still stick from the inside?”

“Ryann…” Daphney shook her head. “Yes.”

“I think they could use some treats and some privacy.”

“You’re going to get me in trouble too, I see.”

“Yes.”

“You are crazy.”

“Yes.”

“Okay, I’ll get to it.”

“Let’s commence Operation Desert Island.”

“For you,” she said with a laugh, “it might be Operation Death.”

“She’ll forgive me eventually.”

Jenny recognized the man immediately. She had seen a family picture. Come to think of it Luke had been there as well, but she hadn’t thought about him. She had asked Ryann about her father. She had allowed Ryann to answer her question but nothing further. Ryann had offered a meeting between the two but Jenny had refused. Still she had known the day would come. She shouldn’t be surprised. She would give Ryann the benefit of the doubt and assume she had no part in this meeting. Daphney walked in with a tray of goodies. She gave Jenny a sympathetic smile.

Daphney quietly shut the door behind her. She could tell that her son was oblivious to the tension that the adults could not escape. She hoped this would get them to resolve their issues but doubted the outcome.

Luke had not said a word to anyone but JR. He wasn’t sure what was going on until he saw the look on both Jenny’s and Blake’s face when the two exchanged glances. “So it’s true,” Luke said. “I didn’t quite believe it…considering the source.”

“Luke,” Blake warned in a deep authoritative voice.

Luke shot him a look bespeaking his lack of care towards his father. “I haven’t forgotten where your loyalties lay, father.” He crossed his arms. “You betray their memory every time you side with the precious almighty Ryann.”

“You pompous…”

Blake cleared his throat as a warning. The tension had just risen enough to alert JR to the problem.

“No one lost as much as she did,” she said in an even tone.

He snorted in response.

“I’ve had enough of this.” She walked to the door and turned the handle. The handle turned but the door didn’t budge. “Oh you’ve got to be kidding me!”

Blake walked over. “This door sticks really badly. I need to shave it down some.” He gave it a jerk. “It will only really open if you push from the other side.”

“That’s really safe,” Jenny bit out.

“Yeah, I know.” He sighed. “We just never shut the door.”

She laughed sardonically. “Oh no. Ryann!” she yelled. She banged on the door. “You have got to be kidding me! Open this door right now!”

Blake leaned against the wall. “I think I heard the front door close just after Daphney brought in the apples and cheese. They either left or are outside.”

Jenny twisted around toward the window.

“Its sealed shut,” Blake warned. “It was painted closed.”

“You guys are just trying to burn this boy alive. How would he get out if there was a fire?”

“He doesn’t sleep in here, it’s his toy room. That’s why the door never has to be closed.”

Jenny rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Then take the,” she caught herself and corrected her language beforehand, “dang door off the hinges.”

“At least she’s gone,” Luke said in an acidic tone.

Jenny took a step towards him but stopped. She turned her attention to JR. “I guess this isn’t much fun for you.”

He walked up to her. “Why is everyone mad?”

She pushed her fingers through his hair and forced a smile. “We’re just having a disagreement.” She forced herself not to flash Luke a dirty look. She decided to change the subject. “Hey, JR, what do your initials stand for?” she asked him.

He smiled big, the tension forgotten. “James Ryan Kodi.”

“Ryan?”

Blake nodded. “Ryann’s name sake.”

“Why?”

“Bad judgment,” Luke shot out out.

Jenny ignored him. Blake followed suit. “Ryann convinced Daphney to…” he paused, “to not look at the situation as something to get out of,” he finished carefully.

“Oh,” Jenny said in understanding. “Wow.”

JR smiled. “Now what should we do?” he asked and surveyed the room.

“Knock a hole in the wall,” Jenny said under her breath.

Blake heard and laughed lightly. “It’s worth the thought, but probably not the effort.”

Jenny studied him for a moment. Under her scrutiny his smile slowly faded replaced by a nervous attempt at normalcy. For a brief second she could actually see him as her father as though it were normal. Yet that quick flash was gone and she saw a man who couldn’t remain faithful to any of the women in his life, herself included. She turned to the door and rested her head on it. “Come on, Ryann.”

“Or rather not,” Luke said.

“Would you please lay off,” she hissed at him. “I’ve had enough of you.”

Luke’s lip trembled as though he were a child who was just reprimanded. He burst out like one. “What is wrong with all of you!? Are you so blind that you can’t see who she really is?”

“What is it that you want?” Blake asked.

“I wish that she had died and not David!” He hurriedly wiped at a tear rolling down his red emotion flamed cheek. “I hate her.”

Jenny was fuming but she held it in. She was so angry that she couldn’t speak. She heard the sound of the front door opening. She waited and listened as footsteps neared. The handle turned and the door was pushed forcibly from the other side. The door opened and Jenny stepped out. She walked past Daphney into the kitchen where Ryann stood waiting. Ryann stood waiting to see what would happen. Jenny had a whole lot to say but her tongue was temporarily paralyzed. She didn’t hesitate, she just stepped up to Ryann and with a clenched fist delivered a blow to Ryann face that laid her out on the floor. “Don’t you ever do that again!” She turned away and was out the front door before Ryann could sit up.

Ryann rubbed her throbbing jaw. Blake walked over and offered her a hand up. He had an amused smile on his face. Ryann shrugged and took his offer. “Did you manage to accomplish anything?”

“Yeah,” he answered. “You managed to infuriate her.”

“So much for Operation Desert Island,” she jumped up. “Would it have been better if JR hadn’t been there and you could all talk openly?”

Blake looked doubtful. “I’m thinking that JR probably saved his brother’s life. So, no.”

“Well, better luck next time, eh?” She turned and jogged out the door. She spotted Jenny down a ways and ran towards her. “Wait up.”

Jenny stopped and turned. “You do not want to talk to me right now.”

Ryann looked her over. “Okay, we’ll try a different tact. Come with me.” She started walking away before Jenny could refuse.

Ryann led her to a local gym about a quarter of a mile away. She checked out the ring and found it was open. “Perfect.” She grabbed a pair of gloves and threw them to Jenny. She grabbed her own and jumped up on the ring. She stepped through the ropes and held them open for Jenny. “You game?”

Jenny flashed her a dirty look then followed her into the ring. She did need to work out some of this tension and Ryann seemed a good target. A memory flashed into her mind of Ryann lying in a pool of her own blood. Jenny shook it from her mind. This wasn’t the same thing. “Let’s go.”

They dived right into all that Ryann had been teaching her. Ryann had no great problem defending herself despite Jenny’s progress and anger. They kept up without taking a breather. People started to gather around to watch. Without knowing the fighters they picked one or the other to root for and cheered them on. Ryann and Jenny were both aware of the attention but ignored it. This wasn’t about anyone else in the room.

From off to Ryann’s left a voice called out. “Stink Bug?”

Ryann twisted around to face the familiar voice. Two surprises ensued, the first being the speaker and the next a gloved fist to the face. She fell to the matt. “Ow,” she laughed and held her jaw. “You would have to hit the exact same spot.” She opened her mouth and tested it to make sure it still worked. “Nice move.” She rolled to her side to face her distraction. “Nice timing, Jason.” She smiled at him. “And don’t call me that.”

Jason crawled into the ring. “I can’t believe it’s really you!”

They hugged and held tight to each other. Ryann felt emotions creeping up and instead of blocking them out as usual, she buried her face in his neck and held on tight. Jenny saw emotions from both sides. Despite her anger she couldn’t help but sympathize. The anger evaporated.

Ryann pulled back. “It’s really good to see you.” She smiled brightly. “You look really good.”

“You’re not too shabby yourself,” he held her back and examined her. “Look at you. You’re all muscle. What happened to all that flab?”

“Thanks, Jason,” she managed to say with an un-amused tone despite her amusement. “You sure can flatter a lady.”

“Show me a lady and I’ll flatter her.” He grinned brightly.

Ryann mouth gapped open and slugged his arm. “You’re just mean.”

He pulled her into a hug much like that of an older brother to his kid sister. He squeezed her until she couldn’t breath and then let go. “You know I adore you. You look great. You always did look great.”

“Yeah, that’s believable now.”

“Well of course it is. I’ve had a crush on you since the first day the dog dragged you home.”

Her teeth clenched at the reference. No one had yet had the courage that Jason was showing. He wasn’t holding back waiting to see if she would break to pieces. He treated her now as he would have the day before her world had shattered. Even now he looked knowingly at her but not apologetic. He knew the reference would have meaning that could potentially upset her. Yet he refused to change their relationship on account of it. She absolutely loved him for it.

“That dog had good taste.”

“Yes he did. That’s how I knew I’d missed out on a tasty morsel.”

She shook her head but couldn’t help the huge grin on her face. “You’re incorrigible.” She playfully shoved him. “It’s really good to see you.”

“It’s really good to have you back.”

Jason finally diverted his attention to Jenny. “And who is this lovely creature.”

“Unattainable prey.”

He gave her a challenging look, assuring he could attain anything he wanted. “Yet prey worth tracking.”

Jenny looked amused but didn’t respond. What was with these people and word games?

“It would never work out,” Ryann assured him.

“Do you doubt my hunting skills or is there more madness behind your claim?” Jason shot Jenny a grin then turned his attention back to Ryann.

“You may be a good hunter, though I have my doubts, but this prey can take care of herself.”

Jason nodded in agreement. “So I’ve seen. Anyone who can knock you for a loop has my utter devotion. You have a terrific approach.”

“I did learn from the best.”

“And who was that?” he asked curiously.

“The stink bug.”

Ryann shot her a dirty look. “That’s enough of that right now.”

“You trained her?” Jason asked surprised.

Ryann nodded, pleased at his look of wonder.

“Wow, I guess you must be a really good teacher for the student to get the best of you.”

“She sure did.” Ryann tried out her jaw again. “Twice in the same spot.” She might have to put some ice on it soon.

“Well, in Ryann’s defense, my getting the best of her happens very little. Few and far between, I’m afraid. She’s by far my better.”

“Hardly,” Ryann countered. “I could rarely keep up with you.”

“What?” Jenny asked in disbelief.

“I knew how to push you. I could get your ire going enough to push that extra mile that I myself might not have been able to do.”

Jenny shook her head. She made a small “hmmn” sound. “You’re still doing it.”

“Yes I am,” Ryann agreed sheepishly.

Jason stood silent, amused by the interaction of the two. He liked this new girl. “Back to the hunt, are you sure it wont work out?”

“Well, I’d say in most cases that it would be an all out no between the two of you, but you are just backwoods enough that you probably wouldn’t mind the kissing cousins label. But I’m thinking even beyond that, she’s just too good for you.”

Jason’s brow rose, whether at the new information or the playful slam she wasn’t sure. Jenny side stepped and looked at Jason as though he had just magically appeared out of no where. Then she looked at Ryann with a bit of an accusation on her face. It wasn’t difficult for Ryann to figure out what she was thinking.

Ryann stepped out of the ring and headed for the ice box. She grabbed a towel and filled it with ice and then folded the towel over like a pouch. The two turned and watched her, waiting patiently for her to return. She leaned on one of the ropes as she pressed the towel to her sore jaw. “Jenny is Blake’s daughter. Jason’s mother and Blake are siblings. You two are first cousins.”

Jenny’s look was verging on threatening.

“Hey,” Ryann defended herself, “I said you had no more siblings. I didn’t say anything about other family members. The Kodi family is large and rather obnoxious as you’ve just witnessed. They’re also a bit infectious. They really get under your skin and dig in for keeps.”

“Yes,” Jason agreed, “you’ve been trying to rid us for years. By now you should know that you’ll never be free of us.” He gave a playful and gleefully evil laugh. Then he turned to Jenny. “Welcome to the family. I hadn’t yet heard the news. I guess I need to get back in the gossip chain. I don’t know how I could have missed two important events. I’ll do better from now on.” He extended his hand, but Jenny just stared at it.

Ryann had been Jenny’s coach in more than fighting. She had also taught Jenny to retreat behind a stone wall when feeling scared or threatened. It would take a little while to reverse the damage done. “You’ll have to excuse Jenny, Jason. While being prone to witty interaction, this particular prey draws back while in shock believing that if one holds still and is very quiet the hunter will no longer be able to spot her. One of those lessons she would have been better off not learning from me.”

Jenny looked over at Ryann. Their eyes met and held. Jenny knew what Ryann was implying and she knew too that she was guilty of becoming the thing that she had hated. Ryann had been able to break through that wall before. Yet she was slowly building that wall up against her new found family. Thinking about it now, she didn’t want to live like that. Blake and Luke were one thing but what of cousin’s and aunts and uncles and whatever else is out there? Did she want to punish them for something they may not have even known about? No, she definitely didn’t.

“I’m sorry, Jason. I just didn’t expect this turn of events. It is nice to meet you.” She shook his hand.

He smiled reassuringly, “it’s okay, Jenny. It is quite a shock to be related to someone as handsome as I am. I understand the hang up.”

“I’m about to be sick,” followed Ryann’s unimpressed response.

“Now who is mean,” he feigned wounded. He turned back to Jenny. “You do have perfect timing. I have a great idea.”

Ryann cocked her head to the side and waited amused, “can’t wait to hear this one.”

Jason grunted in response then continued on. “There’s a family barbeque this Saturday. You should come and meet the rest of the bunch. Everyone will be there.”

Jenny took a small step away from him as though it would get her out of the building and away from his proposal. Ryann decided she needed a little help with this one. “Shockingly that is a good idea. You’ve filled your quota for the year with that one.” She grinned as he stuck his tongue out at her. “You should go.”

“I should go?” she didn’t miss the pronoun.

“Yep.”

Jason wasn’t far behind. “The invitation was for two.”

“Yes, indeed it was. However I don’t really need a repeat occurrence. My patience will only go so far with the pup.”

“Mmmm,” Jason caught on. “Yeah, he is rather a pain in the rear end of late. I think he’s teething.”

Jenny figured they were speaking about Luke but she wasn’t completely sure. She figured she would stay out of it for the moment. She knew she could at least stick to the ‘I’m not going if you’re not going’ defense. So she would let Ryann try and back out of it all she wanted.

Jason looked thoughtful, not sure how to proceed. Ryann was mounting a defense in her mind to avoid another encounter with Luke. She wouldn’t admit it out loud but the boy wasn’t going to live much longer if he kept it up. She wouldn’t be understanding forever. She was likely to belt him one of these times. Ryann happened to glance at Jenny just as she was going to deliver her defense. She read the girl easily. “You’re not going if I don’t go, are you?”

“What do you think?”

Ryann sighed. Lord, you move too fast sometimes. I don’t know if I can keep up. “Jason is better company than I let on.”

Jenny just gave her a look confirming that wasn’t the point.

Jason stepped in. He’d quickly mounted an offense during Ryann’s defense. “Here’s the thing, Ryann. You can’t let one person rob this from all the rest. They’ve all been waiting for you to come home. We’ve all felt too long that you died that day as well, and it’s time for your resurrection. You owe them that.”

“I don’t want to cause a rift.”

“A fissure as deep as the ocean has already ripped through this family. Don’t you think it’s time that we start filling it up?”

“I’m not so sure that I can fill it.”

Jason leaned against the corner pole. He crossed his arms and all play left his face. “You almost fooled me. For a moment I thought that you had finally started to think about someone else for the first time in years. What a let down.”

“Jason!” Jenny objected.

Ryann squared off with him, unable to break eye contact. She felt the sting but she knew Jason well enough to know he did not hurt to tear down but to help build up. She had to think this through and make sure that she was relying on wisdom and not backing down to fear. “How can you be so sure?”

He smiled reassuringly. His eyes were warm and she could feel his love. They had become fast friends for life. “When you and David began to date no one really knew what to think of you. David was the favorite, the golden boy, and it was declared at a young age that no girl in the land would be quite good enough for him. They were afraid that this over zealous tempestuous beautiful girl would end up breaking him if he really fell for you,” he laughed as his mind wandered into the past. “Without realizing when or how, they found that it was they that had fallen for you before even David did. He used to joke with us all the time that he should never have married you because you took over his hold on the family. He accused us of letting you wrap us around your little finger. He was calling us whipped before you ever finally, I might add, got him whipped into shape.” He lifted his hand pointer finger raised to emphasize his point. “I dare say they forgot which one of you was actually blood related.” His face turned stern again. “They not only deserve the chance to love you, they need the chance to love you. Don’t break our hearts.”

Ryann first tasted the salt from a tear that strayed over to her lips before she actually felt them running down her cheeks. Her instinct was to swipe at them and try to cover their tracks but she held herself back. She nodded. “Okay, okay.” I won’t give way to fear. Just get me through this, Lord. I can’t do it without you. “We’ll be there.”

“Great! Same bat time, same bat place.”

“Okay.” Ryann looked at Jenny who looked surprised that Ryann agreed. “But you’d best get the heavy hitters of the family to lean on the pup. This will not be a repeat occurrence.”

“Have quite a reunion did you,” Jason stepped up and wiped away her tears. He smiled at her. “Look who’s all grown up.” He leaned over and kissed her cheek. “I’m very proud of you,” he whispered in her ear.

Ryann couldn’t speak through her emotions. She just nodded. Taking a deep breath she cleared her head. “We should probably get going.” She motioned for Jenny to follow her lead. They both said their goodbyes and were on their way. Both were quiet for some time. Ryann stole a quick glance at Jenny.

“What are you thinking?”

“You have to stop pushing me at Luke.”

Ryann took a deep breath. “You don’t beat around the bush.”

“Do you want me to?”

“No. I just don’t want you to miss out on anything else.”

“Look, Ryann, I know you feel responsible for the way I feel but you’re wrong. He makes his own choices and he needs to deal with the consequences. You can’t fix it for either of us.”

Ryann stopped. “Look at me.” Ryann grabbed her arm and turned her. “When I look at you I’m comforted. You don’t even have to say anything. Just being with me is enough to make me feel better. I see someone who cares about me and would do anything for me.”

“I would,” Jenny agreed, “but I can’t force myself to like him.”

“Let me finish.” She touched Jenny’s face tenderly. “It wasn’t always like that.” She pulled her hand away.

Jenny crossed her arms in front of her to form her protective shield. It didn’t take a genius to see where Ryann was going. She waited for the blow. “Your point?”

“My point? Jenny, you hated me. Did you ever wish those were real guns in your hand?” She waited for Jenny’s wince. “The way you feel right now about Luke, does it feel familiar to you?”

Jenny had to think about that for a moment. It was in the very least very similar, she couldn’t deny that. Still, it seemed different. “Fine, I’ll concede to the possibility. So when he has a life altering event and begs my forgiveness and asks for another chance, I’ll consider it. Fair enough?”

That’s not quite where Ryann had wanted the conversation to go. She kind of fell into her own trap. She couldn’t escape the need for Luke to repent. “Only if you really mean it.”

Jenny shrugged. “I’m still not so sure it’s the same. I know he’s lost them too but it doesn’t seem to compare somehow.”

Ryann contemplated her response. “We tend to like to play the comparison game but it doesn’t really work that way. Anything that hurts you is valid to you. It doesn’t matter how it would affect someone else. David was Luke’s hero. As for Jance,” she paused at the thought, “Luke had a notebook full of uncle and nephew to do lists all ready before we took Jance home from the hospital for the first time. He even had it organized by age.” Ryann’s voice cracked slightly as she relayed the information. “It didn’t get completed.” She inhaled. “I was excited to tell him he was going to be an uncle again. I never did.”

Tears filled Jenny’s eyes as she watched the pain in her friend’s eyes. “Ryann.”

Ryann put on her encouraging smile. “It’s okay. I’ve made my peace with it. I don’t mourn for them. I just miss them.” She exhaled sharply, “whew. Okay, we’re getting off the subject. Whether you believe it or not, I had supernatural help to heal my wounds once I stopped running from it. Luke doesn’t have that. He’s all alone, lost and alone. Life is too short to take the chance. Don’t let another bullet or a car accident or anything rob you of the chance to know your own flesh and blood. Who knows if he’ll be here long enough to say that he’s sorry.”

Jenny shook her head almost in tears. “How? I don’t know how.”

Ryann pulled her into her arms. “Like this.”

Jenny sobbed into Ryann’s shoulder. Once they both had their emotions under control they started on their way again, each in deep thought. As they approached home Ryann put her hand on Jenny’s shoulder.

“I’m really glad that you adopted us and made us your second home.”

Jenny smiled sadly. “I’m not sure there’s a second to it.”

“There is.”

“You just don’t give up.”

“You’re right.”

Jenny laughed despite herself. “What would I do without you?”

“I really don’t know. But I’m telling mom you hit me.”

Jenny shoved her off the sidewalk. Ryann jumped back on and put her arm around Jenny’s shoulders. “C’mon lets get home.”

They walked through the door into the house. “I am tired and sore.” Jenny stated.

“Poor baby. Your jaw doesn’t look swollen and bruised.” Ryann teased.

“My jaw didn’t deserve it.”

“One should never resort to violence.”

“Hmmph.”

Ryann pushed her towards the stairs. Go take a shower then lay face down on the bed. I know what will make you feel better.”

“That scares me.”

“Just go before I give you a jaw to match.”

“Ha. What are you going to do?”

“I’m going to use mom’s shower, and then I’ll meet you there.”

“Okay.” She bounded off up the stairs.

“Ryann?” Lorna called from the kitchen.

“How did it go?”

Ryann turned to face her.

“Oh my,” Lorna walked over and examined the bruise. “I bet that smarts.”

“It does,” Ryann agreed, “both times.”

“Twice, huh?”

“We were letting off some steam boxing and some smart aleck calls out ‘Is that you, stink bug?’ and of course I look over and pow.”

Lorna smiled. “How is Jason?”

“Ornery as ever.”

“So exactly what did you do to get hit anyway? I thought this was just a sweet family reunion?” Lorna inquired.

“Luke was there.”

“Oh.”

“Then Blake showed up.”

“Oh,” in an increasing understanding tone.

“What did you do that you would have been wise not to?”

“Shut the door.”

“Come again?”

“It sticks from the inside.”

“Oh, Ryann.”

“Yes, I know.”

“No wonder the slug.”

“Are you suggesting that I deserved it?” Ryann asked playfully.

Lorna patted her lightly on the other side of her face. “It took you so long to get past the pain. You can’t go rushing people to get there. It does take a little time.”

“I know. I just don’t want her to have regrets,” Ryann explained.

“I know.” She hugged her daughter. “Now go and take a shower. You smell awful.”

“Ha ha, mom.”

Lorna laughed. “Go, get out of my kitchen.”

“It’s just sweat, mom.”

She flicked a dish towel at her. “Get.”

Ryann obeyed her mother. She took a quick shower and put on some fresh clothes. Jenny was already well done with her shower and was nearly asleep on the bed. Ryann smiled at her. She kneeled on the bed and began to work on Jenny’s sore muscles. This worked even more so to put Jenny to sleep.

Suddenly Jenny remembered the night she had nearly undone herself. She had been so tired and sore she thought she'd never move right again. She jerked and turned over. “You!”

“Excuse me?”

“You were my masseur. That night. You gave me hope that I would someday walk again. “

Ryann grinned and motioned for her to turn over again. “Guilty. You needed to relax and you really did push yourself to hard.” She held Jenny so she couldn’t turn in protest.

“You’re awful.”

“I know.”

Jenny started to relax again. “Did you take a class or something? You really are good.”

“I did. It was an option in college and I thought it would be fun.”

“You are full of surprises, Ryann.” She sighed. "You were like a closet nice person. An extreme...you know what and then when no one was looking you had a moment of kindness. What were you thinking?"

Ryann paused a moment. "I tried not too. I was dying of thirst and those were quick moments where I got a taste of clean water."

"Then back to the dirty water puddle?"

Ryann laughed. "Yeah, back to the dirty water puddle."