Descriptive Writing - not my strong point...

One of the things I’ve never been the greatest on is descriptive writing, probably because I don’t like to read it much either. Most of the time if a book gets too descriptive I jump ahead and get to action or dialog. A while back, don’t remember just why, I decided to practice writing a descriptive paragraph. I think I did alright. The funny thing is that it sparked a story - though not a long one. It only came to 56 pages but not a bad little short story for me anyway. Here is the paragraph…


Her face stung from the multitude of branches that slapped at her. Each one reached out to stop her, latching on to her hair, digging into her skin, ripping and grabbing at her, anything to thwart her escape. She felt one grab her upper lip, a slight tug, and then a tear. Blood slipped over her lip into her mouth. It was a familiar taste of late. She dare not turn around. Was the beating sound of crashing branches from her own flight or was he there behind her? Was his hand outstretched, just inches from her, ready to take her down? She could hear the exhale of his breath, feel it on her neck. She heard a laugh, deep and menacing. He was there. He was there and she had failed. Her one chance had come to nothing. She was alone with a monster and even the very trees had betrayed her. Her sweater caught hard on a branch, the force propelling her sideways. She slammed into the trunk of the tree responsible for her defeat. She scurried to rise up and continue on but the branch quickly encircled her and held her fast. The more she struggled the tighter was its hold. She heard the footfall next to her, the leaves crushing under the weight. The deep laughter which had become commonplace to her, sounded in her ears. She could not see through the darkness but could feel his presence. Instinctively she knew he was leaning towards her. She jerked but the branch would not give way. She felt his breath on her ear. Her eyes were pinched shut as tightly as she could manage but she could still see the smile on his face. “You’re mine. You will always be mine and nothing can take you from me.”